I have a weird question

O

onwards

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onwards
Hey, everyone, been a while.

Honestly, I debated myself quite a bit before deciding to come back and ask this, but I can't think of any other place where I could.

I've now amassed more than 400 hours, done some more instrument training (and deserted it again - don't know why I can't quite get myself to finish it, but anyway), some very cool cross-country flights, and this and that and the other. Still learning every time I go up. Still maintaining my C medical as a type-1 diabetic (even though I could default to the driver's license one, I like the extra flexibility).

Boy, am I good at avoiding the subject, or what? but it really is the strangest question.

OK, here goes. Courage, boy.

Has anyone here developed a fear of flying while, well, flying?

I really can't explain it. Somehow, somewhere, along the way, I seem to have picked up and am faced with the absolutely odd sensation of being completely effing scared of things going wrong. Honestly, looking back at my 8-year flying career so far, I've been in some pretty hairy situations, and done some admittedly rather stupid things - but I'd never been afraid before.

Now it's like every little thing, I doubletriplecheck. Can only relax in stable smooth air. Gusty takeoff? oh boy, am I super conscious of every little movement. Tricky landing? you betcha. Funny thing is, I am definitely doing all of the difficult things better than ever before: I am finally "wearing the plane" like my instructor used to say way back when. I flew from KSEZ to KCCR Sunday in seriously windy choppy weather, and still managed to avoid going even 100ft up or down (or 2deg right or left) for hours, even as I was dancing on the controls almost the whole time to compensate - it's like my brain is sensing where the plane is about to go and correct in advance without thinking about it.

In other words, I'd expect my confidence to grow, but instead, I'm constantly on the alert for what can go wrong next. Nervous as heck.

It's really, really weird.

Has anyone else gone through a phase like this? what am I supposed to do? how do I get over it? what's going on? truth is I won't even take off anymore in situations that in the past I wouldn't think twice about.

What's going on?

Help!
 
Go get some aerobatic and advanced spin training in a Pitts. After you do that you will be more comfortable and flying a regular ole airplane cross country is easy :)
 
I don't know your age but I started flying over 40 years ago when I was still a teenager. I knew no fear when it came to flying airplanes. I have most of the ratings available & have filled many a logbook since then.

I flew very little from 1994 to 2013. Divorces (yes, plural), kids college expenses were many of the reasons.

In 2014, I decided to get with it again. I got my medical, got a flight review & was flying again.

In my youth I mostly flew newer airplanes. I got my PPL in a brand new 172 with less than 100 hours TT. I had great trust in modern engineering & knew if you stayed within the normal flight envelope of the airplane all was well.

Now that I'm older, & had a few close calls (not in aviation) I'm a bit more cautious. I look out at the struts on my 1957 Skylane in turbulence & wonder just how well the airframe has weathered the years. I have a natural fear of heights so if I dwell on that I can sometimes get a bit anxious.

I think your concerns are normal. Last weekend, one of the tow pilots that works for me said, " Prop planes sometimes make me nervous, I don't feel any nervousness while flying the 737 in my real job".

Statistics are statistics. Big planes are safer.

I still love to fly regardless!
 
saddletramp said:
I don't know your age but I started flying over 40 years ago when I was still a teenager. I knew no fear when it came to flying airplanes. I have most of the ratings available & have filled many a logbook since then.

I flew very little from 1994 to 2013. Divorces (yes, plural), kids college expenses were many of the reasons.

In 2014, I decided to get with it again. I got my medical, got a flight review & was flying again.

In my youth I mostly flew newer airplanes. I got my PPL in a brand new 172 with less than 100 hours TT. I had great trust in modern engineering & knew if you stayed within the normal flight envelope of the airplane all was well.

Now that I'm older, & had a few close calls (not in aviation) I'm a bit more cautious. I look out at the struts on my 1957 Skylane in turbulence & wonder just how well the airframe has weathered the years. I have a natural fear of heights so if I dwell on that I can sometimes get a bit anxious.

I think your concerns are normal. Last weekend, one of the tow pilots that works for me said, " Prop planes sometimes make me nervous, I don't feel any nervousness while flying the 737 in my real job".

Statistics are statistics. Big planes are safer.

I still love to fly regardless!
Click to expand...

I am really comfortable flying all the small planes I fly. I am scared to death of big jets. I just hate em!
My son has flown everything with me since he was a baby... Pitts, Christen Eagles, Bonanza's, Cessna's, Breezy etc.
He will not step foot on a airliner or fly with anyone except me in a small plane. LOL!
 
onwards said:
Has anyone else gone through a phase like this?
Click to expand...
I took a 10 year break but now fly about 130 hrs per year.. I wouldn't call it "scared" but I'm much more vigilant now. I also find fear in general to be a positive feedback loop.. you have to block it, because once you give it a little it exponentially gets worse. Simple advice? Focus on mission and don't stare out at that 60 year old fatigued piece of metal!

saddletramp said:
Statistics are statistics. Big planes are safer.
Click to expand...
True.. but stats aren't facts or a predictor, they're just a mathematical depiction of a set of events, from which we can make some reasonable assumptions with a certain confidence. Big planes, at least in the developed world, are safer largely because the human element is heavily standardized. When was the last time a US carrier crashed for just poor piloting, Colgan? If you take the human out then big jets empirically have a much higher chance of something breaking simply because of their sheer complexity. There is redundancy, but systems fail and forced landings and cancelled or delayed bflights are relatively common, all things considered. In most GA piston planes the mechanics are bone simple. Crazy basic mechanical engine with some cables and a set of wings. Maybe I'm an outlier, but I'm far more at ease in the Cirrus, or really any GA, than in a commercial jet strictly because I'm the only real variable, so it's up to me to make it as safe as I want it

pigpenracing said:
I am scared to death of big jets
Click to expand...
I wouldn't say I'm scared to death, but I hear ya. I feel much more at home in GA
 
I've got close to the same number of hours, recently got my instrument rating. I frequently get anxious before flights, worrying I've made or will make a mistake, worrying about just how safe this machine that's older than I am really is.

Often in the air during cruise I'll start wondering if something on the plane is going to fail this time, get uncomfortable in turbulence, etc. I recently lost my vacuum system in flight, which wasn't a big deal since I was in clear weather so I continued on home. I will admit I had a worry in the back of my mind- why did it fail? Is there any way failed vaccum pump parts could end up in the engine and cause a bigger problem? I didn't think it could but you worry about these things when you can't check(it was fine).

Funny thing I've noticed though I never have nerves when I'm busy... if I'm talking to ATC or setting up to land or flying an approach or something I'm just too focused on what I'm doing to get nervous about anything.

I don't think a healthy amount of fear is a bad thing, as long as it doesn't distract you from what you need to be paying attention to and keeps you playing things safe it's probably a good thing.
 
onwards said:
I really can't explain it. Somehow, somewhere, along the way, I seem to have picked up and am faced with the absolutely odd sensation of being completely effing scared of things going wrong. Honestly, looking back at my 8-year flying career so far, I've been in some pretty hairy situations, and done some admittedly rather stupid things - but I'd never been afraid before.
Click to expand...
Part of the reason I got out of professional flying and stopped flying all together for many years was because I got to the point where I no longer got scared. Without that fear, it became very hard to know where the edge of the envelope was and I became concerned that if I kept doing what I'd been doing I would end up pushing too far one day. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to find a solution for what's troubling you, but on some level fear is a good thing in aviation.
 
A pilot can’t control everything. He can only control his emotion and the airplane. The rest is out of your hands. When you come to accept that you’ll find some inner peace or whatever you want to call it. An instructor told me something a long time ago that I still reflect on occasionally while flying. You won’t always be comfortable in an airplane but you always need to be competent flying it. When I think about that it helps me focus on the task.
 
I have no idea, but was wondering. Is it at all possible your growing competence is the source of this? I'm still a student, and I am maybe in some ways "blessed" with ignorance about some of the points of failure that may happen. I could imagine even after getting your license (cert) maybe one ignores or even a little in denial that bad things can happen.
So you get better, and better at the maneuvers and have more control, and maybe it opened you up to ALL the possible things that you may not be able to control even as a better pilot?

Does this feel like a premonition? Like a dark cloud hanging over you, an imminent doom thing, or more like "what the hell, man wasn't really made to fly, this is unatural"?

You mention "wearing the plane" as your old instructor called it, it's just a thought but mentioning that, could it be that you accepted the risks when you were still learning, expecting that when you finally got to that pinnacle of your instructor, you'd be "safe" and not have to be as vigilant but when you got there, find out it's still vigilance needed?

I'm just shooting in the dark here. I grew up with a father that was a pilot. As a teen I used to have a recurring dream of being a great mathematician (I'm nowhere close to it in real life) flying with my dad, doodling and coming up with mathematical proof that airplanes could not fly, as we started dropping like a brick. Because of my father, who in my eyes as a kid he knew everything and could to it all, I always felt safe in airplanes. Now as a student, it's wearing off for me a little, which is good, but I'm no where near as experinced as you are. so with me it is just common sense to fear a bit. But not a lot as that can make me slow to react.

Can you describe the fear any more detailed? Loss of control, wings falling off, etc.? Things in your control or out of it?
 
My wife was afraid of flying (even commercially) prior to starting lessons. We have "adjusted" our attitudes over flying over time. Initially, she thought me getting my instrument rating was going to greatly improve our dispatch rate, but she decided she doesn't much like flying in the clouds. I have my own revised idea of minimums based on where I'm flying and in light of previous mechanical failures.
 
not a fear but I still do get a little anxious, no, concerned, no, maybe 'focused anticipation', like an athlete just before a competition. but that to me is a good thing. as soon as I get that feeling it's an instant reminder not to get complacent.
when I was training I'd chair fly and also 'visualize' every move of a flight. I'm taking a short hop tomorrow morning that I shouldn't really even have to think twice about. I found myself doing the visualization thing the other day and thought ok, this level of 'concern', or preflight planning, anxious/concerned/focused anticipation, whatever you want to call it, is a good thing (for me, you might not do this).
 
onwards said:
Hey, everyone, been a while.

Honestly, I debated myself quite a bit before deciding to come back and ask this, but I can't think of any other place where I could.

I've now amassed more than 400 hours, done some more instrument training (and deserted it again - don't know why I can't quite get myself to finish it, but anyway), some very cool cross-country flights, and this and that and the other. Still learning every time I go up. Still maintaining my C medical as a type-1 diabetic (even though I could default to the driver's license one, I like the extra flexibility).

Boy, am I good at avoiding the subject, or what? but it really is the strangest question.

OK, here goes. Courage, boy.

Has anyone here developed a fear of flying while, well, flying?

I really can't explain it. Somehow, somewhere, along the way, I seem to have picked up and am faced with the absolutely odd sensation of being completely effing scared of things going wrong. Honestly, looking back at my 8-year flying career so far, I've been in some pretty hairy situations, and done some admittedly rather stupid things - but I'd never been afraid before.

Now it's like every little thing, I doubletriplecheck. Can only relax in stable smooth air. Gusty takeoff? oh boy, am I super conscious of every little movement. Tricky landing? you betcha. Funny thing is, I am definitely doing all of the difficult things better than ever before: I am finally "wearing the plane" like my instructor used to say way back when. I flew from KSEZ to KCCR Sunday in seriously windy choppy weather, and still managed to avoid going even 100ft up or down (or 2deg right or left) for hours, even as I was dancing on the controls almost the whole time to compensate - it's like my brain is sensing where the plane is about to go and correct in advance without thinking about it.

In other words, I'd expect my confidence to grow, but instead, I'm constantly on the alert for what can go wrong next. Nervous as heck.

It's really, really weird.

Has anyone else gone through a phase like this? what am I supposed to do? how do I get over it? what's going on? truth is I won't even take off anymore in situations that in the past I wouldn't think twice about.

What's going on?

Help!
Click to expand...

Maybe it’s forumitis. Do you think it kinda started around a time when you had been reading about accidents
 
onwards said:
Hey, everyone, been a while.

Honestly, I debated myself quite a bit before deciding to come back and ask this, but I can't think of any other place where I could.

I've now amassed more than 400 hours, done some more instrument training (and deserted it again - don't know why I can't quite get myself to finish it, but anyway), some very cool cross-country flights, and this and that and the other. Still learning every time I go up. Still maintaining my C medical as a type-1 diabetic (even though I could default to the driver's license one, I like the extra flexibility).

Boy, am I good at avoiding the subject, or what? but it really is the strangest question.

OK, here goes. Courage, boy.

Has anyone here developed a fear of flying while, well, flying?

I really can't explain it. Somehow, somewhere, along the way, I seem to have picked up and am faced with the absolutely odd sensation of being completely effing scared of things going wrong. Honestly, looking back at my 8-year flying career so far, I've been in some pretty hairy situations, and done some admittedly rather stupid things - but I'd never been afraid before.

Now it's like every little thing, I doubletriplecheck. Can only relax in stable smooth air. Gusty takeoff? oh boy, am I super conscious of every little movement. Tricky landing? you betcha. Funny thing is, I am definitely doing all of the difficult things better than ever before: I am finally "wearing the plane" like my instructor used to say way back when. I flew from KSEZ to KCCR Sunday in seriously windy choppy weather, and still managed to avoid going even 100ft up or down (or 2deg right or left) for hours, even as I was dancing on the controls almost the whole time to compensate - it's like my brain is sensing where the plane is about to go and correct in advance without thinking about it.

In other words, I'd expect my confidence to grow, but instead, I'm constantly on the alert for what can go wrong next. Nervous as heck.

It's really, really weird.

Has anyone else gone through a phase like this? what am I supposed to do? how do I get over it? what's going on? truth is I won't even take off anymore in situations that in the past I wouldn't think twice about.

What's going on?

Help!
Click to expand...
Sorry to hear about you problem. I would ask a mental health professional to help you through this. Sometimes some small thing can build up over time until it take over your mind and controls you.
I googled this: https://adaa.org/understanding-anxi...ent/8-Steps-to-Overcoming-Your-Fear-of-Flying
Good luck.
 
onwards said:
Has anyone here developed a fear of flying while, well, flying?

...
In other words, I'd expect my confidence to grow, but instead, I'm constantly on the alert for what can go wrong next. Nervous as heck.

It's really, really weird.

what am I supposed to do? how do I get over it? what's going on? truth is I won't even take off anymore in situations that in the past I wouldn't think twice about.

What's going on?
Click to expand...

Take a deep breath. While your knowledge and experience has increased, it sounds like you’re overthinking a lot.

You ‘wear’ the airplane but think it’s an I’ll-fitting suit and are constantly trying to get comfortable.

My outside voice says you don’t actually understand what you should be doing when you’re fidgeting around. Probably because you’ve gained enough knowledge in your IFR training, but have no idea how it all clicks together.

Were I in your shoes, I’d finish my IFR with the -IIs full knowledge of where you’re at with the mental block and spend a lot of time flying in the system.

In short, you need to understand the why of it all.
 
Pilot anxiety followed a kind of parabolic function for me and I suspect others, too. As a freshly minted pilot I was relatively confident and relatively complacent about in-flight risks. As I gained more experience and had my share of learning moments in more challenging flight conditions, I became more aware of risk and had more nervous awareness while flying. After instrument training and many more hours of training and experience, additional confidence and competence has greatly increased personal comfort. I'm still very aware and vigilant, but wiser and calmer. There is no substitute for recurrent training and experience. I also think there is significant value in personal ownership, as you have better control over the condition of your aircraft.
 
I understand exactly where you are coming from. In the past I have never been scared while flying. I have about 3,000 hours. I've done 24 months in Afghanistan flying Apache's. I've landed EMS helicopters at 2:30am in the dark mountains, gusting winds, brownout conditions, with wires in the area. I have flown old rental airplanes without really knowing the true mechanical condition. I never felt much fear during any of that. Then I built my own airplane. I am confident in my building skills, but somehow building it myself was like peaking behind the curtain and knowing that these things are just mechanical contraptions built by humans. Coupled with a few engine problems early on in testing, I now sometimes experience a bit of fear when flying my airplane over mountains or any area without anywhere to land. Every time I go out to the airport, I feel a bit of anxiety that has certainly made it slightly less fun. I don't get this when flying the helicopter for work, just my own airplane. It has gotten a lot better as I continue to put problem free hours on the airplane. I do think that I will get to the point of a healthy level of respect of what can go wrong, but without fear. Hopefully that happens soon.

My only advice to you is to keep at it, and don't let the fear overpower the fun. Always be prepared for an engine failure, but don't let it consume you. Trust in your ability to deal with an emergency if it ever comes.
 
saddletramp said:
Now that I'm older, & had a few close calls (not in aviation) I'm a bit more cautious. I look out at the struts on my 1957 Skylane in turbulence & wonder just how well the airframe has weathered the years. I have a natural fear of heights so if I dwell on that I can sometimes get a bit anxious.
...
I still love to fly regardless!
Click to expand...

Man, you described it perfectly. I used to glance at the struts, now I spend probably a minute on each one before taking off... because I do everything instinctively now without having to think about it ("wearing the plane"), I have more time to look outside, and seeing the wings practically flap in choppy weather makes this image of one of them collapsing loom in my mind. These machines are incredible, aren't they?
 
Thanks for asking that question, and for others responding. Glad I’m not the only one.

OP, sounds like you’re typical. I have less hours than you and figured it would go away some day. Maybe not. It ebbs and flows. Long stints between flying make me “think” more.
 
cowman said:
I've got close to the same number of hours, recently got my instrument rating. I frequently get anxious before flights, worrying I've made or will make a mistake, worrying about just how safe this machine that's older than I am really is.
Click to expand...

Right? thank goodness I'm not the only one. I used to not think about it much, but now it's like a bigger thing.

cowman said:
Often in the air during cruise I'll start wondering if something on the plane is going to fail this time, get uncomfortable in turbulence, etc. I recently lost my vacuum system in flight, which wasn't a big deal since I was in clear weather so I continued on home. I will admit I had a worry in the back of my mind- why did it fail? Is there any way failed vaccum pump parts could end up in the engine and cause a bigger problem? I didn't think it could but you worry about these things when you can't check(it was fine).
Click to expand...

Yeah. I spend a lot more time during flight these days constantly making sure I know exactly where I'm putting the plane down if something serious happens. I used to be far more optimistic, if that makes sense.

cowman said:
Funny thing I've noticed though I never have nerves when I'm busy... if I'm talking to ATC or setting up to land or flying an approach or something I'm just too focused on what I'm doing to get nervous about anything.
Click to expand...

Also true for me. I just get focused. It's like... I now have a lot more time during flight when my mind seems to drift because I'm doing things on auto for the most part. For the simplest example, constant scanning of everything is just a habit, I don't have to think about it, it just happens. Even radio work doesn't require real effort, except maybe if the flight environment is super busy around an airport. We recently got ADS-B in the plane and I get traffic now, which is a useful distraction (mostly because I'm not used to it yet).
 
LongRoadBob said:
I have no idea, but was wondering. Is it at all possible your growing competence is the source of this? I'm still a student, and I am maybe in some ways "blessed" with ignorance about some of the points of failure that may happen. I could imagine even after getting your license (cert) maybe one ignores or even a little in denial that bad things can happen.
So you get better, and better at the maneuvers and have more control, and maybe it opened you up to ALL the possible things that you may not be able to control even as a better pilot?
Click to expand...

Boy, I think you are on to something here. I read your note and something in my gut started untwisting.

It's very true; when I think back to what I was doing even 150 hours ago I shudder. I really have no clue how I survived. Gives me chills. And I used to think those situations were exciting! I can now think back on several places I'd been and point out exactly the accident chain, and precisely the point where I broke it, often out of sheer dumb luck. In at least two cases, it was probably the last point before an accident DID happen.

LongRoadBob said:
Can you describe the fear any more detailed? Loss of control, wings falling off, etc.? Things in your control or out of it?
Click to expand...

It's both, but a lot of it is around things that could fail. A collapsing strut in tough weather - which, since I've been doing quite a bit of mountain flying, has become a regular feature in my flying life - is the most recurring image. Not really worried about engine shutting down, I feel comfortable I could put the plane down almost anywhere (even if it might not fly again later). Mostly it's about flight surfaces going boom.
 
luvflyin said:
Maybe it’s forumitis. Do you think it kinda started around a time when you had been reading about accidents
Click to expand...

Can I like this several times, please? as I read it, I realized some of it is related for sure. It's a delayed response in a way - I was reading them years ago and not relating, but some stuck with me because I recall them in difficult flying conditions.
 
chemgeek said:
Pilot anxiety followed a kind of parabolic function for me and I suspect others, too. As a freshly minted pilot I was relatively confident and relatively complacent about in-flight risks. As I gained more experience and had my share of learning moments in more challenging flight conditions, I became more aware of risk and had more nervous awareness while flying. After instrument training and many more hours of training and experience, additional confidence and competence has greatly increased personal comfort. I'm still very aware and vigilant, but wiser and calmer. There is no substitute for recurrent training and experience. I also think there is significant value in personal ownership, as you have better control over the condition of your aircraft.
Click to expand...

Interesting, thank you. Yes, awareness of possible failure points has increased dramatically for me, and with it comes added anxiety. For example, one of my close calls involved having to use carb heat at FL165 in my 182 at subzero weather - that's pretty high up - to turn around what seemed like building carb ice over a mountain range, and once everything appeared to stabilize... I turned it off. Innocently. I wasn't even thinking about it, it seemed natural. That's how damn clueless I was.

I still think about it ever so often and have a chill go up my spine.
 
Direct C51 said:
I understand exactly where you are coming from. In the past I have never been scared while flying. I have about 3,000 hours.
Click to expand...

Thank you so much for sharing this... if someone with your experience feels some anxiety, then I can give myself license to feel it too :)
 
Flying over the sierra's makes me think a little more. I just plan on flying higher and always try to have a semi flat spot, road, or airport to be able to glide to.
 
I'm a low time private pilot, 65 hours. I'm always running through situations in my head of what could go wrong, but there were only two times I felt what I would call fear. Not panic, just fear. One I was doing a blind take off under the hood with my CFI. I knew he was there, but man was that an eye opening (or closed? :confused:) experience. Second my latest cross country to KPDK in our clubs 172. I left KDPK around 9:30, well past sunset. After departing I was mesmerized by how beautiful all the city lights were on climb out. Then it hit me I have no freaking clue where I would put down the airplane if I lost the engine. I had a quick 10 seconds of horrible thoughts running through my head, then realized there is nothing I could do about it. I decided to get to I-85 as quick as I could to have a possible emergency landing spot and stay focused and vigilant. Ended up being one of the most enjoyable flights I've had.
 
Just be sure your skill bucket is full before your luck bucket is empty!
 
When I was publishing Aviation Safety, I spent a vast amount of time studying accidents. I'd get copies of the full investigation dockets and read it all -- field notes, lab reports, autopsy results. The detail of individual accidents didn't turn me away from flying at all. What eventually got to me was the fact that the same handful of accident profiles popped up time and time again. And the idiot mistakes made by very experienced pilots. After a while, I even started to think the concept of risk management might just be a bunch of BS. How can we say we manage risk when we (as an industry) have volumes of empirical data showing all the ways those management attempts fail?

Anyway, when I got out of doing that, I found my cheese again. It's not a matter of preventing anything from going wrong. It's a matter of doing your best to make sure you're on top of your game when the chips are down. And if that's not enough, well, no one gets out of life alive, so why worry about it. All you can do is try to be the best pilot you can be. Of course that also includes accepting when you CAN'T, and therefore you should stay on the ground. (That latter one, from my observations, is one of the bigger problems accident pilots have - when skills or equipment are not up to the task.)
 
onwards said:
Hey, everyone, been a while.

Honestly, I debated myself quite a bit before deciding to come back and ask this, but I can't think of any other place where I could.

I've now amassed more than 400 hours, done some more instrument training (and deserted it again - don't know why I can't quite get myself to finish it, but anyway), some very cool cross-country flights, and this and that and the other. Still learning every time I go up. Still maintaining my C medical as a type-1 diabetic (even though I could default to the driver's license one, I like the extra flexibility).

Boy, am I good at avoiding the subject, or what? but it really is the strangest question.

OK, here goes. Courage, boy.

Has anyone here developed a fear of flying while, well, flying?

I really can't explain it. Somehow, somewhere, along the way, I seem to have picked up and am faced with the absolutely odd sensation of being completely effing scared of things going wrong. Honestly, looking back at my 8-year flying career so far, I've been in some pretty hairy situations, and done some admittedly rather stupid things - but I'd never been afraid before.

Now it's like every little thing, I doubletriplecheck. Can only relax in stable smooth air. Gusty takeoff? oh boy, am I super conscious of every little movement. Tricky landing? you betcha. Funny thing is, I am definitely doing all of the difficult things better than ever before: I am finally "wearing the plane" like my instructor used to say way back when. I flew from KSEZ to KCCR Sunday in seriously windy choppy weather, and still managed to avoid going even 100ft up or down (or 2deg right or left) for hours, even as I was dancing on the controls almost the whole time to compensate - it's like my brain is sensing where the plane is about to go and correct in advance without thinking about it.

In other words, I'd expect my confidence to grow, but instead, I'm constantly on the alert for what can go wrong next. Nervous as heck.

It's really, really weird.

Has anyone else gone through a phase like this? what am I supposed to do? how do I get over it? what's going on? truth is I won't even take off anymore in situations that in the past I wouldn't think twice about.

What's going on?

Help!
Click to expand...

I’m going to play devils advocate to all the encouragement going on... “completely effing scared” doesn’t sound like a good state of mind to be doing anything high-stakes in, assuming you were not exaggerating. I would see a hypnotist and if that doesn’t work maybe find a new hobby.

Imagine you’re watching a movie about a pilot terrified to fly. Would you want to fly with that guy? Or operated on by a surgeon paralyzed by fear?
 
I went through this phase many years ago and I became a fair weather pilot flying early morning and late day when air was smooth. Limiting trips. For me I think it was too much focus on accident reports and error chains. I would preflight the plane and already be thinking about the NTSB report "pilot was seen checking fuel, but seemed hurried....didn't get an updated briefing...etc. it became less fun and more stress inducing. Now I am back after a long break and working on my IFR and while I still study and learn I think I trust my judgment and understand more about the plane systems. While mechanical failures happen, they represent a small fraction of the real accident scenarios which are still: Vmc into imc, approach stalls, fuel exhaustion, etc. I really try to work hard on managing the risks and also enjoying the flights. Bumpy rides are still no fun but they have less of fear inducing reaction than they used to. And yes I hate heights. Hate driving on bridges and standing on the edge of something 25 feet up makes me very unhappy! However, climb-out and bank to heading and base to final are a blast!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
Ben2k9 said:
I’m going to play devils advocate to all the encouragement going on... “completely effing scared” doesn’t sound like a good state of mind to be doing anything high-stakes in, assuming you were not exaggerating. I would see a hypnotist and if that doesn’t work maybe find a new hobby.
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I'm inclined to agree. This sort of sounds more like a flying induced anxiety attack than a fear of flying.
 
A healthy fear is good. Flying is dangerous. I don't think we really grasp the reality of the risk until we've had a few hundred hours and then see/hear of friends having accidents. Things start to hit pretty close to home and you realize that despite how much experience you have, how hard you train, how safe you are, how safe and maintained your aircraft is, there is still plenty of risk.

Of course there's that Dunning-Kruger effect going on as well. The more experience you get, the more you realize you have much more to learn and the less confidence you have in your experience. When you're green (as well as young) you think you know it all and have everything covered.

For myself, in my own way, I face fear every time I get ready to fly. It's sort of a pre-flight ritual for me. I think about how the airplane, ATC, weather, some other pilot, or myself, or a bird, might try to kill me today. I expect it and then in making the decision to go, I confirm and reassure that I have done everything I can to minimize and manage the risk profile into something acceptable to me. If I haven't done everything, then I get to it. Or I don't go. Simple as that. Then I get in the airplane and the fear is gone, replaced with awareness, diligence and a desire to perform my best and fly as safely and precise as possible. No more room for fear.
 
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