My Nightmare Thread From Hell

Jim Rosenow

Jim Rosenow

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Jim Rosenow
I wanna nightmare thread too!!! Txflyer says we can all have one!!

I had polio when I was 5 years old, and watched my hospital room-mate die of it. Had foot-long needles stuck in my spine regularly, and spent bunches of time in an iron lung. They didn't know what they were doing with polio at that point, so we were guinea pigs for new procedures. Not all of them went well, and on occasion there are still issues.

Now that I'm retired and have some time, I'm thinking of suing those nasty people at the hospital for pain and suffering. I'm also suing both the States of IL and IA, who didn't put a 5-year-old boy on disability from the git-go. I could still be collecting $$$ and sitting on my azz. Never mind that I turned out 6'-4" and 235#...just not fair! I'm also going to put together a list of the attorneys I dealt with thru my career (for individual lawsuits)...None of of them offered any pro bono help, and I'm pretty sure they could afford it, had they known anything about it. Any excuse, of course.

I talked to the lady at the DOT when I got my drivers license renewed, and she's pretty sure I can do all this. She gave me an award that said I was a good driver, so I will add that to the docket first thing. If all these government people are like her, I'll do OK....stupid biddy didn't even notice I stole her pin from the desk.

She said I need someone with a history of long-term inaction, multiple mistakes and pernicious prevarication to help me. I will pay 20% of anything I get as a settlement, but you'll have to front me the money to sue. I'll be pretty good at sewering by then, so plan to get in line and sue me to get yours when it's over.

I suspect that some may take offense, and that's fine as this is my last post to this thread...maybe...or not, but probably. OH...and you're all azzhOles, too, but don't forget to hit my go-futz-me page, and then come back here. I need a high thread count so my shyster lawyer knows I'm serious.

I remain, firmly tongue in cheek....and asbestos underwear on.

Jim

PS- ...and yes, the polio part is 100% truth. Point being that none of us has escaped life unscathed.
 
Wiping out Polio was one of the signature accomplishments of the US research community. Bad stuff. It wasn't that no one knew what they were doing, its just that when nerves start dying there's only so much you can do. One of my poker friends in DC was a sufferer as a kid, walks with a cane and brace to this day.

Sad thing is there's a huge outbreak in Pakistan. Because it was reported that we used a doctor to track down Osama bin Laden, no one there trusts doctors. They won't take the vaccine and the virus is running rampant. Real shame.
 
On a serious note, I'm glad to hear you survived polio. Truly awful, and I agree with Steingar that effectively eliminating it was one of the best success stories of the scientific community.
 
I'm old enough to remember there were still a few cases when I was a kid. A girl across the street from me died from it, I can barely remember when that happened so I must have been very early grade school or even Kindergarden? There were some serious scares in whole neighborhoods when an outbreak happened.
 
My aunt's parents built a tennis court so their kids would have something that would theoretically distract them from wanting to use a pool during the polio scare. Supposedly polio transmitted more easily in water.
 
I hope I didn't make anyone uncomfortable mixing medicine and sarcasm, as that was not my intention. Possibly not my best of choices.

Thank you all for the kind words. I was one of the lucky ones regarding polio. It was a long road, but I had an almost full recovery and continue to live a full, and blessed, life.

Having seen the devastation polio is capable of, the outbreak in Pakistan scares me to death.

I am living proof that nothing is as bad as it may seem, and that no one is the center of the universe.

Jim
 
The outbreak in Pakistan scares me because I don't think anyone here is vaccinated against polio anymore. I know I was among the last of children vaccinated against smallpox. I joke with my students that if there's ever a smallpox outbreak I'll live but they won't.

Then again, the depth of anti-vaccination here is amazing. We're having regular outbreaks of diseases for which safe vaccines have existed for decades.
 
Jim Rosenow said:
Now that I'm retired and have some time, I'm thinking of suing those nasty people at the hospital for pain and suffering. I'm also suing both the States of IL and IA, who didn't put a 5-year-old boy on disability from the git-go. I could still be collecting $$$ and sitting on my azz. Never mind that I turned out 6'-4" and 235#...just not fair! I'm also going to put together a list of the attorneys I dealt with thru my career (for individual lawsuits)...None of of them offered any pro bono help, and I'm pretty sure they could afford it, had they known anything about it. Any excuse, of course.

I talked to the lady at the DOT when I got my drivers license renewed, and she's pretty sure I can do all this. She gave me an award that said I was a good driver, so I will add that to the docket first thing. If all these government people are like her, I'll do OK....stupid biddy didn't even notice I stole her pin from the desk.

She said I need someone with a history of long-term inaction, multiple mistakes and pernicious prevarication to help me. I will pay 20% of anything I get as a settlement, but you'll have to front me the money to sue. I'll be pretty good at sewering by then, so plan to get in line and sue me to get yours when it's over.

I suspect that some may take offense, and that's fine as this is my last post to this thread...maybe...or not, but probably. OH...and you're all azzhOles, too, but don't forget to hit my go-futz-me page, and then come back here. I need a high thread count so my shyster lawyer knows I'm serious.
Click to expand...

Dear Jim,

We can't help you unless you provide your full name, the name of your father, your lawyer(s) and your mother's maiden.

You are obviously a victim of life and must be compensated heavily for it. Are you working? If so, you must stop immediately and start mooching off the government. (Just be careful to not be so disabled that you can't pass your FAA medical, though).

The big question is, what do you need from us? I'm sure you can raise at least $300,000 from the rich, kind-hearted saps here through your Go Fund Me page. Make sure to leave lots of not-so-subtle hints that you need help paying for your lawyer(s), so that some people will donate to you privately as well. (BTW, how are those two planes you own doing? Good thing flying and owning planes are so cheap, or else some folks here might think you are full of it.!!)

I wish you all the best. Stick it to the man, you poor victim.

Warmly,
The B!tch.


P.S. On a serious note - I am sorry about your scare with polio. That must have been terrible to go through... and losing your hospital roommate to it too... at such a young age :(
 
Cajun_Flyer said:
P.S. On a serious note - I am sorry about your scare with polio. That must have been terrible to go through... and losing your hospital roommate to it too... at such a young age :(
Click to expand...

Thank, you, ma'am! Good comes from everything, tho. My very first airplane ride was when I left the University of Iowa Hospitals for home. Ol' Doc Manchester, our family doctor, had a 195. I got to fly home on a moonlight night, behind a round engine, with my nose against the window the whole way. I've never forgotten it!!

Jim
 
best I ever got from a pediatrician was a lollipop...
 
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Kids are still vaccinated against polio. It is on the CDC schedule.
 
Why do baby goats need to be vaccinated for polio?
 
I thought we only cared if they were gruff.
 
040202_3815.jpg


Clay Henry - Famous Beer-Drinking Goat in Terlingua, Texas.

These days, Clay Henry the goat is a mounted display on a saloon dance floor. But way back in 1992,he was a living suds-glugging marvel: Go to The Trading Post in Lajitas, a town of about 100 along the Rio Grande River near Big Bend National Park, and get some long neck beers. Buy them, then feed them to Clay Henry, the beer-drinking goat.

People come from all over to stand outside Clay Henry's pen and feed him beers all day long. There is no other good reason to be in Lajitas. Once you pop the cap, Clay will do the rest. As Clay's drinking buddies -- smaller goats who cannot hold the bottle by themselves -- clamor about begging swigs, Clay -- a strapping black mountain goat -- takes the bottle from you, teeth gripping the glass. He rocks his head backward and chugs. When it is empty, Clay spits the bottle aside. Your turn is over. Clay moves down the fence, where the next tourist will feed him the next beer.

Actually, the goat knocking them back these days is Clay Henry, Junior. His father, Clay Henry, Sr. was the original beer-drinking goat. Clay Pere was much beloved in Lajitas for increasing tourism -- and got elected mayor in 1986. Visitors were known to bring a case and go toe to hoove with him. Posters and postcards of a triumphant Clay Henry, Sr. in mid-guzzle are still for sale at local locations. Tough shoes for a kid to fill.

Bill Valentine, the man who runs The Trading Post, stands behind the cash register and tells the shocking story of Clay, Sr's. death in 1992. "Clay, Sr. and Clay, Jr. both got soused in the same pen during rutting season. Clay, Jr. killed his father in a drunken brawl over a female." Clay Henry, Jr. drinks to forget. Get there in the morning. By mid-afternoon Clay, Jr. -- pen littered with empties -- is clearly adrift in Sot's Bay. After staggering over to his salt lick and working it furiously, he'll drop to all four knees and his minus-sign-irised eyes will roll back in his head. He's had it.

Outside, the other goats finally get their fill from beers originally purchased for Clay, Jr. Inside, Valentine -- the stuffed countenance of Clay, Sr. watching over him -- shakes his head. "Clay, Sr. used to drink as many as people would feed him." "Clay, Jr.," he says, resigned, "isn't the goat his father was."

May 2011: While goats no longer drink beer in Lajitas, the stuffed carcass of Clay Henry the goat is on display over at the Terlingua Trading Post.

November 2003: The Trading Post has reopened after six months of renovations by Austin businessman Steve Smith, who bought the entire town in an auction. He's added a wine and espresso bar and other niceties as part of an overhaul of the Lajitas into a retreat for the rich. But Clay Henry III still chugs beers to the delight of visitors...

August 2002: Beer drinking goat castrated by jealous neighbor! Clay Henry III, beer drinking goat and mayor of the west Texas border town of Lajitas, was attacked by local Jim Bob Hargrove and castrated. Hargrove committed the heinous deed after seeing the goat drinking beer on a Sunday, when the area's blue laws prevent the sale of alcohol to humans. Tourists had apparently been feeding Clay Henry his usual staple of Lone Star longnecks, and Hargrove threatened to castrate the goat, according to eyewitnesses. The mayor was found lying next to his testicles on Monday, Aug. 5. Ranchers sutured his wounds, and Clay was up slugging down cold ones soon after. Hargrove faces charges of animal cruelty.

1996: Clay Jr. has silenced the skeptics; he now drinks 35-40 beers a day. He had a bit role in The Streets of Larado television series, and was filmed for a Sally Jesse Raphael segment in 1995. Clay Sr. lived to be 22, so The Trading Post expects Clay Jr. to be around for a while. "Beer kills you, but it does it slow." - See more at: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2227#sthash.bJK42VHI.dpuf
 
Texans are apparently easily entertained. My boy dog Kurzon will happily drink all the beer I give him. Weighing in at a whole 18 pounds he can't handle much, though.
 
Jim Rosenow said:
I wanna nightmare thread too!!! Txflyer says we can all have one!!

I had polio when I was 5 years old, and watched my hospital room-mate die of it. Had foot-long needles stuck in my spine regularly, and spent bunches of time in an iron lung. They didn't know what they were doing with polio at that point, so we were guinea pigs for new procedures. Not all of them went well, and on occasion there are still issues.

Now that I'm retired and have some time, I'm thinking of suing those nasty people at the hospital for pain and suffering. I'm also suing both the States of IL and IA, who didn't put a 5-year-old boy on disability from the git-go. I could still be collecting $$$ and sitting on my azz. Never mind that I turned out 6'-4" and 235#...just not fair! I'm also going to put together a list of the attorneys I dealt with thru my career (for individual lawsuits)...None of of them offered any pro bono help, and I'm pretty sure they could afford it, had they known anything about it. Any excuse, of course.

I talked to the lady at the DOT when I got my drivers license renewed, and she's pretty sure I can do all this. She gave me an award that said I was a good driver, so I will add that to the docket first thing. If all these government people are like her, I'll do OK....stupid biddy didn't even notice I stole her pin from the desk.

She said I need someone with a history of long-term inaction, multiple mistakes and pernicious prevarication to help me. I will pay 20% of anything I get as a settlement, but you'll have to front me the money to sue. I'll be pretty good at sewering by then, so plan to get in line and sue me to get yours when it's over.

I suspect that some may take offense, and that's fine as this is my last post to this thread...maybe...or not, but probably. OH...and you're all azzhOles, too, but don't forget to hit my go-futz-me page, and then come back here. I need a high thread count so my shyster lawyer knows I'm serious.

I remain, firmly tongue in cheek....and asbestos underwear on.

Jim

PS- ...and yes, the polio part is 100% truth. Point being that none of us has escaped life unscathed.
Click to expand...

Loving that "Like" button!

P.S. - For maximum effectiveness, I think you need to lengthen your list of people who have wronged you! ;)
 
Is Ben getting vaccinated for inflewenza?
 
This is an interesting thread, because it got me to thinking. I looked back at the sixty-five years of my life, trying to find a time that I was mistreated, maltreated, or untreated, and I could not come up with anything worth noting. Unless getting poor service at a restaurant counts. Not that there has never been any challenges in my life, just that I have never been victimized by my circumstances.
 
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Maxmosbey said:
This is an interesting thread, because it got me to thinking. I looked back at the sixty-five years of my life, trying to find a time that I was mistreated, maltreated, or untreated, and I could not come up with anything worth noting. Unless getting poor service at a restaurant counts. Not that there has never been any challenges in my life, just that I have never been victimized by my circumstances.
Click to expand...

I am happy that we share the fact we were never mistreated, maltreated, or untreated, Max. At the risk of belaboring my original point, it was that most of us have things we could CLAIM were mistreatment, maltreatment, or untreatedment (look, I made up a new word!) if our mind-set was to place blame externally for events in our lives. At the risk of pointing fingers to other threads, I'll leave it at that. Thanks!

Jim
 
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