Drinking "for fun"

Lot of different definitions of "drinking" above.

Assuming "responsible, social" drinking, many activities have a large connection to drinking, and non- drinking can SOMETIMES lead to fewer invitations to social events. (Weekends in the Wine Country, tailgate parties at the football game, brew-fests, etc).

If 'drinking' is a major component of the event, I am not interested in attending and the fewer invitations I get, the better.

If hanging out with friends is the main part of the event and drinking is just a part of it, I have never been to anything where people didn't appreciate having someone who is sober enough to either
- drive them home
- make a run to the liquor store for resupply
 
If 'drinking' is a major component of the event, I am not interested in attending and the fewer invitations I get, the better.

If hanging out with friends is the main part of the event and drinking is just a part of it, I have never been to anything where people didn't appreciate having someone who is sober enough to either
- drive them home
- make a run to the liquor store for resupply

Obviously depends on definitions. But lots of activities, networking, business deals, opportunities are discussed with a drink in someone's hands. Sometimes it is a Coors Light, sometimes it is a nice Pinot, sometimes it is a smooth 15 year old Pappy Van Winkle.

If you weren't invited, you might miss out.
 
Obviously depends on definitions. But lots of activities, networking, business deals, opportunities are discussed with a drink in someone's hands. Sometimes it is a Coors Light, sometimes it is a nice Pinot, sometimes it is a smooth 15 year old Pappy Van Winkle.

If you weren't invited, you might miss out.

Well, that's what the drinkers say.
 
Well, that's what the drinkers say.

No, I think that is what lots of judges, attorneys, and plaintiffs have said when various groups have been excluded from venues where these take place. (See also country clubs).
 
My drinking really dropped off when I started learning to fly. You never knew when someone (CFI) might call with word that the weather was great and "let's go fly". Would really have been a bummer to not be legal (8 hours) and have to skip it. Haven't missed it. You don't want to know how old some of the stuff in the liquor cabinet is. :D

And no way do I ever want to have to explain a DUI to the FAA. Not happening.
 
Rant on
So my husband and I had some friends over. We go to their house occassionally but it was our turn to "host" the gathering. Made some burritos/tacos for supper with all the fixings. One of the guests brought over some Alcohol (Rye?) and when I poured myself some Cran Grape to go with dinner I got a "What you're not going to drink with dinner?!" I politely declined - I had a couple friends die from drinking to excess about 20 years ago. Drinking "for fun" stopped being fun around that time as well. So anyway to shut him up I pour some into my Cran grape. Big mistake. Not only did it make it taste horrible I ended up throwing it down the drain when he wasn't looking and refilling the cup with fresh Cran Grape.

Later I did take a shot or two of some other whiskey to be a good sport but frustrated that I can't say it to him because that could ruin a relationship so I share it with you my fine PoA community. Why push someone to drink if they don't want to? Oh you feel "uncomfortable" when your drinking and others aren't...well too bad.

Rant off

If ya wanna have a drink.. Have one....

If ya don't wanna have a drink... Tell them to #uck off..:yes:;)
 
No, I think that is what lots of judges, attorneys, and plaintiffs have said when various groups have been excluded from venues where these take place. (See also country clubs).

I dont think I ever had a drink at our country club. They haven't thrown me out yet for ordering an Arnold Palmer.
 
Not about disowning. Friends for me are far and few between. I don't make friends easily and so I'd like to have them around...I can't even count how many drinks I've poured out and said "wow that was really good!"

Sara, I hope I'm not out of line here, but there's a lot to address in your post. If you don't make friends easily, is it possible that you've come to accept counterfeits? As others have said, they're not your friends if they'd abandon you for not drinking.

If you pour the drink down the drain and are dishonest about it, you're perpetuating your problem.

Drinking and peer pressure go together. It's possible that others in your group would prefer not to drink if someone would just have the courage to be the first to say so, and provide some welcome pressure in that direction.

I don't drink, and I'm not often in an environment where that makes me stand out, but when it does I'm fine with that. (I struggled with that at one time.) It has not cost me any friends. If they won't stick around unless you're drinking, then they're not there to enjoy your company, but to be enabled in an addiction.

If you can find a way to say "no" without sounding judgmental to those around you, you'll be fine. If they keep pressing the issue, they're not friends.
 
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There are two sides to this. I've seen many people that decide they need to go to some sort of gathering that no doubt will involve alcohol. They then also have a complete lack of tolerance for those who are drinking and are ****y and annoyed the entire time.

I don't have a problem with someone that doesn't want to drink. I do have a problem with those that decide to go to something where there will be those who are drunk and then try to ruin it with their lack of tolerance and general ****yness.
 
There are two sides to this. I've seen many people that decide they need to go to some sort of gathering that no doubt will involve alcohol. They then also have a complete lack of tolerance for those who are drinking and are ****y and annoyed the entire time.

I don't have a problem with someone that doesn't want to drink. I do have a problem with those that decide to go to something where there will be those who are drunk and then try to ruin it with their lack of tolerance and general ****yness.

Not everyone who declines to drink has to be a complete dick about it.

'Want a beer ? No thanks, but if you have me a soda' is all that should ever be required.
 
Not everyone who declines to drink has to be a complete dick about it.

'Want a beer ? No thanks, but if you have me a soda' is all that should ever be required.

That's pretty much what I do. I'm going to Vegas in 10 days for a one night, and it's the first time I've been there since I quit drinking. Good news is it's only for 24 hours, better news is I've only gambled a couple times not drinking and it's no fun, so maybe I can forgo the gambling! :yes:
 
I think I will take a look at my "friends" and put myself in a better situation. Two of them understood my not drinking the third, not so much.
 
Not everyone who declines to drink has to be a complete dick about it.

'Want a beer ? No thanks, but if you have me a soda' is all that should ever be required.
Indeed. I guess the most common scenario I see is someone who brings their significant other to some sort of get together (like, at a bar) where one should expect some drinking to occur and said significant other ruins the entire night by being hostile about the drinking. Really both of their faults but annoying.
 
Indeed. I guess the most common scenario I see is someone who brings their significant other to some sort of get together (like, at a bar) where one should expect some drinking to occur and said significant other ruins the entire night by being hostile about the drinking. Really both of their faults but annoying.

I heard a great saying...

1 out of 10 people are *******s. If you are in a group of 10 people, and you can't spot who the ******* is, it's you.

I rarely drink...I've never "quit" per se, but I'll go months or even years without bothering to have a drink. That said, you wanna have a beer in my presence, be my guest...come over to my house, I'll probably even offer you one!
 
That's pretty much what I do. I'm going to Vegas in 10 days for a one night, and it's the first time I've been there since I quit drinking. Good news is it's only for 24 hours, better news is I've only gambled a couple times not drinking and it's no fun, so maybe I can forgo the gambling! :yes:


People watching while sober will be more entertaining.
 
That said, you wanna have a beer in my presence, be my guest...come over to my house, I'll probably even offer you one!


Same here…

Hopefully the-year-old pumpkin ale in the back of the refrigerator is still good…
 
That's pretty much what I do. I'm going to Vegas in 10 days for a one night, and it's the first time I've been there since I quit drinking. Good news is it's only for 24 hours, better news is I've only gambled a couple times not drinking and it's no fun, so maybe I can forgo the gambling! :yes:

If you want to reward yourself for not having a hangover, if you can go to Red Rocks in the morning shortly after sunrise for a hike. It's an amazing place.
 
Rant on
So my husband and I had some friends over. We go to their house occassionally but it was our turn to "host" the gathering. Made some burritos/tacos for supper with all the fixings. One of the guests brought over some Alcohol (Rye?) and when I poured myself some Cran Grape to go with dinner I got a "What you're not going to drink with dinner?!" I politely declined - I had a couple friends die from drinking to excess about 20 years ago. Drinking "for fun" stopped being fun around that time as well. So anyway to shut him up I pour some into my Cran grape. Big mistake. Not only did it make it taste horrible I ended up throwing it down the drain when he wasn't looking and refilling the cup with fresh Cran Grape.

Later I did take a shot or two of some other whiskey to be a good sport but frustrated that I can't say it to him because that could ruin a relationship so I share it with you my fine PoA community. Why push someone to drink if they don't want to? Oh you feel "uncomfortable" when your drinking and others aren't...well too bad.

Rant off

Your friend was less interested in your drinking as much as it was enabling for them not to be drinking alone.

Politely decline next time, and if they push the point then remind them "no means no, and if they are your friend they will respect that".

You might lose a "friend" over it... or they might realize that not everyone drinks like they do.
 
Indeed. I guess the most common scenario I see is someone who brings their significant other to some sort of get together (like, at a bar) where one should expect some drinking to occur and said significant other ruins the entire night by being hostile about the drinking. Really both of their faults but annoying.

In that situation, they tend to be more hostile about having been dragged to a place they didn't want to be in the first place. It is the relationship ballast that creates the bitchiness, not the presence or absence of alcohol.
 
I think I will take a look at my "friends" and put myself in a better situation. Two of them understood my not drinking the third, not so much.

I think you may be over thinking it, no need to "look" at your friends, you need to "look" in the mirror and realize only YOU can control YOU and if you simply do that the friend situation will work itself out one way or another.

That said, I love my beer!
 
Being peer pressured into doing things is dumb. Don't be dumb.

There's my deep thoughts for the morning.
 
Grew up with an alcoholic and drug addicted family, which turned me off at an early age from ever trying any of that ****!

I drink coffee:D. Probably too much.

Never been high (other than flying:lol:) and never had a desire to be.

My friends respect my decision not to partake in such, and I have a very low tolerance for people that can't control their substance intake. And those that try to pressure/guilt me into things:mad:
 
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There are two sides to this. I've seen many people that decide they need to go to some sort of gathering that no doubt will involve alcohol. They then also have a complete lack of tolerance for those who are drinking and are ****y and annoyed the entire time.

I don't have a problem with someone that doesn't want to drink. I do have a problem with those that decide to go to something where there will be those who are drunk and then try to ruin it with their lack of tolerance and general ****yness.
She invited someone to her house. He came with liquor and pressured his hostess to drink with him. He was the one being ****y.
 
She invited someone to her house. He came with liquor and pressured his hostess to drink with him. He was the one being ****y.

In reading the OPs story I wonder how much was pressure and how much was just teasing which turned into self-induced pressure. Then there's the fact that she has faked liking it before so how can her friends know what her true tastes are?
 
^^^

PLUS, some people, like myself, may offer repeatedly under the assumption that others may say no just to be polite in that you have brought your own drink and they may think it's rude to take some of it. Especially if the person has initially said no thanks in the past, but historically changed his/her mind when offered again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not pushy, could care less who drinks or who doesn't, I just am happy to share with my friends IF they want anything.

Sometimes I will decline a beer at first, then when it's clear I'll be there longer than expected, I'll accept a second offer.

This really shouldn't be difficult, if they are your friends, just accept or decline and move on, if they are offended and leave or never speak to you again, that is their problem.
 
The proper California alternative to alcohol is a dubbie. After just a few hits, you don't much care what other people are doing and all is well in the world.

A few years ago on a quiet summer evening I had gone out to dinner with my brother. He was driving and giving me a ride back to Ocean Beach so we could stop by my shop.

When we first drove into the beach community, we both noticed the distinctive smell of marijuana, except he had no clue what it was, so he asked me what that funny smell was. All I could do was laugh and explain it to him.

The next day I told my co worker about it, and she explained that the whole beach smelled like that every night in the summer, as the smoke wafts out from open windows, it was no big deal. I said you could probably get stoned in OB just going for a walk at night.

Myself, I think it is probably not a good idea to smoke dope then try to drive your airplane, I think there have been more than a few pilot autopsies that showed a significant amount of marijuana in the carcass, or what was left of it.

I don't know what is worse, someone offering you a drink, or someone offering you a hit off a funny cigarette that has been passed among the whole group.

Myself, I like Gatoraid.

-John
 
She invited someone to her house. He came with liquor and pressured his hostess to drink with him. He was the one being ****y.

Two sides to the topic in general, not the specific instance.
 
Funny occasion, yesterday. My friend and I were, as is common, out for dinner at an ocean-overlooking resort. She rarely drinks except for a very occasional glass of wine.
Ironically, it's upon her executive authorization that bills get paid for any liquors and wines that get shipped into Maine by her distribution firm which has exclusive rights to supply State of Maine. Her prime drink is a Diet Coke with lemon; and I'll compatibly order an iced tea.

So yesterday she surprised me when she ordered, "I think I'll splurge today for an Arnold Palmer." Unaware of its contents, but assuming spirits, I said, "Well -- in that case I'll have a Bacardi/Seven-Up with a wedge of lime. She just smiled and, after the servings had come I indicated my surprise and asked what the contents. I nearly collapsed when she said, "Mixture of lemonade and iced tea."

HR
 
My wife and I sat at a table next to two couples. The waiter asked them if they would like a glass of wine with their dinner. They mumbled something about being Baptist and not drinking. They mumbled some more, then said, "Yes. That sounds good, we're more 'Northern' Baptists anyway."
 
People watching while sober will be more entertaining.

Yes.
Years ago I was with some friends in Amsterdam, who just had to go buy pot. You can clearly see all the doped up people there, I decided I never wanted to look that stupid. Druggies just look stupid, drunks too. And druggies and drunks behind the wheel kill people.
 
Indeed. I guess the most common scenario I see is someone who brings their significant other to some sort of get together (like, at a bar) where one should expect some drinking to occur and said significant other ruins the entire night by being hostile about the drinking. Really both of their faults but annoying.


Even if it isn't hostile, somebody with a "annoyed" look on their face will soon start earning fewer invitations for them-self and their spouse.
 
There are two sides to this. I've seen many people that decide they need to go to some sort of gathering that no doubt will involve alcohol. They then also have a complete lack of tolerance for those who are drinking and are ****y and annoyed the entire time.

I don't have a problem with someone that doesn't want to drink. I do have a problem with those that decide to go to something where there will be those who are drunk and then try to ruin it with their lack of tolerance and general ****yness.
Kinda like the people who go out to the designated smoking area of a college or something similar to get a little "fresh air" and start hacking and making disgusted faces. Uhhhh....ya think you maybe shou'dve gone somewhere besides a designated smoking area if it bothers you that much?:rolleyes:
 
My wife and I are not heavy drinkers, but we are steady drinkers.:D Seriously, my wife is a marketing rep for a Napa winery so we drink our share of wine. I'm a big beer drinker on top of that and have one in the afternoon. Usually if we drink wine we start at supper time and finish it off by bed time. The thing is, I never keep track of what anyone else is drinking, I have enough on my hands keeping track of my own. Even though my wife markets wine, she never pushes it on anyone, even at tastings.
Some people get on a kick though. Around here it is Templeton Rye. For some reason they think they are something special if they drink it and are all, "come on, you gotta taste it." Stuff like that. I usually just laugh at them and drink what I want, after all, it is your glass, fill it with what you like.
 
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