Concerns about flying after friend killed in crash

Do those of you who've been around this much longer than I get similar pangs when you know the aircraft rather than the pilot?

I knew this plane (N87RY) very well as a passenger and right-seat-wannabe. It was one of the factors that inspired me to get my own PPL. When this crash happened, I was on a hiatus from flying for unrelated reasons, but reading about this definitely extended that break by a few months or maybe longer. As I pilot, I knew to tell myself not to trust the airplane, but this one felt different: I'd always been a passenger. I did trust it.

It looks like a torquing error made during overhaul during the new owner's first year or so with the plane caused it to throw a rod, so you could argue that this vulnerability wasn't there before. But it's still tough for me to believe it could have gone down sometimes, and I still can't see a Bonanza without thinking about this wonderful but tragic example.
 
It’s not easy. I investigate crashes for a living and dealing with grieving families is very difficult. I’ve had friends, good pilots crash. Good, capable airplanes, helicopters that’ I’ve been on all have crashed and burned since. Everyone deals with it differently, but I try to get back in the saddle and push through, absorbing the lessons learned from the crashes.
 
The-Flying-Lawyer said:
Do those of you who've been around this much longer than I get similar pangs when you know the aircraft rather than the pilot?

I knew this plane (N87RY) very well as a passenger and right-seat-wannabe. It was one of the factors that inspired me to get my own PPL. When this crash happened, I was on a hiatus from flying for unrelated reasons, but reading about this definitely extended that break by a few months or maybe longer. As I pilot, I knew to tell myself not to trust the airplane, but this one felt different: I'd always been a passenger. I did trust it.

It looks like a torquing error made during overhaul during the new owner's first year or so with the plane caused it to throw a rod, so you could argue that this vulnerability wasn't there before. But it's still tough for me to believe it could have gone down sometimes, and I still can't see a Bonanza without thinking about this wonderful but tragic example.
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Yes.

Four years ago, the Remos LSA I'd been flying since 2012 was involved in a fatal crash at a small airport north of Santa Fe, NM. I'd met both victims before, though I didn't know them well, but it was the loss of that little airplane - the first plane I'd flown as a certificated pilot, the first plane in which I'd carried non-pilot passengers and the plane in which I'd logged 1/3 my total hours - that wrecked me.

I was back in the air one month later, but it didn't feel the same. It also affected my work. I finally went to see a counselor, for the first time in my life. She helped me work through those emotions, which included my guilt over mourning the loss of an airplane more than the loss of the two people onboard.

I flew a bit more often after that, but I haven't been at the controls as PIC since 2018. The company that'd rented the plane got out of the LSA game and now focuses on higher-level training.

More recently, the loss of the Collings Foundation's B-17 last October brought very similar emotions to bear, and this time I also knew several of the people onboard personally. I feel those losses deeply, too... but not in the same way I still mourn N28GX.
 
I'm training to be an A&P mechanic now. I have increased respect for those guys who repair an airplane and put their name in the logbook as doing so. I can understand their thoughts when they hear of an airplane that they worked on going down and its always in the back of their mind if what they did caused the crash. I was a jet engine mechanic in the Air Force before I became a controller. I remember one incident in which an F-16 that we trimmed the engine on ended up crashing because of engine failure. I wasn't the 7 level who signed off the logbooks but I was the one in the cockpit running it so my name was in the aircraft records as the last mechanic to run the aircraft before that fatal flight. After the investigation, it was found that a part failed in the engine that had nothing to do with what we did, but until the final report, all three of us involved had thoughts of guilt. We did everything by the book and that's all we could do.

As a pilot AND a mechanic, just do the best you can according to your training and your ability. Know your limits and ask for help if you need it. Nobody will ever fault you for that. As you get more experienced, your lists of things to look for that may be wrong with the aircraft increases. This is a GOOD thing. Nobody really checks electrical connections on a pre-flight but after my alternator failure last Saturday 3/4 of the way to my destination, that's one more thing that I'll check in the future. What used to be a little push on the alternator belt has become grab a flashlight and check the connectors to it as well. There's no guarantees that it will prevent everything but the more you know about your aircraft and it's systems, the more you know what to look for and chances are greater that you may scrub a flight for safety. That isn't a bad thing.
 
I was pre-flighting my plane a couple of weeks ago and a plane skidded off the runway and into the hangar near mine... hellova sound. I watched the pilot extricate himself and run as fast as he could in case of fire, there was none. For about a minute I asked myself if this hobby of ours is worth it, "...but for the grace of God go I..." and all that... The pilot who is a really great and flying-experienced guy actually strengthened my resolve to continue because he was so matter of fact about the whole event...
All the flying legends have had near brushes and none of them walked away weakening their resolve, rather, they merely got better and wiser and helped the rest of us embrace each bad event, no matter how tragic, as a learning experience and stark reminder that what we do is hard and it is dangerous IF... we don't pay attention up there. Humanity will not ever stop flying. And whether we like or not, we have a responsibility for each other and future generations of flyers.
 
Don't know... experienced pilot in a plane he knew well...
 
I’m sorry for your loss.

Flying is a risk but we enjoy what we do.

We can die from all kinds of activity’s that are risky, but there is one thing we can die doing that’s not riskey......
Sleeping,

So my moto is, enjoy what ever your doing and live life to the fullest
 
flightwriter said:
Yes.

Four years ago, the Remos LSA I'd been flying since 2012 was involved in a fatal crash at a small airport north of Santa Fe, NM. I'd met both victims before, though I didn't know them well, but it was the loss of that little airplane - the first plane I'd flown as a certificated pilot, the first plane in which I'd carried non-pilot passengers and the plane in which I'd logged 1/3 my total hours - that wrecked me.

I was back in the air one month later, but it didn't feel the same. It also affected my work. I finally went to see a counselor, for the first time in my life. She helped me work through those emotions, which included my guilt over mourning the loss of an airplane more than the loss of the two people onboard.

I flew a bit more often after that, but I haven't been at the controls as PIC since 2018. The company that'd rented the plane got out of the LSA game and now focuses on higher-level training.

More recently, the loss of the Collings Foundation's B-17 last October brought very similar emotions to bear, and this time I also knew several of the people onboard personally. I feel those losses deeply, too... but not in the same way I still mourn N28GX.
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It’s ok. Flying machines are more than the sum of their parts to aviators. The only time my wife has ever expressed jealousy was when she watched me caress a prop at an air show. I tried to explain how special she was but to my wife it was just another airplane.
 
In the 5 years I was involved in IAC aerobatics, I made 5 good friends. 3 of them died doing acro or related activities. It definitely caused me to stop and question what I was doing. IMO the key to dealing with it is to look hard at what happened and be willing to learn the lessons presented, regardless of your emotional involvement. Nobody wants to believe their friends did dumb things that got themselves killed, so we look for extenuating circumstances beyond their control. It makes us feels better, but leads to a failure to hold the pilot accountable. Once you start believing that pilots are falling out of the sky for reasons they could not prevent, the conclusion is inescapable: we are all spinning a giant roulette wheel with our lives.
 
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I also know of a person that died earlier this year on a flight from home back to school at Michigan State and along with him 3 other souls perished in the crash. I will forever be impacted by this event. It didn't stop me from flying but it definitely made me think about my hobby and spend some time adjusting my minimums etc.

I think part of the risk taking behavior that all of us pilots have in our blood stream also comes with a certain level of denial that we see mentioned here multiple times (It wont happen to me attitude). A little bit of denial is good otherwise we would be scared to do anything, but these close to home crashes serve to keep us closer to reality and remind us that we take a big risk going up.
If that reminder produces a healthy response, and makes us double check things and respect weather/danger etc. then keep flying. If it makes you freeze and inhibits you from enjoying flight, then its not healthy and either seek counseling or take a break from flight until you are in a good spot.
 
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