How I ended up with a 5/6 pound burger...

Sac Arrow

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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Snorting his way across the USA
Okay, so, I ended up going on a short ride today because I plan on making ribs, and I needed to be back a little bit early to engage in the rib making process, so I went to the burger place of third choice. This burger place of third choice (we will abbreviate BPTC) has three basic sizes of burgers: 1/4 lb, 1/3 lb, and 1/2 lb.

Register girl wearing the boom mic is busy dealing with the drive though customers. I hate drive throughs. I despise drive throughs. Give THEM second tier service, not your walk in customers. But it was just me. And her. And the Central American kitchen staff in the back (paging @Ryanb). She seemed slightly annoyed at my animal presence and piercing gaze that ripped in to the very seams of fabric in her pants.

"Give me that half pound Guacamole Bacon Burger, lettuce wrapped please. For here."

"Okay. That will be $8.50."

Eight fifty. Wow. For one burger at a fast food place. I'm like WTF.

Several minutes later she approaches with a dollar bill in her hand. I'm like, a) I overpaid (I did), b) she wants to cut a line of coke with me, or c) I am about to give her a lap dance. I mean, I am wearing my bike spandex. No honey, I'm not Jewish and however yes I am happy to see you.

"So we don't carry the one half pound patties anymore. Can we make it up with a third pound patty? The difference in price is one dollar."

Okay. Several levels of fail. 1. One half pound burgers are prominently displayed. 2. They are in 'The System. 3. Someone in the food chain (food chain, get it? Okay, tough crowd.) either forgot to tell her, or they did tell her, and she did not understand 'sin hambre del carne de media libre.' Well, here's the thing: I want my half pound of flesh. That's only going half Shakespeare I know, but... baby....

It's fractions mang. Ma'am. Young woman. Girlie girl. Poppy tart. Sweetie sweets. One half pound. What combination can you use to arrive at one half pound? Ohhhhhhhhhhh......

"Well, how about, can you have them make it with two quarter pound patties instead?"

"Gee... I don't know."

Wait. So, you're fine with making a size substitution and a price reduction, but, you can't just make it with to patties of the half size and do no adjustments at all? Where is the logic in that? Make sad puppy dog eyes.

"I can ask..."

"Please do."

She hops and skips away with the dollar bill, deals with another irate customer, and, low and behold, she returned with a burger.

"Yes! We could do it!"

Well... apparently there was some major miscommunication. What she failed to communicate is that either they had already made the 1/3 pound burger already, or her verbal instructions did not translate over quite so well, because I ended up with two quarter pound patties topped with a third pound patty. I really wasn't planning on eating quite that much, but whatever, I'll take it.

Random observation: I learned three things today: 1. Kandahar today is only slightly worse than the sketchy areas of Chicago. Translation, yes, you are still likely to get blown up by an RPG if you are a Westerner. Or an IED if you aren't. 2. Exactly how the steering system of a Russian T55 tank works, and by the way the Chinese NORINCO version is junk*, and 3) you have to reduce denominators to six to deal with twos and threes. Wait... I already knew that. Back to 2. Oh... it was a waste of time to abbreviate BPTC. There is 3.

IMG_4659.jpg

*Actually the NORINCO T60 is just an inferior copy of the Russian T55, which isn't great quality to start with. The North Korean version of the Chinese technology is horrid and barely runs.
 
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Plenty of beef, must be Wendy's. There is Guacamole and bacon on there someplace? We do not get tomatoes here with that healthy color, you are benefiting from your residence in California. How hot were the red onions?
 
AggieMike88 said:
This crazy Northern Californians.... if they aren't orders their burgers in a strange way, they are out setting things on fire or pulling the power on the entire grid.
Click to expand...

I just assumed they shut the lights off en masse because:
  1. It's California, and they want to cut their carbon footprint, and make a statement doing it;
  2. reading by firelight is more romantic;
  3. PG&E is the new Enron?
Next time I'd probably ask them to replace one of the patties with some Tail Bacon.
 
geezer said:
Plenty of beef, must be Wendy's. There is Guacamole and bacon on there someplace? We do not get tomatoes here with that healthy color, you are benefiting from your residence in California. How hot were the red onions?
Click to expand...

Plenty of beef, must be Wendy's. Nope. Rhymes with Barl's. The east coast/midwest version rhymes with Pardee's.

There is Guacamole and bacon on there someplace? Actually the guacamole is visible. The bacon was pushed towards the other end.

We do not get tomatoes here with that healthy color, you are benefiting from your residence in California. Perhaps, but they likely came from Mexico.

How hot were the red onions? Not very.
 
AggieMike88 said:
This crazy Northern Californians.... if they aren't orders their burgers in a strange way, they are out setting things on fire or pulling the power on the entire grid.
Click to expand...

Or encouraging electric cars and charging stations and solar power to feed into a grid and then shutting the whole electrical grid thing down and issuing everybody Spandex and bicycles.

Cheers
 
GRG55 said:
  1. It's California, and they want to cut their carbon footprint, and make a statement doing it;
Click to expand...
The people I know in the impacted area, like my mom I had several calls with to make sure she had the right bits to run the well from the generator today, are going to have gasoline generators. And they're probably going to end up with more pollution from all the much dirtier burning generators. Sure, natural gas generators can be reasonably clean, but these locations are mostly rural and might have propane, but generally the generators they're buying to keep the food from spoiling and the well running are all going to be gasoline.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I ended up going on a short ride today because I plan on making ribs, and I needed to be back a little bit early to engage in the rib making process
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So how many ribs were you able to down with 5/6lbs worth of burger in your gut?
 
asicer said:
So how many ribs were you able to down with 5/6lbs worth of burger in your gut?
Click to expand...

Well, 1/3 pounds less that I was originally planning on eating. I made two racks of spares (St. Louis cut) weighing in at about seven and some change pounds total. There are even some left over. Totally nailed them. Next best thing is coming out of a smoker.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Well, 1/3 pounds less that I was originally planning on eating. I made two racks of spares (St. Louis cut) weighing in at about seven and some change pounds total. There are even some left over. Totally nailed them. Next best thing is coming out of a smoker.
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I bet they were much better than the McRib sandwich I had yesterday. I get one a year usually and that was it. Good enough for not getting BBQ much, but not that good.
 
flhrci said:
I bet they were much better than the McRib sandwich I had yesterday. I get one a year usually and that was it. Good enough for not getting BBQ much, but not that good.
Click to expand...

The McRib is back? Those are so foul. I tried one the last time they were out, and felt like I was taking one for the team.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Okay, so, I ended up going on a short ride today because I plan on making ribs, and I needed to be back a little bit early to engage in the rib making process, so I went to the burger place of third choice. This burger place of third choice (we will abbreviate BPTC) has three basic sizes of burgers: 1/4 lb, 1/3 lb, and 1/2 lb.

Register girl wearing the boom mic is busy dealing with the drive though customers. I hate drive throughs. I despise drive throughs. Give THEM second tier service, not your walk in customers. But it was just me. And her. And the Central American kitchen staff in the back (paging @Ryanb). She seemed slightly annoyed at my animal presence and piercing gaze that ripped in to the very seams of fabric in her pants.

"Give me that half pound Guacamole Bacon Burger, lettuce wrapped please. For here."

"Okay. That will be $8.50."

Eight fifty. Wow. For one burger at a fast food place. I'm like WTF.

Several minutes later she approaches with a dollar bill in her hand. I'm like, a) I overpaid (I did), b) she wants to cut a line of coke with me, or c) I am about to give her a lap dance. I mean, I am wearing my bike spandex. No honey, I'm not Jewish and however yes I am happy to see you.

"So we don't carry the one half pound patties anymore. Can we make it up with a third pound patty? The difference in price is one dollar."

Okay. Several levels of fail. 1. One half pound burgers are prominently displayed. 2. They are in 'The System. 3. Someone in the food chain (food chain, get it? Okay, tough crowd.) either forgot to tell her, or they did tell her, and she did not understand 'sin hambre del carne de media libre.' Well, here's the thing: I want my half pound of flesh. That's only going half Shakespeare I know, but... baby....

It's fractions mang. Ma'am. Young woman. Girlie girl. Poppy tart. Sweetie sweets. One half pound. What combination can you use to arrive at one half pound? Ohhhhhhhhhhh......

"Well, how about, can you have them make it with two quarter pound patties instead?"

"Gee... I don't know."

Wait. So, you're fine with making a size substitution and a price reduction, but, you can't just make it with to patties of the half size and do no adjustments at all? Where is the logic in that? Make sad puppy dog eyes.

"I can ask..."

"Please do."

She hops and skips away with the dollar bill, deals with another irate customer, and, low and behold, she returned with a burger.

"Yes! We could do it!"

Well... apparently there was some major miscommunication. What she failed to communicate is that either they had already made the 1/3 pound burger already, or her verbal instructions did not translate over quite so well, because I ended up with two quarter pound patties topped with a third pound patty. I really wasn't planning on eating quite that much, but whatever, I'll take it.

Random observation: I learned three things today: 1. Kandahar today is only slightly worse than the sketchy areas of Chicago. Translation, yes, you are still likely to get blown up by an RPG if you are a Westerner. Or an IED if you aren't. 2. Exactly how the steering system of a Russian T55 tank works, and by the way the Chinese NORINCO version is junk*, and 3) you have to reduce denominators to six to deal with twos and threes. Wait... I already knew that. Back to 2. Oh... it was a waste of time to abbreviate BPTC. There is 3.

View attachment 79002

*Actually the NORINCO T60 is just an inferior copy of the Russian T55, which isn't great quality to start with. The North Korean version of the Chinese technology is horrid and barely runs.
Click to expand...

 
I might give them another shot today. I'm really hungry.
 
You want ribs/BBQ? Fly to Buttonwillow, CA and get a ride to the Willow Ranch Inn. It’s a must stop on our trips to So. CA from Silicon Valley. For me, they have the gold standard for ribs.
 
FuddRuckers has larger size burgers too. And the all you can eat cheese dispensers..
 
charheep said:
FuddRuckers has larger size burgers too. And the all you can eat cheese dispensers..
Click to expand...

I haven't been to one in like 20 years. I don't remember their burgers being all that great.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I haven't been to one in like 20 years. I don't remember their burgers being all that great.
Click to expand...
I went to one a few times many moons ago and thought it was ok. I think it was good for made to order burgers, but not worth going out of my way. There hasn't been one here for many years.
 
charheep said:
FuddRuckers has larger size burgers too. And the all you can eat cheese dispensers..
Click to expand...
Oh man, I actually really dig Fudd’s whenever I get the chance to eat there. I like how you can dress the burger on your own and their fries are really good too!
 
flhrci said:
I went to one a few times many moons ago and thought it was ok. I think it was good for made to order burgers, but not worth going out of my way. There hasn't been one here for many years.
Click to expand...

The local one closed down years ago but there is one in Fairfield. That's kind of going out of my way. I see that they have a side salad, and I could probably make a lettuce wrap work there. But I mean, how many toppings can you pile on a burger? You're paying extra for the good stuff - cheese and bacon. I don't really see piling much more on than tomato, onion, and pickle. I might give it a shot the next time I'm driving through there.
 
Just as a follow up, I rode to Carl's Jr. today, as they happened to be open on Thanksgiving. Sure enough, the 1/2 lb burgers were off the menu. You could have:

1/4 lb single, except for the Famous Star and the Double Bacon Western Cheeseburger, which are doubles.

1/3 lb single

1/3 lb double

Here's the quandary - I want a half pound of burger at lunch, and a pound at dinner. I can approach this one of two ways:

1. Relegate myself to a Famous Star and Double Bacon Western Cheeseburger. Or at lunch, and at dinner.

2. Get a 1/3 lb Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger and a double 1/3 lb Spicy Jalapeno Cheeseburger (or the do the double on the first.) But the lunch option leaves me with 1/3 lb, which isn't enough, or 2/3 lb, which is probably more than I should be eating.

Oh, and I might add, they no longer have a side salad. They haven't had one for some time now. They have a single salad that is too big to be a side, and two small to be an entree. And it's pretty plain Jane with just iceberg lettuce and some shredded carrots.
 
I am really frustrated with Carl's Jr. nutrition calculator. I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT SIZE PATTIES ARE IN THE BIG CARL!!!!

Yes I am screaming. Tell me the size. Don't make me rip it apart and do the math. They list it as two "standard patties." Is a "standard patty" a quarter pound, or the smaller normal "standard" size????

Google is failing me too.
 
Blechhh - I see more gristle hunks and fat globules than meat in that pile of sub-par carnage. Das jus nasty!
 
Really. Big. Patties. Much bigger than a big mac. Not as big as a half pound Thickburger (formerly known as a 6 dollar burger.)
 
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Mason said:
Really. Big. Patties. Much bigger than a big mac. Not as big as a half pound Thickburger (formerly known as a 6 dollar burger.
Click to expand...

You’re killing me. I will have to investigate and report.

Here is the thing-if the Big Carl has 1/4 lb patties, then it is already a Super Star, which is Carl’s double quarter pounder. Why not just get that?
 
Well I haven't brought a scale or tape measure, but I would guess the patties on the big Carl start out at 1/3 pound before cooking. They seem bigger than what's on the Super Star. But unlike that burger, the Big Carl lacks tomato.
 
flhrci said:
@Sac Arrow are you going to require counseling? It seems this is ruining your life. :D
Click to expand...

Just finished my group counseling session at the mayo clinic. They said lettuce all share our true feelings. I sat my buns down on the chair, told them I was in a pickle, and finally we discovered what my beef was about.

It was good to ketchup with the group.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Just finished my group counseling session at the mayo clinic. They said lettuce all share our true feelings. I sat my buns down on the chair, told them I was in a pickle, and finally we discovered what my beef was about.

It was good to ketchup with the group.
Click to expand...
Make sure you get this kind of ketchup. It will help you relax.

 
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