You pretty much hit the nail on the head with this one... at the most, relaxing is probably my biggest battle and the CFI I'm with can't provide me getting over it
I don’t know if this helps but, when I started lessons my instructor (a nice guy, great pilot, I like him) would inadvertently stress me out. Had a tendency to bark, and just his style stressed me, and early on I was doing some maneuver he had told me to do, and he was doing that I shut him out totally and realized I had a death grip on the yoke. I got ****ed off, and slowly relaxed my grip to just a couple of fingers on the yoke, and ignored him, and he suddenly says “yeah, now you got it”.
I had health problems not long after, unrelated, and had to pause my lessons. Hoping to get back to it in the near future, but I also realize I need a new CFI even though I like mine, and respect him. My first instructor briefed me well before each lesson, and after we flew and I knew what we were going to be doing, and that my CFI had gone through things thoroughly with me And checked that I understood. Unfortunately he moved on after a short time. My CFI after him didn't really do a briefing before flight or it was a hurried blur of words. We would go up and I had no idea what we would be working on. He has trained a lot of pilots well. It isn’t necessarily him, or me, it’s US. I need the briefing, he doesn’t really do them.
when I start again, I will fly with him just to get my feet wet again, but then I’m sure I’m going to have to have that discussion, that I know how I best learn, and I need the discussion and briefings.
Something else that hindered me was that I am the type that goes DEEP into anything I try. I take on too much, and also was unsure what was expected of me, so I’m thinking about aborted takeoffs, even early on asked my current CFI on the way to an airworks area, “if we had an engine out now what would I do?”, and many other things that I really didn’t get an answer (but I can be really all over the place…asking “how do you estimate distance from clouds?“ “how do I recognize the boundaries of the airworks?” Etc.) and he did correct me in a way to tell me that would come later. I always felt overwhelmed by what I assumed I was expected to know, that actually helped, because I realized I just had to trust the system.
I‘m planning on resuming my lessons, and I don’t have the same problems you are struggling with exactly, but there is overlap.
I don’t really understand what the problem with holding (at least fairly close) to the centerline is though. What do you think it is? There seems like a rate of rudder control that you can get ballpark right away and fine adjust after. It seems like an interesting point to start with.
I’m not a pilot yet, but I do disagree with the idea of giving up. If you really are motivated, maybe try to look at it objectively and solve the problems one by one. Focus on ONE, say holding the centerline. Repetition, adjust, get the feel. It seems like that would be “low hanging fruit” and mastering that would give you a win and you need a win. Ride on the good feeling of having that down, then work on more difficult things.
My stupid little story of me realizing I was gripping the yoke in a death grip actually helped me tons in both realizing I am the PIC, and that I need to monitor my own actions and correct them. Loosening my grip on the yoke was a positive thing, and helped me realize that. I also have to watch out for relying on the CFI, and I really hope we both overcome our hindrances.
Good luck to you. Keep trying. I think we both need new instructors, not because there is something wrong with our current ones (blame isn’t a useful thing anyway) but because it isn’t working for you. A NEW instructor is a new start. They will evaluate your skills and deficiencies and maybe have a way to make it all click. Good luck!
