Famous Movie One-Liners

Did you know he checks his sanity with a stopwatch?

What do you check yours with, a dipstick????
 
"That Barney Rubble, what an actor."

Night Shift
 
Gus: "A man who wouldn't cheat for a poke don't want one bad enough"

Lonesome Dove
 
Hey Ridley....got any Beeman's?

You English Pig-dog. I fart in your general direction!
 
Some of my favs from Dr. Strangelove:

I told you never to call me here.
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
 
"Round up the usual suspects."
"I'm shocked -- shocked! -- to find gambling at Rick's."
And all other lines from Casablanca.
 
This is very important, Mr. Gant, you must think in Russian - you can't think in English and transpose it - you must think in Russian.
 
paflyer said:
I think that won Marisa the Oscar.
Click to expand...

My favorite line is:

I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory Edition Signature Series torque wrench. The kind used by Caltech high energy physicists. And NASA engineers.
A split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state AND federal Department of Weights and Measures... to be dead on balls accurate! (It's an industry term).
 
flyingron said:
My favorite line is:

I used a Craftsman model 1019 Laboratory Edition Signature Series torque wrench. The kind used by Caltech high energy physicists. And NASA engineers.
A split second before the torque wrench was applied to the faucet handle, it had been calibrated by top members of the state AND federal Department of Weights and Measures... to be dead on balls accurate! (It's an industry term).
Click to expand...
Well then, I guess the f****** thing is broken.
 
The saddest thing in life is wasted talent.

Now you's can't leave.

Sometimes in the heat of passion, the little head tells the big head what to do, and the big head should think twice about what you are doing.

A Bronx Tale
 
"It’s a hell of a thing, killin’ a man. You take away everything he’s got, and all he’s ever gonna have.”
​
 
Endeavor to persevere.

I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender.

Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.
 
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Dude, that was my skull!

Nauga,
havin' some food and learnin' about Cuba
 
Fortune favors the brave, dude!

Nauga,
and a different kind of Tokyo drift
 
Keep firing, *******s!

Or... From the same movie...

Someone change the combination on my luggage!

----

You want to know what it takes to sell real estate? It takes BRASS BALLS to sell real estate.

----

Bring out the Gimp.

----

Nobody ****s with the Jesus.

Or...

That rug really pulled the room together, man.

----

Now, understand, Commander, that torpedo did not self-destruct. You heard it hit the hull. And I... was never here.

Or...

This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.

Or...

I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle."
 
If you can dodge a wrench,you can dodge a ball.

Nauga,
possibly Canadian?
 
Mae West: "Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
 
The proper quote from Dirty Harry is "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"

Full dialogue,"Uh uh. I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I kinda lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?"
 
You believe in Jesus?

Well, you're gonna meet him.

Death Wish 2
 
There's no crying in baseball!

Pretty much the entirety of Airplane! and Holy Grail.

You're gonna need a bigger boat.
 
That is not my dog.

from one of the Pink Panther movies, can't remember which
 
"Can you make a Bull Shot?"...

"Can you make a shoe stink?"
 
First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.


I think next week I'll be able to send more money as I may have extra work. My friend Patty has promised me a blow job.
 

"I've spoken my peace and counted to three."

Every married man understands this line.
 
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