Crop dusted my wife...

tawood

tawood

En-Route
Joined
Sep 22, 2015
Messages
2,558
Location
SE Michigan
Display Name
Display name:
Tim
Where I come from, “crop dusting” can mean having flatulence while walking past someone...it’s particularly effective when the person you are walking past is seated. It’s even more effective if your flatulence is of the silent variety...

Sorry, but when I read post after post pushing a book called “The Crop Duster’s Wife”, it brought this to my mind... this may shed some light as to why I am now divorced.
 
oh yes....we are very much familiar with this terminology in our household as well as "tooting", "floating an air biscuit", "pushing dirty air", "a barking spider", "sharting".......and my personal favorite,"The One Cheek Sneak".
 
When I toot at home around my grandson, he laughs and says pop pop the doorbell's ringing again. Our little fart joke.
 
Last edited:
hide yer daughters, hide yer wives, they're crop dustin' e'rbody out here.
 
Something smells, anyone been eating beans?
 
The husband literally ‘split wind’ if ya get my drift.
 
Norman said:
Blazing Saddles was one of the most entertaining movies I ever watched.
Click to expand...

John Wayne was asked to read the script for a part. He handed it back and said I can't do this, it is too dirty. But I'll be the first in line to see it.....
 
I crop dusted an empty aisle in Walmart once. I stopped at the end and looked back. There were some people, a family of 4 obviously not from the local area that turned and walked up the aisle. They hit the cloud, stopped, and looked accusingly at each other.

My wife asked me what was so funny.......so I told her. She got mad at me, then later walking to our vehicle she started laughing.
 
I crop dusted myself once...

Empty aisle in Cabela's. I knew I needed to get out of there. Moved to the next aisle and a Cabela's employee walked up to me just then to see if I needed help finding anything. As I was mentally congratulating myself for getting out of the crop dusted aisle just in the nick of time, I mentioned to the guy that I was looking for a pair of lightweight hunting boots. He said, "Follow me." He took me right back to the dusted aisle and started showing me a couple different boots.
 
Once upon a time when I was asleep, I delivered a mighty blast which was enough to wake me up. For whatever reason (at 3AM) I thought it was funny enough that I started laughing uncontrollably. Which, of course, awakened SWMBO into a gas cloud slightly less toxic than the one over Bhopal. I barely survived (the gas cloud or her wrath). She moved to a different room for the night.

I caught the stink eye for a day for that one.

Still makes me laugh.
 
kyleb said:
Once upon a time when I was asleep, I delivered a mighty blast which was enough to wake me up. For whatever reason (at 3AM) I thought it was funny enough that I started laughing uncontrollably. Which, of course, awakened SWMBO into a gas cloud slightly less toxic than the one over Bhopal. I barely survived (the gas cloud or her wrath). She moved to a different room for the night.

I caught the stink eye for a day for that one.

Still makes me laugh.
Click to expand...

My brother “plays turtle” with his wife. When he feels a particularly nasty beef coming on, he pull the covers up over their heads and holds it there. How he’s still married I’ll never know.
 
Bill Jennings said:
My brother “plays turtle” with his wife. When he feels a particularly nasty beef coming on, he pull the covers up over their heads and holds it there. How he’s still married I’ll never know.
Click to expand...

Hell thats an old as my ass, probably longer. My wife loved it. NOT!
 
When I was at Tech, we had this game called "6 inches." Object was to crop dust someone within 6 inches of their face.

Sprawled out on the couch to watch TV was dangerous territory! :rofl:
 
Bill Jennings said:
My brother “plays turtle” with his wife. When he feels a particularly nasty beef coming on, he pull the covers up over their heads and holds it there. How he’s still married I’ll never know.
Click to expand...

My wife sleeps completely under the covers, something she did in the Philippines to get away from mosquitoes.

She makes it too easy for me.....
 
Sometimes ya gotta really hold them down, other hand holding the covers. A lot of multi-tasking going on. But it's worth it, or was. Doubt I could get away with it now though. :D
 
Going to the Dr office with my daughter, walked into the empty elevator that had been crop dusted.
We suffered the 2 floors ride, and as we walked out the only person waiting to take the elevator was a neighbour...who is
very prim and proper. Imagine her thoughts about us as she entered the elevator that still stunk.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Sweet! Where can I find this book?
I can't find a reference to it anywhere.
Click to expand...

It’s probably right next to The Bridges of Madison County at the bookstore, but I’ll let you go into that aisle to find it. I ain’t going there. :)

Bill Jennings said:
My brother “plays turtle” with his wife. When he feels a particularly nasty beef coming on, he pull the covers up over their heads and holds it there. How he’s still married I’ll never know.
Click to expand...

We call that a “Dutch Oven” ‘round these parts.
 
denverpilot said:
It’s probably right next to The Bridges of Madison County at the bookstore, but I’ll let you go into that aisle to find it. I ain’t going there. :)



We call that a “Dutch Oven” ‘round these parts.
Click to expand...

More than once have I been Dutch Ovened by a student in an airplane. Cessna's it's okay, Pipers you have no choice but to suffer.
 
Joseph Schimnich said:
More than once have I been Dutch Ovened by a student in an airplane. Cessna's it's okay, Pipers you have no choice but to suffer.
Click to expand...

The worst place I've ever been beefed is the choir loft at church. Yes, I sing in the choir. So there you are seated in the loft, and just before singing a big number, someone (I think I know who) lets out one nasty eye watering nausea inducing SBD beef. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and now I have to stand up and take in many many deep breaths and sing. Oh joy. I thought I was going to barf.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top