FedEx Pilot gripes

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hyphen81

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hyphen81
Not sure if this has already been posted, but it made me chuckle.

ubuhu8up.jpg



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Especially since some of those squaks would only apply to military aircraft - targeting, IFF, etc.

Seen this one a lot.
 
How long has it been since FedEx flew piston aircraft? I've never heard of turbine engines 'miss'.

Old? I suspect Orville and Wilbur telegraphed this one back from the Outer Banks...
 
Now for a real Fedex pilot joke (told to me by a Fedex FO who shall remain nameless, and obviously a few years out of date given some airline mergers):

What's the difference between a Northwest pilot and a Fedex pilot?





The Northwest pilot gets hammered before he gets on the plane.
 
I did not know FedEx had IFF installed. I wonder why a cargo carrier would need 'Identification Friend or Foe' and how do they get the crypto?
 
This was already an old worn-out gag when I first saw it tacked on the bulletin board in flight test school. Spring of 1958.
 
flyingron said:
Now for a real Fedex pilot joke (told to me by a Fedex FO who shall remain nameless, and obviously a few years out of date given some airline mergers):



What's the difference between a Northwest pilot and a Fedex pilot?











The Northwest pilot gets hammered before he gets on the plane.
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Ouch.....that was what , late 80's/early 90s vintage?
 
It obviously has to be after 1994 when the hammer incident took place. The most famous of the NW drunk pilot incidents took place in 1990. I can personally attest to an intoxicated NWA gate agent in the mid eighties.
 
flyingron said:
It obviously has to be after 1994 when the hammer incident took place. The most famous of the NW drunk pilot incidents took place in 1990. I can personally attest to an intoxicated NWA gate agent in the mid eighties.
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Ah yes. For some reason, I thought the hammer attack happened before 1990.
 
A bit old, but thanks to the OP for trying. Nobody ever tries cracking a joke and the place gets boring.
 
Fearless Tower said:
Has FedEx ever flown a piston? I cannot think of any.
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I don't think so either. He started with daussault falcons in the early 70s. Not sure if any of the smaller contract carriers used anything smaller than caravans.

Either way, it's clear the joke came long before FedEx came into existence.
 
He started with ONE Falcon N8FE, which is now at the Udvar-Hazy center. They expanded it to about 33 and then started buying DC-10C's.
 
Brad Z said:
I don't think so either. He started with daussault falcons in the early 70s. Not sure if any of the smaller contract carriers used anything smaller than caravans.

Either way, it's clear the joke came long before FedEx came into existence.
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the contractor i worked for used DC-3's before the caravans
 
Captain said:
I did not know FedEx had IFF installed. I wonder why a cargo carrier would need 'Identification Friend or Foe' and how do they get the crypto?
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I bet you have an IFF in your plane too (mode 3/C is part of IFF). They prob don't have modes 1, 2, 4, or 5... Or an AAI.
 
EvilEagle said:
I bet you have an IFF in your plane too (mode 3/C is part of IFF). They prob don't have modes 1, 2, 4, or 5... Or an AAI.
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Then its not 'IFF'. If having parts of a system count as being that system then my phone is the International Space Station.
 
Captain said:
Then its not 'IFF'. If having parts of a system count as being that system then my phone is the International Space Station.
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Dude.

It's a joke.

Did you leave your sense of humor on a reverse high-speed?
 
Captain said:
Then its not 'IFF'. If having parts of a system count as being that system then my phone is the International Space Station.
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No part of the cellular phone system nor any part of the Iridium system uses the ISS. Analogy fail.


Fearless Tower said:
Dude.

It's a joke.

Did you leave your sense of humor on a reverse high-speed?
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Just hit him back with the ornery. :D:D:D
 
Captain said:
Then its not 'IFF'. If having parts of a system count as being that system then my phone is the International Space Station.
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Yeah, you must be right, what do I know? I just interrogate and use IFF every day as part of my training to kill people... Easy Francis!!!

Anything that can identify you as a friend (such as Mode 3) is itself an IFF system. There is no such thing as a "full IFF" or anything like that - different platforms have different systems. My Bonanza has an IFF system which consists of Mode 3, C and S.
 
Whenever I hear of coffee maker problems in the galley I write up "Flight attendant's jugs cold." Gets 'em snickering...or, at least it did before Rule 32.
 
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