N/A — Count your stars

[RyanB]

There’s a lot of folks out there who would give anything to live an independent healthy life like we all do each day. It’s easy to take such a thing for granted.

My coworker’s sister was diagnosed with ALS about a year or so ago. Before she left this afternoon her brother in law sent her a text and said the nurse had been by their house and said her sister is showing signs that she’s beginning to shut down and she may not make it to Christmas. In 2010 we lost a family member to ALS, so I know the heartache she and her family are going through.

Not all of us share the same faith, but try to keep in mind the simple things in life that we get to enjoy everyday without a thought. A lot of people aren’t so lucky.

 

[Ted]

None of us know how much longer we have and how many more healthy years we have.

Do what you want to do while you can do it.

 

[RyanB]

None of us know how much longer we have and how many more healthy years we have.

Do what you want to do while you can do it.

You got that right. That’s the way I look at it too.

 

[paflyer]

None of us know how much longer we have and how many more healthy years we have.

Do what you want to do while you can do it.

Amen, brother.

 

[Bill]

None of us know how much longer we have and how many more healthy years we have.

Do what you want to do while you can do it.

One of life's great conundrums, how much to spend/do now, vs saving for retirement and saying "I'll do that in retirement."

 

[SkyDog58]

Sometimes I envy those who seem to live and enjoy their life with a bit of reckless abandonment or at least on a day to day basis rather than planning and plotting for a future that might never arrive. I struggle to find the right mix. I want to be able to be comfortable and worry free in my later years but I still want to enjoy today.

 

[Bill]

Sometimes I envy those who seem to live and enjoy their life with a bit of reckless abandonment or at least on a day to day basis rather than planning and plotting for a future that might never arrive. I struggle to find the right mix. I want to be able to be comfortable and worry free in my later years but I still want to enjoy today.

Sing it, Dog!

 

[Ted]

One of life's great conundrums, how much to spend/do now, vs saving for retirement and saying "I'll do that in retirement."

Sometimes I envy those who seem to live and enjoy their life with a bit of reckless abandonment or at least on a day to day basis rather than planning and plotting for a future that might never arrive. I struggle to find the right mix. I want to be able to be comfortable and worry free in my later years but I still want to enjoy today.

Balance is a hard thing to achieve, and something that I work at. Part of what makes it hard is that balance is different for everyone as we all have different wants, needs, and interests. Sometimes I wonder if I try to do too much, but on the whole I think I'm getting the right balance for me. I'm also fortunate to have a good job that I can mostly limit to 40 hours per week. I also have always maxed out my company's 401k matching.

I probably live more on the some degree of reckless abandonment side than on the over planning side. Part of my reason for this is that there are many things I enjoy doing that I can earn money with. So while I am planning to fully retire, I'm not afraid of the concept of continuing to work.

I've seen too many people die young unexpectedly, having a lot of savings that they never get to enjoy, and having sacrificed a great deal on the premise of "I'll do it in retirement." It's important to have retirement plans and goals, but also important to not dread getting out of bed in the morning for another day of drudgery.

 

[Bill]

My wife sometimes says, "Having X[1] doesn't help us get to retirement", and I reply "Neither did having open heart surgery." Argh![2]

[1] Boat, motorcycle, plane, whatever is bothering her that day...

[2] Marriage: The subtle art of negotiation and compromise...

 

[bnt83]

If you really pay attention to coworker(s) family happenings you'll notice a whole lot more people than you though never make it to "retirement" let alone healthy and independent. Some live to retire and die shortly after.

I'm not sure if there is an agency that even calculates such statistics but what are the odds you or I will end up like my grandparents? They have been retired and living at home pretty much as long as I have been alive (35 years), both in their 90s now, sadly they are near the end, but they have watched all their friends and siblings die.

If the past has any influence on the future I'd say I have probably a 10% chance of actually living to retirement age, which will be moved to 75 by then of course...

 

[MauleSkinner]

There’s some longevity in my family that I have to plan for...but there’s always the possibility that what I save is going to make my kids’ lives a little easier, which isn’t all bad, either.

My wife and I were heading up north this weekend to visit my aunt who has ALS that has been advancing fairly rapidly and her husband who has been in he nursing home for a few months. Found out yesterday that the visit will actually be for the uncle’s funeral. Not taken in the prime of life, by any stretch, but their plan for longevity will benefit the kids and grandkids that they spent their lives bringing up and setting an example for.

 

[Ted]

My wife sometimes says, "Having X[1] doesn't help us get to retirement", and I reply "Neither did having open heart surgery." Argh![2]

[1] Boat, motorcycle, plane, whatever is bothering her that day...

[2] Marriage: The subtle art of negotiation and compromise...

I am very fortunate to have a wife who thinks like me so these discussions aren't much of an issue.

If you really pay attention to coworker(s) family happenings you'll notice a whole lot more people than you though never make it to "retirement" let alone healthy and independent. Some live to retire and die shortly after.

I'm not sure if there is an agency that even calculates such statistics but what are the odds you or I will end up like my grandparents? They have been retired and living at home pretty much as long as I have been alive (35 years), both in their 90s now, sadly they are near the end, but they have watched all their friends and siblings die.

Very true. I think it was probably college age timeframe, or shortly thereafter, where the reality of perhaps not making it to retirement (or not having a long, healthy retirement) really struck me. Growing up, my grandfather had died at 76, but I had a number of old people in my life who made it into their 80s or 90s quite healthy, only a couple of people who had something that struck them down earlier. The thing is, none of us saw their friends and family who died along the way. Now in my mid 30s, some folks who come to mind:

- My friend who was shot and killed a few weeks before graduating Virginia Tech (2007)
- My coworker, my age, who was shot and killed last year
- My MSF instructor, ironically killed on a motorcycle crash last year
- My next door neighbor, forced into retirement before 60, dead before 65
- My childhood next door neighbor, who had a stroke and died one day shortly before retirement
- A coworker at a former company, had a stroke and died in his mid 50s one day out of nowhere
- A friend who got stage 4 cancer, dead within a year, in her mid 40s
- A friend from high school, his heart decided to quit beating one day

Those are just a few people who come to mind.

As a species we tend to think that'll happen to "someone else." To some extent we have to, because otherwise we'll go through life worrying about everything. But every one of us is someone else's someone else.

 

[bnt83]

There’s some longevity in my family that I have to plan for...but there’s always the possibility that what I save is going to make my kids’ lives a little easier, which isn’t all bad, either.

I like that idea, but I think many people get sucked into blowing their entire fortune trying to fight health issues that ultimately defeats them. If one spose doesn't maybe the other does (blow the $).

 

[bnt83]

As a species we tend to think that'll happen to "someone else." To some extent we have to, because otherwise we'll go through life worrying about everything. But every one of us is someone else's someone else.

Friends of mine, oldest daughter, died in a car accident on the way to highschool. They are buried in debt from it and I think their next move is bankruptcy. They have 4 more kids yet, one still in diapers. The Dad turned 40 this year.

 

[old cfi]

None of us know how much longer we have and how many more healthy years we have.

Do what you want to do while you can do it.

Amen! Wish I had followed that advice 30 yrs ago. Now in my 7th decade with cancer getting the upper hand, I wish I had found a way to get that DC3 type rating I always dreamed about. It always was #1 on my bucket list and #2 was driving the Budweiser Clydesdale hitch. Too late for either now. Age and wisdom does wonders for hindsight.

 

[Skyrys62]

Man...talk about being torn, between this thread, and this one https://www.pilotsofamerica.com/community/threads/oh-the-joys-of-a-new-plane.114537/#post-2624072

 

[Ted]

Man...talk about being torn, between this thread, and this one https://www.pilotsofamerica.com/community/threads/oh-the-joys-of-a-new-plane.114537/#post-2624072

I've bought a lot of things, some of which have worked out better than others. While I've learned lessons from them, I've much more often regretted not buying something than buying something.

A friend of mine who passed away about 14 years ago (he never looked healthy, but had a heart failure in his sleep in his mid 60s) built what is arguably the best Jaguar XJ-S, with a twin-supercharged 6.0L V12. After he passed away the opportunity came up to buy it. Out of budget? Sure, but I could've made it work. That would've been a "keep forever" car, and was priced far, far, FAR below what he had in it. A great amount of sentimental value because of the mentor this man was to me, as well as the fact that it is an incredible car that I was fortunate enough to get to ride in as a teenager.

I had the opportunity, but didn't buy it because I justified that I shouldn't spend that kind of money on that car, and I was going to build my own.

I should've bought that car. I'm not sure if the opportunity will arise again.

 

[RyanB]

What saddens me are the people who terminate their lives at their own will.

An acquaintance that I went to HS with, committed suicide last year. Someone I would’ve never guessed to do such a thing. I get to thinking why and how someone could do that to themself, when so many people out there would love to have their life and would swap places in a heartbeat.

On the other hand, I too can count several who have passed away before their time.

One of my distant family members was diagnosed with ALS in ‘07 and she passed the first of January 2010. A school teacher her whole life, ate a vegetarian diet and exercised (ie., lived a healthy lifestyle) but she passed before she was able to enjoy her retirement.

My Dad’s uncle who passed away in June. Mid 60’s and healthy. Exercised regularly. He and his wife went down to Gulf Shores for a getaway and shortly after getting there he complained of being in pain and shortly after had a massive stroke and died. His wife drove home with him in an urn. Terrible ending to their vacation.

And a CFI who works at my flight club, who’s grand-daughter was killed in a car wreck just a couple of weeks ago. Very young (~12 yrs old). A life that ended way too early.

Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so as a few said above, I try to live my life doing what I like to do and try to do those things as much as possible. It’s a grim topic to discuss, but unfortunately it’s the reality.

 

[RyanB]

This also brings to mind what some of you have mentioned and what we’ve discussed before as a family.

Obviously we all need to be sensible about how we go about spending our money, but when it comes down to things that we can’t put a price on, like family vacations or creating memories, money doesn’t hold any value to that stuff.

An example was a few years back when we went to LA to visit my Aunt. What we didn’t realize was that it would be our last time with her before she was diagnosed with brain cancer and passed away. Sure the trip set us back a little bit financially, but we still talk about it to this day and the memories that we have of that trip. It was definitely one to remember.

 

[Ted]

This also brings to mind what some of you have mentioned and what we’ve discussed before as a family.

Obviously we all need to be sensible about how we go about spending our money, but when it comes down to things that we can’t put a price on, like family vacations or creating memories, money doesn’t hold any value to that stuff.

An example was a few years back when we went to LA to visit my Aunt. What we didn’t realize was that it would be our last time with her before she was diagnosed with brain cancer and passed away. Sure the trip set us back a little bit financially, but we still talk about it to this day and the memories that we have of that trip. It was definitely one to remember.

That's always a hard one, especially visiting people. I've only seen my father in person 4 times, and at 91 he's probably limited on remaining time. I haven't made much of an effort to see him, and have debated whether or not I should.

In the end I've decided not to bother unless the opportunity comes up. I made peace with the fact that he didn't want to be a man (in the John Wayne sense, not the Bruce Jenner sense). He's never made an effort to visit me, and it's more important that I do things with my family and people who are actually interested in spending time with me.

But we are trying to figure out a family getaway over Thanksgiving, and having a hard time figuring out where exactly to go and what to do.

 

[RyanB]

That's always a hard one, especially visiting people. I've only seen my father in person 4 times, and at 91 he's probably limited on remaining time. I haven't made much of an effort to see him, and have debated whether or not I should.

In the end I've decided not to bother unless the opportunity comes up. I made peace with the fact that he didn't want to be a man (in the John Wayne sense, not the Bruce Jenner sense). He's never made an effort to visit me, and it's more important that I do things with my family and people who are actually interested in spending time with me.

But we are trying to figure out a family getaway over Thanksgiving, and having a hard time figuring out where exactly to go and what to do.

I guess it all depends on the situation. For us, there wasn’t (and still isn’t) a dollar value that you could put on our last trip that we got to spend with her.

It gets you thinking of these wealthy folks who have loads of money and lots of toys in their garage and/or hangar, but are in very poor health. If you don’t have your health, you don’t have a thing.

 

[Skyrys62]

but when it comes down to things that we can’t put a price on, like family vacations or creating memories, money doesn’t hold any value to that stuff.

Totally agree.
We've had a few that were expensive, and I questioned the effort/money put forth. They are worth every bit to this day.

 

[CC268]

What saddens me are the people who terminate their lives at their own will.

An acquaintance that I went to HS with, committed suicide last year. Someone I would’ve never guessed to do such a thing. I get to thinking why and how someone could do that to themself, when so many people out there would love to have their life and would swap places in a heartbeat.

On the other hand, I too can count several who have passed away before their time.

One of my distant family members was diagnosed with ALS in ‘07 and she passed the first of January 2010. A school teacher her whole life, ate a vegetarian diet and exercised (ie., lived a healthy lifestyle) but she passed before she was able to enjoy her retirement.

My Dad’s uncle who passed away in June. Mid 60’s and healthy. Exercised regularly. He and his wife went down to Gulf Shores for a getaway and shortly after getting there he complained of being in pain and shortly after had a massive stroke and died. His wife drove home with him in an urn. Terrible ending to their vacation.

And a CFI who works at my flight club, who’s grand-daughter was killed in a car wreck just a couple of weeks ago. Very young (~12 yrs old). A life that ended way too early.

Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so as a few said above, I try to live my life doing what I like to do and try to do those things as much as possible. It’s a grim topic to discuss, but unfortunately it’s the reality.

Suicide isn't cut and dry, unfortunately. My wife has a very good friend who has severe clinical depression. She grew up in a VERY wealthy part of north Scottsdale. Her mom is a VP of marketing somewhere. Money has never been an issue for the family and she has lived a very good life as a whole. From the outside it looks great, but she has two major neurological genetic DNA mutations. She has found healthy ways to deal with it and lives a fairly normal life, but not all folks find their way out. Now...I suspect not everyone who commits suicide is suffering from actual physical neurological anomalies.

Unfortunately, as people always say, "life isn't fair". Some folks get lucky and some don't.

 

[Jim_CAK]

Amen! Wish I had followed that advice 30 yrs ago. Now in my 7th decade with cancer getting the upper hand, I wish I had found a way to get that DC3 type rating I always dreamed about. It always was #1 on my bucket list and #2 was driving the Budweiser Clydesdale hitch. Too late for either now. Age and wisdom does wonders for hindsight.

I did not feel right hitting the "like" button on your post. Good luck to you with your fight.

 

[old cfi]

Thanks, Jim. I totally understand. Death is a subject most people don't want to ever discuss but unfortunately it is the only thing we all are guaranteed sometime in our life. I've lost family the hard way, brother committed suicide, and others the "normal" way. Never easy. Up until 6 yrs ago I had always enjoyed good health. Did many things and only regret not completing "the bucket list." No complaints. Taught a lot of people to fly. Had good friends both human and animal. We can let life pass us by or jump in and enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.

 

[OkieFlyer]

There’s a lot of folks out there who would give anything to live an independent healthy life like we all do each day. It’s easy to take such a thing for granted.

My coworker’s sister was diagnosed with ALS about a year or so ago. Before she left this afternoon her brother in law sent her a text and said the nurse had been by their house and said her sister is showing signs that she’s beginning to shut down and she may not make it to Christmas. In 2010 we lost a family member to ALS, so I know the heartache she and her family are going through.

Not all of us share the same faith, but try to keep in mind the simple things in life that we get to enjoy everyday without a thought. A lot of people aren’t so lucky.

Just buried my 46 year old cousin last week due to ALS. He went from happy and healthy, to crippled, to completely paralyzed, to dead in a year. It's such an ugly disease. It just sucks.

 

[RyanB]

Just buried my 46 year old cousin last week due to ALS. He went from happy and healthy, to crippled, to completely paralyzed, to dead in a year. It's such an ugly disease. It just sucks.

Ugh, I’m very sorry to hear this. It is terrible!

 

[frfly172]

When trying to decide to fly or not,on any given day,just ask yourself ,how many good saturdays do I have left. Flying will win out.

 

[Ted]

When trying to decide to fly or not,on any given day,just ask yourself ,how many good saturdays do I have left. Flying will win out.

See my other thread on what are you most passionate about.