EdFred
Taxi to Parking
Since the MC has declared that underscores are no longer to be used when telling jokes, we suggest the following suggestions as alternatives.
Number 1
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the ____ you're doing.
TRY TYPING: You don't know what the **** you're doing.
Number 2
INSTEAD OF: She's a _______ _____.
TRY TYPING: She's a ****ing *****.
Number 3
INSTEAD OF: And when the ____ do you expect me to do this?
TRY TYPING: And when the **** do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
INSTEAD OF: No _______ way.
TRY TYPING: No ****ing way.
Number 5
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be ________ me!
TRY TYPING: You've got to be ****ting me!
Number 6
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a ____.
TRY TYPING: Tell someone who gives a ****.
Number 7
INSTEAD OF: It's not my _______ problem.
TRY TYPING: It's not my ****ing problem.
Number 8
INSTEAD OF: What the ____!?!?
TRY TYPING: What the ****!?!?
Number 9
INSTEAD OF: This ____ won't work.
TRY TYPING: This **** won't work.
Number 10
INSTEAD OF: Why the ____ didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY TYPING: Why the **** didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ___.
TRY TYPING: He's got his head up his ass.
Number 12
INSTEAD OF: Eat ____ and die.
TRY TYPING: Eat **** and die.
Number 13
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ___.
TRY TYPING: Kiss my ass.
Number 14
INSTEAD OF: ____ it, I'm on salary.
TRY TYPING: **** it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ___.
TRY TYPING: Shove it up your ass.
Number 16
INSTEAD OF: This _______ job sucks.
TRY TYPING: This ****ing job sucks.
Number 17
INSTEAD OF: Who the ____ died and made you boss?
TRY TYPING: Who the **** died and made you boss?
Number 18
INSTEAD OF: He's a _____.
TRY TYPING: He's a prick.
Number 1
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the ____ you're doing.
TRY TYPING: You don't know what the **** you're doing.
Number 2
INSTEAD OF: She's a _______ _____.
TRY TYPING: She's a ****ing *****.
Number 3
INSTEAD OF: And when the ____ do you expect me to do this?
TRY TYPING: And when the **** do you expect me to do this?
Number 4
INSTEAD OF: No _______ way.
TRY TYPING: No ****ing way.
Number 5
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be ________ me!
TRY TYPING: You've got to be ****ting me!
Number 6
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a ____.
TRY TYPING: Tell someone who gives a ****.
Number 7
INSTEAD OF: It's not my _______ problem.
TRY TYPING: It's not my ****ing problem.
Number 8
INSTEAD OF: What the ____!?!?
TRY TYPING: What the ****!?!?
Number 9
INSTEAD OF: This ____ won't work.
TRY TYPING: This **** won't work.
Number 10
INSTEAD OF: Why the ____ didn't you tell me sooner?
TRY TYPING: Why the **** didn't you tell me sooner?
Number 11
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his ___.
TRY TYPING: He's got his head up his ass.
Number 12
INSTEAD OF: Eat ____ and die.
TRY TYPING: Eat **** and die.
Number 13
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my ___.
TRY TYPING: Kiss my ass.
Number 14
INSTEAD OF: ____ it, I'm on salary.
TRY TYPING: **** it, I'm on salary.
Number 15
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your ___.
TRY TYPING: Shove it up your ass.
Number 16
INSTEAD OF: This _______ job sucks.
TRY TYPING: This ****ing job sucks.
Number 17
INSTEAD OF: Who the ____ died and made you boss?
TRY TYPING: Who the **** died and made you boss?
Number 18
INSTEAD OF: He's a _____.
TRY TYPING: He's a prick.
Regardless, zydeco is happy music. 
Far be it from me to criticize how others choose to parent, but that one bothers me more than spanking gets some people riled up. Maybe it was the fact that my folks would have you bite down into the bar before the pulled it out, but it gets my feathers ruffled... going for a walk now. 
