Frank Browne
Final Approach
From my inbox today.....
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an
artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are
terrifically innovative:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people
that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
12. Glibido: All talk and no action.
13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And
The #1 pick:
17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an @**hole.
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to
take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,subtracting, or
changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an
artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are
terrifically innovative:
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people
that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer,
unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.
8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got
extra credit.)
10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth
explodes and it's, like, a serious bummer.
11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
12. Glibido: All talk and no action.
13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem
smarter when they come at you rapidly.
14. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
And
The #1 pick:
17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an @**hole.
