Did your Mother not raise you correctly?

bbchien

bbchien

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
Feb 13, 2005
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Bolingbrook, IL
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Display name:
Bruce C
So, it's after hours and I get a call when I am at the bank (5:30) and the caller is not known to me and he wants to ask a question. I explain that it’s after hours, I’m in a quiet public place where everyone is going to hear, and I have no relationship to him, and That I do within reason answer after hours for pilots with whom I have a relationship. He doesn’t meet that standard.

Despite that, He proceeds with a long convoluted exegesis just as I am getting to the teller and he will not be interrupted. So I have the choice of just disconnecting or roaring at him, both rude. So I roar at him. In front of the line and teller.

What gives with acting like a gentleman? Decent human? Would you call a lawyer out of the blue Friday After hours? Is your after hours Friday question now a crisis? Did you understand anything in my reply? Do I really have to do the “Please state the nature of the medical emergency” robotic thing?

Coming home from the Symphony concert “The Emperor concerto”, wow) the phone rings once and stops. 914 number. Could be a call center I need to block, but I also take care of a number of Westchester airmen. So I dial *67 and call back and “oh I was just calling some AMEs because I had a question”.

“Well you got one”, and I did not give him any chance to ask and hung up. Sounded like a millennial who lives under his desk just messing around at 11:30 at night.....

What has happened to Respect? Decorum? Has everyone become a pig? I don’t even have a phone # on my website so they get it off some other. Am I going to have to go to two cellphones. WTH?

Or have I turned into Statler or Waldorf?
 
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Good job Bruce. Some idiots need to be told their idiots.
 
Cell phones have done this to us, and work to a degree. If I'm flying ALL freakin' day and I'm used to being asked to make phone calls and a lot of people will, can, and do answer phones after hours you can forget that there are people that don't want to talk when they have other things to do. I think one has to train themselves to just not answer the phone if they don't know the number and let the other person leave *gasp* a voice mail, or set up an auto response of some sort that you can flick on an iPhone that you aren't available to talk but will return a call later in response to a text.

Something like this: https://www.howtogeek.com/234741/how-to-customize-the-respond-with-text-messages-to-calls-on-iphone/
 
Yes, people call lawyers at all hours and seven days a week. And yes, if you take the call they expect you to work on their problem.

Your choice to answer the call or not. My mother raised me not to answer the phone during dinner, and that was before we even had answering machines, let alone phones that will convert voice mails to text so you know immediately if a message needs to be returned.
 
I use the phone for my convenience. The Pope could call and I'd send him through to voicemail unless I recognized his number.

You're in a public facing business, so you probably have to pick up most calls. Still, if I was in the teller line (WTF were you at the physical bank for anyway - that's so 20th century?) I'd have let the call go to VM and returned it in 10 minutes.
 
I think it happens in one way or another to all professionals. I will be working on a customers aircraft and on his clock for hours, then in walks a person that wants to talk about their aircraft.
I some times just dump on them.
 
I will respectfully point out you kinda hold yourself out over a spectrum of time zones.
 
It’s all about what the individual wants,never consider how you may have inconvenienced the other person.
 
Yes, there has been a general coarsening of manner and increase in lack of basic respect for others. I have no idea what can be done about it, except to ignore it and be as much of a gentleman as I can in response. Getting angry or upset does no good for anyone, and I certainly understand your frustration. Please don't let this unfortunate incident affect the good you've been doing the rest of us over the years. We appreciate it, even if we've personally not needed your services.
 
In this age of cell phones, I start almost every conversation, regardless of the time of day or night, with:

"Is this a bad time?"

Interestingly being polite can sometimes backfire as this has caused a few to hang up on me. When I call back they say that it makes me sound like a sales/marketing call.
 
I guess spam phone calls can be a good thing. Partly as a result, if I don't recognize the caller, I don't answer, especially "after hours." I figure (1) I can't control what they do, but I can control my response: and (2) if it's important, they will leave a message.
 
So, if you didn’t want to have a conversation with a stranger why did you answer the phone for a number you were unfamiliar with?

Just sayin

Then, when he ignored your statement that you couldn’t talk, hanging up would not have been rude.
 
Clip4 said:
I will respectfully point out you kinda hold yourself out over a spectrum of time zones.
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Of which common curtesy should take into consideration the time zone of the caller’s recipient, so that’s not an excuse.

Having respect for others seems nonexistent these days, unfortunately.
 
midlifeflyer said:
I guess spam phone calls can be a good thing. Partly as a result, if I don't recognize the caller, I don't answer, especially "after hours." I figure (1) I can't control what they do, but I can control my response: and (2) if it's important, they will leave a message.
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The latest spam trick is to leave a message saying "Press 2 to be placed on our Do Not Call list".
 
In this age of internet keyboard commandos and spam bots, it seems that common courtesy and respect for time is no longer a given consideration.

@Dr. Bruce: May I suggest Google Voice? (Free service) I have a number it’s Google Voice that I forward to my cell phone. I can turn that forwarding on or off using the mobile app... but it also translates any voicemail message so I don’t have to answer. If the caller leaves a voicemail message, I will be sent a text translation that I then can decide if I want to respond to. That also preserves my cell phone number as a private number that I give to my friends and family.
 
rtk11 said:
In this age of internet keyboard commandos and spam bots, it seems that common courtesy and respect for time is no longer a given consideration.

@Dr. Bruce: May I suggest Google Voice? (Free service) I have a number it’s Google Voice that I forward to my cell phone. I can turn that forwarding on or off using the mobile app... but it also translates any voicemail message so I don’t have to answer. If the caller leaves a voicemail message, I will be sent a text translation that I then can decide if I want to respond to. That also preserves my cell phone number as a private number that I give to my friends and family.
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I do that as well. Google Voice even does text messages.
 
I love google voice. Except that google now has every phone message I’m ever left by anyone.
 
no worries Doc, Rough River is around the corner!
 
You’ve probably been too nice for too long and now it’s coming back to haunt you. You probably have a few decades of “jerk” to let loose to neutralize it. Have fun with it, don’t get mad.:D
 
If I'm not sure I don't answer, if it's important to them they will leave a message, if it's important to me, I'll return the call. I also have a Pixel phone, it allows me to screen calls. I push the screen button, it asks the caller the reason for the call, that gets translated real time to text I can read, then I can pick up or send to VM. I think this might be a great option for you Bruce since you want to be responsive to your signed on clients.
 
Well, personally I wouldn’t call after hours shy of a emergency, though time zones can cause oops calls.

That said you made the choice of using a phone that you always keep on your person for a business line, I’d ether go to a automated call forwarding service (like google voice) and have it just shut off forwarding after 5p, or accept you’re going to get after hours calls, I mean that’s the whole point of listing a 24/7 cell phone isn’t it?
 
Salty said:
Then, when he ignored your statement that you couldn’t talk, hanging up would not have been rude.
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This. Roaring over the phone at a rude caller who won't take a hint hurts you more than it does them.

Just hang up. If the same number calls you back, let it go to voicemail and deal with it later. Doing it in public just makes you look bad and probably raises your stress level even more.
 
I'm confused...what's "after hours"?

I have taken to looking at the caller id. If it is a contact that is already in my phone, I'll answer it. If it isn't and it's a real person calling, then I expect they'll leave a message if it's important. After they do that, I'll add them to my contact list.
 
When I am in a place where I don't want to take calls, I turn off the ringer. I admit that this is not a perfect solution, however, because I often forget to turn it back on!
 
I have never used my phone's "do not disturb" feature, but it seems like it might be helpful in these kinds of cases. It will send calls straight to voice mail if you are driving, or during specific hours. There may be other options too.
 
Many people have a certain expectation of a professional enterprise, one of them being that many businesses have voicemail, answering services, or specific hours. Many people, as Doc Bruce found out, will call when it is convenient for them, and not necessarily the business, likely expecting to leave a message.

Lots of professionals have myriad reasons to answer all calls at all hours, though, and it’s nuce to be able to get ahold of a human at weird times. Somewhere in the middle is happiness.

Yeah, a lot of people are selfish, rude, self-centered and shallow. The rest are far worse.
 
bbchien said:
Or have I turned into Statler or Waldorf?
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You are correct in your deduction that decorum and mutual respect are not being cultivated in our society, but I didn't have to tell you that. You already knew that.

The very important take-away from this is the question that we all must answer for ourselves. Are you, in fact, Statler or Waldorf?

If it helps, Waldorf has the Mustache, and Statler is taller with the chin-of-great-significance.
 
Personally, I'm Oscar the Grouch most of the time. My friends know to call and leave a voice mail. My students and everyone else knows to send an email. I refuse to be subject to anyone else's apparent crisis.
 
Brad Smith said:
I blame Alexander Graham Bell. He started it all.
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Here’s a little known fact. Most people mistakenly believe the first call was, “Mr. Watson, come here, I want to see you”. This is just an urban legend. The first call was actually, “Hi, this is Rachel from Card Services”.
 
Dear Dr Bruce....you’re not an ER or trauma physician, so I don’t understand why it’s critical for you to answer calls unknown or questionable after business hours. Perhaps you’re too nice at times?
 
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