No problem. I wrote the whole thing down to help me understand what happened.
I came to the conclusion I was not prepared to accept the risks of single pilot IFR. While I was doing my private pilot training I experienced a statistical anomaly. Seven people I knew died in five separate accidents over a period of a year and a half.
The reality that you can get killed flying an airplane became very real to me. It was not just something your flight instructor said. Normal, kind and caring people died every day in GA. It made me a very cautious, and risk adverse, pilot.
Thirty-two years after getting my PPL I'm still the same way...
Here's the story:
https://garysflyingadventures.blogspot.com/2012/03/my-first-and-nearly-last-solo-imc.html
Since I expect there will be a lot of negative comments over this post I won't be checking back in to this to read the comments. Don't bother posting any questions for me. I won't see them and won't answer them.
No negative comments here Gary, just a few observations on my "minimums" for single pilot ifr.
I won't fly single pilot IFR with out a working autopilot. There's a reason most airline crews are 2 pilot, workload at critical times IFR is a big one. The autopilot lessens that workload if used correctly. Plain and simple. People fly ifr with out an autopilot all the time, which is fine, more power to them, but this is my minimums. The autopilot also allows you to focus more brain power to those unexpected things that occasionally happen. Now for the naysayers, does this mean I'm unable to fly instruments without the autopilot? Nope, practice that all the time. But when a runway gets changed close to the airport and I have to reconfigure and rebrief, that autopilot is definitely worth it.
The next, and this was drummed into my head by my CFII, is not to do anything while IMC, or VMC for that matter, until I am ready for it. If I need more time I ask for a delay vector, no qualms, don't care if the controller doesn't like it, and I haven't had one complain yet, but if I need time, I get it. Works every time.
I have more, but probably the same stuff as you, but my most important personal minimum is that if I ever scare myself like you did, I'll get on the phone with my CFII, schedule a flight and work it through with him. Haven't had to do this yet IFR, but I'm sure it will happen. The place I rent from requires IFR checkout every year, which turn into IPCs, even if I get my own airplane, I plan to continue doing this. Sorry you don't fly IFR any more, I love it, really makes trips less stressful.