Let's say you're walking down the side of the road and there is this cheeseburger...

What do you do if you find an apparently fresh cheeseburger on the side of the road?

  • Call 911

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Move on, nothing to see here

    Votes: 7 23.3%

  • Eat it, but for god's sake don't brag about it on the Internet

    Votes: 4 13.3%

  • Double back and look for fries

    Votes: 2 6.7%

  • Leave it for the next guy

    Votes: 7 23.3%

  • Pocket it and toss it in the garbage later

    Votes: 1 3.3%

  • Give it to your wife or girlfriend

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Give half to your wife, and the other half to your girlfriend

    Votes: 1 3.3%

  • It's a stupid question because that never happens to me

    Votes: 1 3.3%

  • Wonder how it got to that side of the road, given that McDonald's is in the other direction

    Votes: 7 23.3%
  • Total voters
    30
Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

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Snorting his way across the USA
IMG_3124.JPG Yeah, or maybe you were riding, and not walking, but let's say that, for whatever reason, you were traveling down a two-lane road sort of in the sticks but between two 'burbs, and there it is, on the shoulder, a still-warm, wrapped up double cheeseburger, that has, by all appearances, been unopened, as if someone had just chucked it.

I mean this is hypothetical, and had that happened to me, I wouldn't say what I would have done, because in that hypothetical situation, as I (hypothetically) had already eaten at the burger place anyway, but admittedly, I was still slightly hungry. Or, I should say, would have been. Just asking what you would do.

Let's say you thoroughly checked it out and it was the real deal. I'm not saying that you would, but let's say you did, and it was. Right.
 
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I'd probably be hungry so I'd woof it down before anyone saw me. Especially Sac 'cause he'd tell y'all on POA.
 
I was done eating it before I finished reading the title of this thread. Hypothetically, of course.
 
Bored perhaps, hungry, no. Hypothetically, of course.
 
I would make a satirical video about the burger.
Then I would see if I could get to you via small GA trips using multiple pilots.
 
It would be eaten by the time it reached Georgia.
 
Has it been there for more than 5 seconds? That IS the rule ya know......
 
Probably more than five seconds, but probably not more than five minutes.
 
One point in my life, not a time I want to remember, I would have eaten it on the spot and be grateful for it.
 
In SERE school they said to give it a good shake. Whatever falls to the ground stays there. The rest you can eat. That was some of the best half of a rabbit I ever had.
 
I don't know whether to look for theory in the road, or just say "XYZZY"....
 
Hot sauce, always have a bottle with ya, works wonders.
 
If it's a McD's cheeseburger and nobody picks it up, it'll still be "fresh" a year from now.
 
I'd start complaining that they didn't leave a frosty beverage to wash it down with

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I'd approach it cautiously... nibble... back up slowly... nibble again... then take a chomp... and instantly be hurtled straight up towards the sky, with a hook protruding from my cheek.

I imagine that's what fish must tell other fish. "Dude, I was just sitting there, and a perfectly good warm wormburger just appeared in front of me."
 
My plan to Rufie Sac failed. Damn. And here I wanted to drag him back to the barn and torture out of him why he started that damned neverending monkey transport thing. Six freaking months! Waterboarding is too nice.

I thought for sure a nice warm wrapped up cheeseburger would do it! I couldn't just leave this thing laying in the sidewalk wrapped in lettuce!
 
I'd take a better friggin' close up picture so I could see what the heck it was.
 
I knew some guys in college who like to play the 'poo dollar' game. They would take a $1 bill and place some....foul substance... on it and then leave it on the sidewalk in front of their apartment complex. They would wait for a passerby to pick it up, yell 'poo dollar' and then enjoy the sophomoric hilarity that would ensue as the poor unsuspecting soul realized their reversal of fortune.

I do not pick up gifts from the street.
 
Clearly that raccoon that @mulligan posted ate such a cheeseburger and paid dearly for it...I'll pass on any food that's randomly lying around on the road thanks :)
 
Bill Jennings said:
I'd take a better friggin' close up picture so I could see what the heck it was.
Click to expand...

Actually I did, or so I thought. I must not have pushed the button, because the photo didn't get stored.
 
I'd search YouTube for videos of "Guy eats hamburger he found on side of road".
 
Negative on the youtube search. Just some guy eating a burger in his car. Presumably parked on the side of the road. And you know how I feel about eating inside of the car.

Oh, no. You don't. I posted that on the PB. Well, suffice to say, I don't like it.
 
I chit you not......walking to the car at lunch I found this on Monday:
 

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mscard88 said:
Well hell, that's edible. It's sealed. Save a few bucks on lunch today.
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It was tuna and steamy inside the bag. I'd rather chance it with a gas station sandwich instead.
 
Unit74 said:
It was tuna and steamy inside the bag. I'd rather chance it with a gas station sandwich instead.
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Oh, yeah but how do you know how long it's been there, guess it might be a little runny though. Guess it depends how hungry you are, and whether there's a gas station nearby. ;)
 
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