The Practical
(He points to the fuel vent tube underneath the wing) "What's that?"
"That's a fuel vent tube."
"What does it do?"
"As the fuel is burned it allows the tank to equalize the pressure eliminating a vacuum."
**I nailed that one...ask me something else Wonky Boy.**
"What if that get's clogged up with bugs or ice or something?" (he removes my fuel cap, turns it over, nods and replaces it.)
**oh crap** "It probably...well the gas cap doesn't fit all that tight...it probably won't implode or anything. I have another tank..."
"Oh it fits tight enough....so how does it vent if the vent tube is clogged?"
"I assume through the gas cap...somehow."
"You assume...but do you know? I just gave you a major hint."
**what hint...he just looked at the bottom of my fuel cap...was that a hint?**
"I'm not here to instruct you. I'm here to see if you know your airplane."
**damnit....I don't know my airplane...what major hint**
"Moving on. (points to the primer lines) What is that little tube?"
**all right, finally the engine....my wheelhouse**
"That is a primer line."
"What does that do?"
"It provides a squirt of fuel to the cylinders to prime the engine so it will start more easily."
"How come there's only three of them? Don't you have four cylinders on this aircraft?"
**the ONE thing you know most about and you don't know this...and you never noticed that there were only three tubes**
"Um....I don't know." (the very first "I don't know" of the whole exam.) **crap, I've failed.**
"I don't know either, I was hoping you could tell me...something about Lycoming engines...." (he trails off)
**whew!! Dodged a bullet there....what was that major hint???**
after a few more questions that I answered satisfactorily...except why there can only be one coat of paint of the stabilator that I didn't know the answer to other than balance issues, we climb in for the flight. The wind is a quartering headwind at 15 gusting to 24...I'm nervous but at least it isn't a direct cross.
Since I'm a controller, my radio skills are more than sufficient (if I say so myself) so he had no issues, we taxi out to the runway.
"Okay, make this a short field take off...and I'll tell you when we've cleared the fifty foot obstacle."
**obstacle?....you never mentioned obstacle. Roll with it Tim.**
"okay" (short field takeoff wasn't the best I've done, blame it on the gusty wind...yeah that's it)
"Okay, so we've cleared the obstacle"
"All right" (turns to heading from ATC)
"Okay...so where is the top of climb?" (I turn to the stack of paper in the back that I'd hurriedly placed there that the gusty wind blew all over the place)
**oh crap** "Its on my worksheet...um..."
"You fly the plane, I'll get it. (he looks for just a couple seconds and comes up with it) Is this it?"
"Yep, that's it...my top of climb is here and we've burned this much fuel." (I point to the paper where it states....**oh crap..you just opened yourself up for more questions about fuel burn...you idiot** (he ignores it or is satisfied with my worksheet info...or is having a stroke)
"I see, so what's the weather like at our destination."
(I rattle off the METAR info that I'd memorized...**oh crap...you shouldn't memorize anything** satisfied he says)
"Okay, say we don't know what the weather is, how can we find out?"
"We'll call flight service station in Prescott and they can give us a weather brief."
"Okay, let's do that."
**Okay I'm going to sound like a complete idiot because I already know what the weather is at the destination** (I tune in 122.2)
"You sure that's the right frequency?"
"Yes."
"That's not right, it should be 122.0."
"They discontinued use of that freq but still monitor it." **thank God I read that just last night**
"You sure?"
"Positive."
(Not believing me and in a smug voice) "Okay...call them up."
(keys up mic) "Prescott radio, Cherokee five six six zero uniform" (silence) Just when the mean mug showed up on Mr. Wonky's face..."Cherokee five six six zero uniform Prescott radio."
**HA!!**
"Yes, six zero uniform just wondering what weather you're showing over Palm Springs."
(they do the formal weather, very detailed and I almost feel sorry for them because they are doing something for me they didn't need to)
"Copy all, thank you, six zero uniform"
I realize this is getting a little lengthy so suffice it to say that we did some maneuvers which weren't perfect as I'd like but passable.
"Do you smell that?"
"Smell what? I don't smell anything."
**what the hell doesn't he smell?**
"My feet are getting hot."
"Your feet...wha...."
"We've got a panel fire."
**oh...I got it, a simulated emergency**
(I break out Mr. Checklist which I followed until I got down to "master switch off" which I skipped and simulated turning it off)
"Come on man my feet are on fire we need to get down!!"
"We're landing over there." (I point to a gravel road)
"Why didn't you follow the checklist?"
**uh oh...I thought I DID follow the checklist** "I did follow the checklist."
"You didn't turn the master off."
"I simulated that since we really didn't have a panel.."
"Okay, I'm going to discontinue this exam...(he went on to say a bunch of stuff about how we can continue but I was heartbroken and really couldn't pay much attention. We got back to the airport and I made all the landings he wanted which were decent but I'd never flown in wind like that before)
By this time my CFI had flown back from Phoenix and was waiting at my hangar. **now I have to tell him I failed.** We get out and the DPE explains that I never turned the master switch off and I failed that portion of the check ride but completed everything else satisfactorily. My CFI explained that we never actually turned the master switch off in training and took part of the blame. I was fuming, disappointed in myself.
"It's your choice, we can plan to finish another day or we can go back up and finish just that portion of the check ride."
"We're going back up."
"It will be another hundred dollars."
"We're going back up."
We go back up and I do the exact emergency procedure and this time, I shut off the master switch.
"Okay, take us back to the airport."
We do a short approach to my best landing of the day as the wind had died down a bit. We taxi back to my hangar. He gets out and says to my CFI, "he nailed it...good pilot."
**I nailed it...yeah on the second try**
DPE had returned and Mr. Wonky went back to...well wherever Mr. Wonky hangs out until it is time for him to come back.
It took a good week or so to get over the humiliation of failing my first check ride but with certificate in hand...I got over it.
