Contacting current (female) owner of my former airplane - wanting to avoid any perception of "cyberstalking"

RussR

RussR

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I owned an aircraft for 11 years, it was the first and only airplane I owned, so I have a certain emotional attachment to it. I sold it 9 years ago, and like many former owners I'm sure, I look it up every so often on flightaware to see how much it's flying, and where. I know it has been through several owners in several states over those years.

Recently I looked it up and it was actually in the air at the time, doing pattern work at an airport on the east coast. I wondered if that airport was on liveatc.net, and sure enough it was! So I got to listen to real-time radio calls, which was pretty neat. Even better, it sounded like a student pilot practicing. As a long-time CFI, I thought that was great and I'm glad "my" airplane was being used for that purpose (if I was right).

Interested, I went on the aircraft registry to get the owner's name, hoping maybe I could contact the current owner. Maybe on one of the social media sites. I'm kind of curious how it's doing, if it's had any upgrades, any current pictures of it, etc. From the FAA's airplane registry I got the owner's name and address, and from the airman registry verified that the owner was indeed a student pilot.

A search on social media didn't help any, I guess the name and its variants are a little too common.

So my option is to send the current owner a letter in the mail, given that I have the address from the aircraft registry. And I don't mind doing that.

But have I at some point crossed any lines of "cyber stalking"? After all, I was literally intentionally listening in to that exact person's transmissions online. However, all of my sources have been public databases. But, you know, I now have the owner's address, and therefore know where they live, which although businesses do this all the time, would it be seen as a little different for an individual?

There's one more detail I've left out - the current owner is a woman - and judging by the voice, perhaps fairly young (although obviously that's subjective and I could be way wrong). Women on here, does that change the equation at all? Would you be okay with someone going through what I did to find you and send you a letter, or would that cross the line into creepiness? In the letter I would put my contact information (social, email, phone) - would you be likely to respond?

I bet most people on here will say "of course contact her, it's no big deal", but I will admit, having a teenage daughter has made me much more aware of this kind of stuff than I would have been just a few years ago.
 
RussR said:
...but I will admit, having a teenage daughter has made me much more aware of this kind of stuff than I would have been just a few years ago.
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It would take some of the edge off a letter if you included something like, "I was telling my teenage daughter about the plane I used to own, so we looked it up on the FAA site to see what became of it." Go from there. Maybe include a sentence or two about some memorable experience you had with it, especially if you can say something like, "My wife and I flew to ABC...."

That might remove some of the creepiness, especially if you omit any mention of POA.
 
Include your photo of you in your Clown suit standing in front of the plane, that will diffuse the situation.

Just kidding.

As much as I want to say "what if you were female and she was male," I believe Half Fast has the right angle to pursue, to attempt to deflect certain sensitivities should they exist. Most of all just be honest.
 
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Half Fast said:
It would take some of the edge off a letter if you included something like, "I was telling my teenage daughter about the plane I used to own, so we looked it up on the FAA site to see what became of it." Go from there. Maybe include a sentence or two about some memorable experience you had with it, especially if you can say something like, "My wife and I flew to ABC...."

That might remove some of the creepiness, especially if you omit any mention of POA.
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A good FBI profiler will see right through that.

I mean.. I've heard.
 
You’re overthinking this. Send a nice letter stating you heard your old N-number on the air and wanted to say hi and see how the plane’s been.

Stuff doesn’t get weird until the current owner replies with “didI sound sexy on the air?”
 
TCABM said:
You’re overthinking this. Send a nice letter stating you heard your old N-number on the air and wanted to say hi and see how the plane’s been.

Stuff doesn’t get weird until the current owner replies with “didI sound sexy on the air?”
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...or she asks if you like gladiator movies.
 
Send her a letter offering to buy the plane. I get dozens of those. Haven't considered any of them stalking attempts but then again that's just one middle aged dude trying to get a good deal on another middle aged dude's plane.
 
I did something sorta similar to what @RussR is describing, though with just enough difference that I wasn't worried about it being creepy. Dad had a Luscombe on a dirt strip in Idaho in the early 50's, but he passed away without me ever finding a photo (or the N number) of the plane. Some years later, I finally found a couple of photos, and found the plane was still flying out in the midwest, so I sent the owner a letter with the bits of the plane's history that I did know, and copies of the photos. I quickly got a letter back from the delighted owner, who had done a spectacular restoration of the plane, and was very happy to have some photos of it when it was nearly-new. He, in turn, sent a bunch of photos of the post-restoration version, which I was thrilled to get.
 
Send off some pictures of the plane and stories of some of the flights it took you on. Maybe she sends something back, maybe not.

“I found some pictures of my plane and wondered how it was doing. I found the N# in the registration database and think you are the current owner. I thought you might be interested in those pictures.” And don’t send pervy pics.

@GaryM posted while I was typing. I think I pretty much said something similar.
 
The funny thing that I have actually done all that AND flown with the current owner in her plane and think of her as a friend. That was the plane that got totaled after a student incident and I was surprised to see it up on the registry and flying again. Ended up for about a year based on the same field with my Luscombe and it was kinda cool to see it in good hands.
 
I've had great conversations with previous owners of my airplanes.
I would ignore gender when considering this.
I'm sure you will make it clear that it's about the airplane.
 
RussR said:
I bet most people on here will say "of course contact her, it's no big deal", but I will admit, having a teenage daughter has made me much more aware of this kind of stuff than I would have been just a few years ago.
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I guess I'm not most people because I think it's kind of weird. Your memories of the airplane have nothing to do with her. It's an inanimate object; your feelings about it are exclusively within you. My suggestion is to write whatever letter you think you'd like to write to her, put it away for a week, and then read it as though you were her. If you feel like she'd get more out of reading it than you got out of writing it, then send it.
 
Thanks all for your responses so far. For those of you asking what I want to get out of the interaction, I did say the following in my post but I see it's kind of buried in there.

I'm kind of curious how it's doing, if it's had any upgrades, any current pictures of it, etc.
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That's pretty much it. If the plane was used for her to get her Private, like it seems it was, I think that would be fun to know too.

When I owned the plane, the former owner (who stopped flying for medical reasons) told me several years later that he occasionally would look it up to see what kind of adventures it was getting up to these days. I was happy to share with him stories of where I'd flown it. It was enjoyable for me as well to talk to him, tell him the upgrades I'd made, etc. I wouldn't mind hearing that kind of thing from the current owner.
 
I agree that your chances of getting a response are much better if you provide information about the plane (pictures, etc) instead of a just a letter requesting what might be considered personal.

I’m not a woman but I wouldn’t respond to a plain letter asking about my plane.
 
Somebody once sent me some unsolicited pictures of my T-Craft taken 30 years earlier. I thought that was pretty cool.
 
This is a tough one. Especially in these days when the vast majority of personal correspondence is digital, a personal letter from a stranger seems weird. I’d think it was weird if I received one and I’m pretty much the opposite of the phrase “young woman.”

PS. I just ran the scenario past my wife. Like you I left out it was a young woman until the end, at which point her eyes went wide.
“Would you consider it stalking?”​
“Yes. Rip it up!”​
 
Apparently, I am a weird one. I wouldn't be weirded out unless you said something that wasn't public information or asked personal questions (or any questions except about the plane). I don't know if I'd reply, but I might.
 
You could always start the letter (or email) with, "So... I was stalking my old plane yesterday. Just wanted to know what it was up to. How's it been treating you?"
 
Dana said:
Somebody once sent me some unsolicited pictures of my T-Craft taken 30 years earlier. I thought that was pretty cool.
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Someone once sent me the first 20 years of logs that were missing when I bought the plane, along with a photo from when it was new. That was a sweet surprise indeed.
 
OTOH, I wonder how the lady’s husband might react to a letter. Might @RussR become the stalkee?
 
2-Bit Speed said:
You could always start the letter (or email) with, "So... I was stalking my old plane yesterday. Just wanted to know what it was up to. How's it been treating you?"
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Or something like...''Hiya toots... I see ya got something I want''...

Or find her husband/boyfriend and tell him ''I used to have one like that until a man at the bank took her away from me. No, I'm not talking about the plane...''

(sorry, I would not suggest these at all... but I did see a 3 Stooges episode last night...)
 
Surely this person has a social media profile that would be easier to make casual contact about the aircraft.
 
midlifeflyer said:
This is a tough one. Especially in these days when the vast majority of personal correspondence is digital, a personal letter from a stranger seems weird. I’d think it was weird if I received one and I’m pretty much the opposite of the phrase “young woman.”

PS. I just ran the scenario past my wife. Like you I left out it was a young woman until the end, at which point her eyes went wide.
“Would you consider it stalking?”​
“Yes. Rip it up!”​
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Thanks for the experiment with your wife. Are you implying that she thought it would be fine UNTIL you revealed it was a young woman?
 
so maybe she identifies as a man....and this whole thing is mute....or moot? ;)
 
SoonerAviator said:
Surely this person has a social media profile that would be easier to make casual contact about the aircraft.
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That was my first thought as well, but the name is common enough (and with lots of possible permutations of the first name), that a search on the various socials resulted in a lot of results but nothing obvious (like a profile picture wearing a headset or standing in front of an airplane).

If I had been able to find her that way, I probably wouldn't be asking the question here, as that seems less creepy to me that the fact that I know her address.

I WAS able to contact another (then-current) owner a few years ago on linkedin, but he didn't seem very interested. Former airline pilot with an easy name and "pilot" all over his resume.
 
Couple of years after we bought our house an older lady knocked on our door. She was in town for some function and this was the house that her father built back in '54 and that's where she and her brother grew up. She had older photos of the construction process and them as kids and the old yard... I insisted that she stayed for dinner. We had interesting conversations. She actually left us those photos, which we digitized, framed and now those are part of the house decor.
 
Maybe a little more information about what I'm hoping to achieve.

The current owner's gender is irrelevant to why I want to contact them, but as discussed above, it seems relevant in 2024 for HOW I contact them for best chances of a response.

As previously mentioned, the previous owner to me would call me up every few years just to see what I was up to and how the plane was treating me. He had to get out of flying due to Parkinson's, and I actually enjoyed talking with him and telling him what I was up to.

When I sold the plane, the buyer's title search agent found an issue with the title from a previous sale back in the 1980's. Yes, the 80's! To resolve it, I had to contact that previous owner to get a couple of signatures, from him and his son. We actually had a really great talk, he remembered the plane and told me about some of the trips they went on. Super friendly guy.

Sometimes a plane is just a mechanical device. But knowing that we were talking about our experiences in the same plane from 30 years apart was pretty neat. I'd kind of like to continue that with whoever the current owner is.

Thank you @Ashara Keliyn , that is exactly the same kind of thing I'm talking about.
 
SoonerAviator said:
Surely this person has a social media profile that would be easier to make casual contact about the aircraft.
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RussR said:
That was my first thought as well, but the name is common enough (and with lots of possible permutations of the first name), that a search on the various socials resulted in a lot of results but nothing obvious (like a profile picture wearing a headset or standing in front of an airplane).

If I had been able to find her that way, I probably wouldn't be asking the question here, as that seems less creepy to me that the fact that I know her address.
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To be perfectly honest, getting a social media message would be creepier to me. Maybe it is because I try to keep all accounts with my real name private and limited. Maybe it wouldn't bother a woman with a public account used to getting messages from strangers, though. My real name and address are matters of public record, so it wouldn't creep me out if someone sent me a letter. Going to all the effort of searching up any social media accounts I might have would feel a lot creepier and more "stalkerish" to me.
 
SkyChaser said:
To be perfectly honest, getting a social media message would be creepier to me. Maybe it is because I try to keep all accounts with my real name private and limited. Maybe it wouldn't bother a woman with a public account used to getting messages from strangers, though. My real name and address are matters of public record, so it wouldn't creep me out if someone sent me a letter. Going to all the effort of searching up any social media accounts I might have would feel a lot creepier and more "stalkerish" to me.
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If she's young enough, she might never even open a letter in the mail lol.
 
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