Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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Christmas gift ideas? ... for those who don't know their Right from Left :)

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A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant; and, there was a gorgeous

redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he

sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.


Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket

towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and

handed it back.


'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in

place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'


They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the

theater followed by drinks.. They talked, they laughed, she shared her

deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.


After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her

place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful,

wonderful time.


The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy

was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!


'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every

guy you meet?'


"No," she replies. "You're the first man who happened to catch my eye."
 
Seen my new neighbor in his yard with the dog and decided to go over and introduce myself. Learned his name was Jimmy and he appeard to be a likable kind of fella. I asked him if his dog would bite and he said "no." As we were talking the dog came walking by and I reached over to pat him on the head. He bit the snot out of me!

"Hey man" I screamed, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" "Well" Jimmy said, "that there ain't my dog!"
 
I always keep some "stimulant" handy in case I see a snake.
Also, I always keep a snake handy...

(stolen from W.C. Fields)
 
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