Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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What do you call a cuban guy with only one leg? Roberto.
What do you call a cuban guy whose car was stolen? Carlos.
What do you call 4 cuban guys drowning? Cuatro cinco.
(I was born in havana)
 
Once there was a mole family, papa mole, mama mole and little baby mole. One day they decided to go out on a vacation and set out tunneling just under the surface, papa mole in the front, mama mole following behind and baby mole bringing up the rear.

But being moles, they couldn’t see too well and didn’t really know what direction they were going, so pretty soon papa mole had run into a building foundation. Well, he stopped and mama mole tunneled right up beside. But poor baby mole was new to this and piled into the back of them.

Papa mole stuck his nose up out of the ground and sniffed the way and sniffed that way and said “oh, I know where we are. I smell pancakes, this is the pancake house”. And mama mole stuck her nose up and said “oh, yes, certainly that smells like pancakes”. Then little baby mole, stuck back in the tunnel, said “I don’t know, I don’t smell pancakes. It smells like molasses to me.”
 
Wife and I were at our 50th class reunion and I kept looking at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat a nearby table.
My wife asked if I knew her.
Yep,,, She's my old girlfriend. I heard she took to drinking right after we split up so many years ago and hasn't been sober since.
My God, said my wife,,, who would think a person could go on celebrating that long ?
______
 
pmanton said:
Wife and I were at our 50th class reunion and I kept looking at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat a nearby table.
My wife asked if I knew her.
Yep,,, She's my old girlfriend. I heard she took to drinking right after we split up so many years ago and hasn't been sober since.
My God, said my wife,,, who would think a person could go on celebrating that long ?
______
Click to expand...
And that's when the fight started...
 
An recently retired couple was sitting on the porch one afternoon having a glass of wine before dinner. The woman sighs and woefully says, "Sweetie, I love you so much. I could not live without you". The man says teasingly, "Honey, is that you talking or the wine talking?" The woman looks up, a little irritated and says, "That is me talking to the wine."

It's not friday yet, hopefully I'll have a better one tomorrow ;)
 
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