I Reported Someone To The FAA (A Satire)

Stingray Don

Stingray Don

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Stingray Don
So there is this guy I know online, let’s call him Tryan Burner. Tryan is one of the cool kids on my aviation boards. He is funnier and more entertaining than me, which really upsets me. Worst of all, he flies a nicer and faster plane than I do. He is my nemesis. Needless to say, I must take him down! So I called up the FAA and...

What’s that?

I gotta go. My wife says there’s an Adam Henderson on the phone for me, and he sounds really steamed. Wonder what that’s all about.
 
Stingray Don said:
Worst of all, he flies a nicer and faster plane than I do. He is my nemesis.
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Is you plane up on Jackstands and mouse infested? The Tryan I know that flies owns a Truman hunk of garbage and his dad actually owns a Rirrus, which was named for the pompous Adam Henry’s that fly them. They even have a side stick so holding a Zima, including the pinky finger sticking out, is encouraged while the plane actually flies, not them.
 
Unit74 said:
Is you plane up on Jackstands and mouse infested?
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Stingray accurately said FLIES, not owns. Not everyone can own planes faster and more expensive than their father's. I do, since my father is dead and never owned a plane. I can out run his in an ultralight.
 
Ravioli said:
Stingray accurately said FLIES, not owns. Not everyone can own planes faster and more expensive than their father's. I do, since my father is dead and never owned a plane. I can out run his in an ultralight.
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Why you getting serious in a satire post.... sh.... man.... lighten up Francis.
 
Mr. Stingray, this is Adam “Rock The Kilt” Henderson. Thank you for reporting Tryan Burner’s post. We take these matters seriously, much like we take seriously your real time reporting for FAA* (Fake Accusation and Awareness) action on active matters. We have a number for you to call...

(*The FAA is not a real agency, and any acronyms presented that are similar to an actual government agency is purely and inexplicably coincidental. The reference to Mr. “Rock The Kilt” or Mr. Adam Henderson is purely fiction and such names were created for story line purposes. Any similarity in names to people, living, dead, or otherwise, is purely coincidental and unintentional as far as you know. For the avoidance of doubt, this post is made in satire and is fully copyrighted and may not be reproduced, referenced, or otherwise used by any government entity for any purpose whatsoever.)
 
Unit74 said:
Why you getting serious in a satire post.... sh.... man.... lighten up Francis.
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If I were to really get serious, I'd ask if the post was reported to FaceBook! Now that would have some serious long term implications for our buddy.
 
...had this been posted on FB? We need more to read this!!!;)
 
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