Beard guys, some tips?

Grow a beard?

  • Total voters
    44
eman1200 said:
I didn't like my beard at first, but then it grew on me.
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I went 5 full years with no trimming starting in 2011. The beard was glorious. Then one day, it became work. I cut a few inches off. A week later, several inches. Within a month of the initial pruning, it was gone.

It’s 2022, and I’m about 5 months into The Return of the King.
 
Use a trimmer to keep it where you want it. Phillips makes some nice trimmers.
 
Just grew it out as long as you can stand and then to to a barber, who will make it look lovely for you.
 
JOhnH said:
Bicycling reduces testosterone, which is essential for facial hair growth.
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Chubby guys that can’t climb always have excuses. I log well over 7000 miles per year on my road bicycle and my beard is beastly. Women cannot cast their lusty gazes upon it for too long lest they find themselves miraculously impregnated, and cherubic men with the smooth faces of newborn babies must avert their envious glances or end up weak-kneed and prostate. True story.
 
judypilot said:
...I love beards...if he ever shaved his beard, I'd divorce him...
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Venturing well into the personal, how do you feel about chest hair? My wife loves chest hair but has told me she'll divorce me if I ever grow a beard. There's no figuring you women out :)

I did grow a pandemic beard in solidarity with my son who decided to do so. I found it way too much work to maintain so it lasted maybe two months tops.
 
Lachlan said:
...I log well over 7000 miles per year on my road bicycle and my beard is beastly....
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This brought visions of Forest Gump's beard when he picked up running :)

Pre-pandemic, I commuted 36 miles each day round trip to work. Between that and weekend rides, I was logging 5.5K/miles year. If 7K/year wasn't part of your sarcasm, that's impressive!
 
JOhnH said:
Bicycling reduces testosterone, which is essential for facial hair growth.
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RyanB said:
Source?
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I do a lot of infertility ultrasound scans on males that have been bicycling to the extreme ... increased varicoceles every time (basically varicose veins), causes in crease in scrotal temperature which is a sperm killer. Testicular sperm aspiration (TESA) is not fun guys ...
 
I shaved my beard when it got too gray, made me look too old. Now I'm catching up to my beard so I might reconsider.
 
Lachlan said:
Chubby guys that can’t climb always have excuses. I log well over 7000 miles per year on my road bicycle and my beard is beastly. Women cannot cast their lusty gazes upon it for too long lest they find themselves miraculously impregnated, and cherubic men with the smooth faces of newborn babies must avert their envious glances or end up weak-kneed and prostate. True story.
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I think that time you meant prostrate.
 
Lachlan said:
Chubby guys that can’t climb always have excuses. I log well over 7000 miles per year on my road bicycle and my beard is beastly. Women cannot cast their lusty gazes upon it for too long lest they find themselves miraculously impregnated, and cherubic men with the smooth faces of newborn babies must avert their envious glances or end up weak-kneed and prostate. True story.
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You sir, are truly inspiring.
 
danhagan said:
I do a lot of infertility ultrasound scans on males that have been bicycling to the extreme ... increased varicoceles every time (basically varicose veins), causes in crease in scrotal temperature which is a sperm killer. Testicular sperm aspiration (TESA) is not fun guys ...
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Can I use bicycling as a form of contraception then?
 
I am in a constant state of growing and trimming way back. I just hate shaving. Mine is in the name of easy maintenance. Grow for a month or so, then trim it down to stubble, and the cycle continues. Like the other old guys here, I don’t care what you think about it.
 
I've worn a full beard for 30 years with only an 8 month gap due to a work issue 28 years ago. I usually trim it down fairly short once a year, in late spring when the weather starts getting hot. about 15 years ago I let it get into "ZZ Top" territory but that got to be a major PITA. Do what is right for you but keep it clean, a dirty beard gives all bearded men (and women if they are so inclined) a bad rep. There are better places to stash yesterday's taco.
:D
 
danhagan said:
I do a lot of infertility ultrasound scans on males that have been bicycling to the extreme ... increased varicoceles every time (basically varicose veins), causes in crease in scrotal temperature which is a sperm killer. Testicular sperm aspiration (TESA) is not fun guys ...
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Why do you think I ride so much?
Lindberg said:
I think that time you meant prostrate.
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It varies based on whether you prefer a cutout saddle or old school. An improper fit will leave your prostate prostrate posthaste. ;)
 
:biggrin: only on PoA can a thread diverge from beards to prostates in two pages... :rofl:

@Sac Arrow , have you begun your journey to beardedness?
 
Deelee said:
:biggrin: only on PoA can a thread diverge from beards to prostates in two pages... :rofl:

@Sac Arrow , have you begun your journey to beardedness?
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The short answer is yes, but I have never actually intended on keeping one for very long to begin with. We are looking at about, I dunno, a week and a half, maybe two weeks in to it. I forgot when I shaved last.

It looks pretty bad. On the upside, people on street corners tend to want to give me spare change. I'll probably keep it for a while and see where it goes. Yesterday I put the #2 guard on the clippers and it just barely hit a few of the outliers.
 
Just to be clear, we are talking beards, not prostates. I plan on keeping that one for a while.
 
Sac Arrow said:
The short answer is yes, but I have never actually intended on keeping one for very long to begin with. We are looking at about, I dunno, a week and a half, maybe two weeks in to it. I forgot when I shaved last.

It looks pretty bad. On the upside, people on street corners tend to want to give me spare change. I'll probably keep it for a while and see where it goes. Yesterday I put the #2 guard on the clippers and it just barely hit a few of the outliers.
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Mayo?
 
I’m telling you.. mayo. I dated this girl once who fully mayo’d her hair.. I can’t remember if it was daily or weekly. I kid you not, it was the softest material I’ve ever felt. Merino wool was like sandpaper… I just wanted to roll around in it.
 
Rgbeard said:
I'm almost at 20. Started mine in 2006 during a prolonged work-from-home gig for a now-defunct sporting goods store.
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It's been 35 years for me, with the exception of my wedding, thanks to my sister-in-law.
 
My wife swears by the mayo treatment. She said one of her sorority sisters knew the trick and they would all treat their hair before formals etc. She doesn't do is so much anymore but she did teach my daughter the trick no too long ago.
 
Couldn't do it. I shaved two weeks and twenty years off my face.
 
sac got a little carried away with the mayo...

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now the funny thing is, I had totally just made that up hoping to get sac to put mayo in his beard strictly for my entertainment purposes. but I actually just googled it and other people are actually doing it! so I guess the joke is on me, although fess up sac, you did it........u put mayo on your face, dincha?
 
While I was still in hospital a few weeks ago, the guy who cleaned our room every weekday had an amazing beard — the kind that sticks way out and takes years to grow and care for. A regular medical mask fit over his face with no problem.

Then we had a major COVID outbreak in our unit on a Saturday (no one in my room tested positive) and were all confined to the areas around our beds. The next Monday, he showed up clean-shaven wearing an N-95 mask (which has to seal tightly to the skin all around) and yellow gown. It was heart-breaking to see, but working within arms reach of active cases, I guess his only other choice was to quit his job and give up his pension. :(
 
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