Coddled college kids

ArrowFlyer86

ArrowFlyer86

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The Little Arrow That Could
A bit of a rant here...

So I noticed my neighbors are loading up a semi truck with a professional moving company. I thought "wow they're moving? I didn't even see a moving sign! They sold in a hurry". The fact that they recently remodeled made it kind of a double shocker. So I stopped by to talk to them for a minute.

Turns out no, they're not moving. They were surprised I thought that. No, they're just moving their daughter to college.

That's right. Somehow someone who just turned 18 has managed to amass enough stuff to require a full ******** 53' semi truck in order to go to college. And apparently all of that stuff has to go, parting with it any of it during the school year would just be too difficult.

IDK about those of you who went to college, or skipped college and moved out on your own after high school... but genuinely curious how many of your got an Audi RS 5, a posh, loft luxury dorm (which required a waiver from their college since all freshman are supposed to live in dorms), and had your parents write a letter to your college getting you excused from the first week of school b/c of moving company labor delays? All things my neighbors nearly bragged about doing. By the way, I had to google the car. It's like 75k$! That's just a normal grad gift on top of paying for out of state tuition?

Better yet, do you think if you had gotten a windfall like that -- that you would have gone into school (or come out of school) any more or less prepared to live life as an independent adult?

I know each generation tends to think that the incoming generation is coddled and weak, but after this... I've lost most hope for humanity. Whatever happened to the cold, cinder-block walls and horrendous bunk beds of the yesteryears? The shared bathrooms that the deadbeats in the adjacent room refuses to clean up. The POS window-mounted air conditioner that somehow makes air hotter rather than cold. Isn't college supposed to be as much about living with privations and learning how to function on your own as it supposed to be about education itself?

I mean, when I look back at school some of the most fun I ever had was going to 0.10$ beer night at the bar (every wednesday when they would drain the taps and give you a mystery beer of whatever they needed to get rid of). Or equally fun was pulling all my coins together to afford late night taco bell. Or laughing at my friends who would donate plasma so they could afford to buy a pack of cigarettes that had to last them all week. In college all my money was earned in a crappy hourly job working for the school, so that money meant something to me. And with that shoestring budget you could still have a blast!

And forget the moving truck, my moving allowance was "does your shi* fit in the van so we can haul it in 1 trip? If not, it's staying here". And good god, a brand new Audi? My parents made me sell my janky as*, suspension-squeaking-everytime-i-hit-a-god-damn-bump car. They knew if I'd moved with it they'd be getting a phone call from me begging for a car payment or gas money (at best) and calling from jail with a DUI at worst! (seriously, send your kids to school with an uber gift card, not a car, unless they have a really legit reason for one).

But my question is... are those days gone? Is this now all about glitz+glam+comfort and less about having a new eye-opening experience where you learn how to function as an adult, using your own labor and resources to make it work? If so, then this world is doomed.
 
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Depends on the parents. Greatly.

We have a young lady living with us to go to school who is working her tail off, driving a 15ish year old Toyota and working as well as going to school. The reason she lives with us is she & our daughter grew up together and she needed a place to stay.

So it happens, but there were folks driving new BMWs when I went to school at a state school. Both in the 1970's and again in the 90's. Depends on the parents...
 
It’s a Spectrum. Spoiled Kids and Kids working late night jobs living in non A/C dorms eating Ramen 7 days a week.

When the OP’s Young Lady meets the real world, if she ever does, things will change for her in a heartbeat.

Cheers
 
Oh for sure. To be clear, when I was in school there were unquestionably wealthy kids (though the most opulent and easy to spot at my school were the international students). But it was still definitely, definitely the exception.

It just shocks me that parents think that is somehow a "better" way to go to college, or that it will improve the outcome in some way.
 
I hear your pain brotha.

I am happy to report that like @eman1200 whose greatest gift was that his parents kicked him out of the house, they are doing just fine on their own. And I had my doubts.
 
You have to pity the students who spend their four years in the dorms,a true learning experience.a luxury would be a small fridge and a bicycle. Let’s not talk about what students study for their major.
 
frfly172 said:
You have to pity the students who spend their four years in the dorms,a true learning experience.a luxury would be a small fridge and a bicycle. Let’s not talk about what students study for their major.
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A bicycle was out of the question for me, and my school was huge for biking. I survived with just a nice pair of tennis shoes and a bus pass!
 
Sac Arrow said:
I hear your pain brotha.

I am happy to report that like @eman1200 whose greatest gift was that his parents kicked him out of the house, they are doing just fine on their own. And I had my doubts.
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Idk about that. @eman1200 just pitched "hookers and blow" for the POA Osh Kosh brick quote. I'm thinking he might have some unresolved demons from being kicked out :D
 
Tom Wells said:
But my question is... are those days gone? Is this now all about glitz+glam+comfort and less about having a new eye-opening experience where you learn how to function as an adult, using your own labor and resources to make it work? If so, then this world is doomed.
Click to expand...

Did you ever see the movie "Soul Man" (1986 comedy)?

but more on point: look at the number of parents today that have to drive their kids hither and yon - gone are the days of taking the bus or walking or riding a bicycle.
 
Bob Noel said:
Did you ever see the movie "Soul Man" (1986 comedy)?

but more on point: look at the number of parents today that have to drive their kids hither and yon - gone are the days of taking the bus or walking or riding a bicycle.
Click to expand...

But who is to blame? This is my coddled kids, pretty much due to my wife. I always told them walk or ride a bike. But she would drive them 3 blocks to school.
 
TommyG said:
But who is to blame? This is my coddled kids, pretty much due to my wife. I always told them walk or ride a bike. But she would drive them 3 blocks to school.
Click to expand...
And we as a society are much less risk tolerant especially with our kids than prior generations. To be fair awful things happened sometimes. But we as a species are far more motivated by narrative than data. So headlines and reporters talking up the admittedly horrendous crime of a child being kidnapped and worse makes parents take action where pointing out that the children are more likely to die in a car wreck doesn’t.
 
Hey, at least the kid won't have to pay back those student loans...
 
Lindberg said:
Sounds like a nice neighborhood.
Click to expand...
It's mixed. It's borderline exurbs so a block away you'll see a poorly maintained 2br house with a roof that should have been replaced 10y ago, and a block another direction it's 7500 sqft 1.5m$. Not traditional suburbs.
 
One of my students just got a "new" car - the first one she ever had that had less than 200,000 miles on it.
 
We have kids who joined the Air Force and show up at their first base without their own transportation. So they have to rely on others to take them to their in-processing appointments and to work.

really?

I remember one from New York City that didn’t have a driver’s license.
 
jsstevens said:
And we as a society are much less risk tolerant especially with our kids than prior generations. To be fair awful things happened sometimes. But we as a species are far more motivated by narrative than data. So headlines and reporters talking up the admittedly horrendous crime of a child being kidnapped and worse makes parents take action where pointing out that the children are more likely to die in a car wreck doesn’t.
Click to expand...

yeah pretty much. That’s why CNN, FOX, and other 24 hour fear mongers make billions.
 
I wouldn't judge the world by one set of overindulgent parents.
 
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Reactions: Ted
At first I thought you were describing Rippon College. And then you mentioned an air conditioner. Well, that rules out Rippon.

(stayed there once during OSH. It’s an experience!)
 
I moved myself to college at 17. Had to borrow a car to do it. I probably took 10 days of clothes, a dorm fridge, and toiletries with me. Plus a calculator.

Some of you know how that worked out...
 
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I had like 500$ cash for a semester.
A trash bag full of clothes.
2 towels.
The cheapest laptop money could buy.
asicer said:
Sounds like you live in a nice neighborhood. I wonder if her parents are shaking their head about you owning your own airplane. :)
Click to expand...

Hey hey hey!
I worked for that airplane!!!!
And that airplane cost less than her Audi!
:)
 
Bad parents exist in all income brackets, and so do good ones. You don't have to be obscenely wealthy to give your kids a spoiled, entitled attitude (although obviously you do have to have a good chunk of change to spend that kind of money on a car and moving). You also don't have to be poor to make your kids learn the value of hard work and make them earn what they want.

Nothing new to see here, this sort of thing has been been going on for a long time. It just may seem different if you live in a more affluent area now than you did growing up.
 
Ted said:
Bad parents exist in all income brackets, and so do good ones. You don't have to be obscenely wealthy to give your kids a spoiled, entitled attitude (although obviously you do have to have a good chunk of change to spend that kind of money on a car and moving). You also don't have to be poor to make your kids learn the value of hard work and make them earn what they want.

Nothing new to see here, this sort of thing has been been going on for a long time. It just may seem different if you live in a more affluent area now than you did growing up.
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That's fair!
 
In all honesty, my 5 years living in a very basic dorm (linoleum floors, block walls, steel bunk beds, wardrobe, and chest of drawers, with a community bathroom down the hall) was a tremendous experience. Everyone knew it sucked, but we made the most out of it and had a great time. It was a tremendous community to live in.

I wouldn't trade that time for anything.
 
I took everything that would fit in the back of a 78 Blazer, behind the rear seats. That didn't seem like a hardship at the time. Didn't have that air conditioning thing in the dorm.

I had a roommate one year from UAE. (I filled out my forms late and ended up in the "International Suite". Which actually ended up being interesting, rather than the kinda-of punishment that was intended.) Anyway, on this campus you really needed a car, so this kid's parents bought him a Toyota Supra...because it was less ostentatious than shipping over his Mercedes sedan. I suppose on paper he looked spoiled, but he wasn't. Very down to earth kid, and from the sound of it good parents.
 
Tom Wells said:
A bit of a rant here...

So I noticed my neighbors are loading up a semi truck with a professional moving company. I thought "wow they're moving? I didn't even see a moving sign! They sold in a hurry". The fact that they recently remodeled made it kind of a double shocker. So I stopped by to talk to them for a minute.

Turns out no, they're not moving. They were surprised I thought that. No, they're just moving their daughter to college.

That's right. Somehow someone who just turned 18 has managed to amass enough stuff to require a full ******** 53' semi truck in order to go to college. And apparently all of that stuff has to go, parting with it any of it during the school year would just be too difficult.

IDK about those of you who went to college, or skipped college and moved out on your own after high school... but genuinely curious how many of your got an Audi RS 5, a posh, loft luxury dorm (which required a waiver from their college since all freshman are supposed to live in dorms), and had your parents write a letter to your college getting you excused from the first week of school b/c of moving company labor delays? All things my neighbors nearly bragged about doing. By the way, I had to google the car. It's like 75k$! That's just a normal grad gift on top of paying for out of state tuition?

Better yet, do you think if you had gotten a windfall like that -- that you would have gone into school (or come out of school) any more or less prepared to live life as an independent adult?

I know each generation tends to think that the incoming generation is coddled and weak, but after this... I've lost most hope for humanity. Whatever happened to the cold, cinder-block walls and horrendous bunk beds of the yesteryears? The shared bathrooms that the deadbeats in the adjacent room refuses to clean up. The POS window-mounted air conditioner that somehow makes air hotter rather than cold. Isn't college supposed to be as much about living with privations and learning how to function on your own as it supposed to be about education itself?

I mean, when I look back at school some of the most fun I ever had was going to 0.10$ beer night at the bar (every wednesday when they would drain the taps and give you a mystery beer of whatever they needed to get rid of). Or equally fun was pulling all my coins together to afford late night taco bell. Or laughing at my friends who would donate plasma so they could afford to buy a pack of cigarettes that had to last them all week. In college all my money was earned in a crappy hourly job working for the school, so that money meant something to me. And with that shoestring budget you could still have a blast!

And forget the moving truck, my moving allowance was "does your shi* fit in the van so we can haul it in 1 trip? If not, it's staying here". And good god, a brand new Audi? My parents made me sell my janky as*, suspension-squeaking-everytime-i-hit-a-god-damn-bump car. They knew if I'd moved with it they'd be getting a phone call from me begging for a car payment or gas money (at best) and calling from jail with a DUI at worst! (seriously, send your kids to school with an uber gift card, not a car, unless they have a really legit reason for one).

But my question is... are those days gone? Is this now all about glitz+glam+comfort and less about having a new eye-opening experience where you learn how to function as an adult, using your own labor and resources to make it work? If so, then this world is doomed.
Click to expand...

I took the greyhound bus to go to college. All my belongings fit in a large duffle bag and a backpack.
 
Timbeck2 said:
I remember one from New York City that didn’t have a driver’s license.
Click to expand...
I actually had a student (newly commissioned Ensign) this year who did not have a drivers license.

She had never driven a car and my job was to teach her how to drive a 500’ 8000 ton ship…..
 
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