Florida Cracker
Ejection Handle Pulled
- Joined
- May 4, 2009
- Messages
- 12,360
- Display Name
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Florida Cracker
The effects of MMGW, in the form of sixteen feet of snow falling in many parts of the US, limited attendance at the monthly meeting in Hangar 13, at Area 51.
Only fourteen-hundred and ninety two pilots braved the snow, ice, frigid temps, and brutal winds caused by the steady increase of the temperature of the earth.
Write Stuff decided to call the meeting to order, even though we were eight pilots short of a quorum, which touched off a massive argument about the validity of quorums, and whether they should have taken blizzards into account when the rule was made up.
Henning reminded everyone that in fourteen-hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, then went on to explain that was before mmgw change the tides, and left massive areas of the earth covered with water. He knows because he was there.
Clark - known as Throttle - raised his frostbitten hand and remarked that the blizzard we were experiencing was way too tame, and a big disappointment. Several female pilots, led by everskyward, remarked that men usually leave them disappointed, instead.
Murphey made a snarky remark about women never being satisfied and got a dirty look from everskyward.
Tom D showed photos of daffodils and generally made people mad because they can’t pick daffodils when the ground is frozen, and covered with sixteen feet of snow. Jay Honek mentioned the warmth in the valley of Texas and got a smack from peggy, who was in a bad mood due to mmgw.
Sgt. Schultz – aka Norman – informed the assembled throng that he HATES dumb drivers, and was promptly run over by a drunk Canadian driving a Zamboni.
Bryan was quiet throughout this part of the meeting, as he contemplated shortening the cockpit of his planes to accommodate Eren’s short legs. When the captain remarked that short legs are a sign of dumbness, he was summarily executed by being smothered in feminine hygiene products and rolled into the retention pond. The resulting mass reminded everyone of the Michelin Man.
Saracelica struck a nerve when the topic of procreation came up. Multiple members confessed to being extremely favorable to the methods by which having children comes about, while many women members reminded them that men usually disappoint them in that exact way.
No majority opinion could be concluded, so the matter was temporarily tabled while a committee made up of Johnh, Mirage, and Ben did exhaustive extra-curricular study on the problem, which would likely end up with half the participants being disappointed and the other half drunk with testosterone.
Eventually Booger-the-bartender came down and announced that Coors Light was going on sale four for the price of two, and almost all the female members followed him back to the Lamppost Bar and Grill.
With a smaller, more receptive audience, Bryan stood up and showed a photo essay of his father's new plane, commenting on the unique features that caused him to fly poorly the first time out.
Write called for a vote, but nobody knew what they were voting for, so they all voted no.
The mens auxiliary announced Summer fashion show featuring the entire Hanger Talk cast in speedos. Several members threw up in their mouths.
Bryan in a fit of pique, turned himself into a little green man and tried to do live autopsies on the entire membership group, but settled for his real targets, Big Al and Geico.
Everybody else decided to go see if Coors Light is a bad as it sounds, and left Bryan and his boys to their fun.
Only fourteen-hundred and ninety two pilots braved the snow, ice, frigid temps, and brutal winds caused by the steady increase of the temperature of the earth.
Write Stuff decided to call the meeting to order, even though we were eight pilots short of a quorum, which touched off a massive argument about the validity of quorums, and whether they should have taken blizzards into account when the rule was made up.
Henning reminded everyone that in fourteen-hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue, then went on to explain that was before mmgw change the tides, and left massive areas of the earth covered with water. He knows because he was there.
Clark - known as Throttle - raised his frostbitten hand and remarked that the blizzard we were experiencing was way too tame, and a big disappointment. Several female pilots, led by everskyward, remarked that men usually leave them disappointed, instead.
Murphey made a snarky remark about women never being satisfied and got a dirty look from everskyward.
Tom D showed photos of daffodils and generally made people mad because they can’t pick daffodils when the ground is frozen, and covered with sixteen feet of snow. Jay Honek mentioned the warmth in the valley of Texas and got a smack from peggy, who was in a bad mood due to mmgw.
Sgt. Schultz – aka Norman – informed the assembled throng that he HATES dumb drivers, and was promptly run over by a drunk Canadian driving a Zamboni.
Bryan was quiet throughout this part of the meeting, as he contemplated shortening the cockpit of his planes to accommodate Eren’s short legs. When the captain remarked that short legs are a sign of dumbness, he was summarily executed by being smothered in feminine hygiene products and rolled into the retention pond. The resulting mass reminded everyone of the Michelin Man.
Saracelica struck a nerve when the topic of procreation came up. Multiple members confessed to being extremely favorable to the methods by which having children comes about, while many women members reminded them that men usually disappoint them in that exact way.
No majority opinion could be concluded, so the matter was temporarily tabled while a committee made up of Johnh, Mirage, and Ben did exhaustive extra-curricular study on the problem, which would likely end up with half the participants being disappointed and the other half drunk with testosterone.
Eventually Booger-the-bartender came down and announced that Coors Light was going on sale four for the price of two, and almost all the female members followed him back to the Lamppost Bar and Grill.
With a smaller, more receptive audience, Bryan stood up and showed a photo essay of his father's new plane, commenting on the unique features that caused him to fly poorly the first time out.
Write called for a vote, but nobody knew what they were voting for, so they all voted no.
The mens auxiliary announced Summer fashion show featuring the entire Hanger Talk cast in speedos. Several members threw up in their mouths.
Bryan in a fit of pique, turned himself into a little green man and tried to do live autopsies on the entire membership group, but settled for his real targets, Big Al and Geico.
Everybody else decided to go see if Coors Light is a bad as it sounds, and left Bryan and his boys to their fun.
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