Beard guys, some tips?

Grow a beard?

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Okay.

So, how can I start up a thread like this without calling out @Rgbeard seeing as 1) he has a beard, and 2) the man's name is Beard. (And by the way he has a track ready GSXR 1000 and more motorcycles than Genghis Khan women in his harem.)

Well this thread isn't about him. It's about me. I mean, why would I start up a thread that wasn't about me? I'm shallow and self-absorbed.

Anyway, nevermind all that. So, I've never been able to grow a beard. I might go a week or so and I end up looking like Bill the Cat. Hair going here hair going there, like barbed wire except that twenty years ago it actually looked like barbed wire. Now, it just looks like whomever fathered Bill the Cat mated with Santa as well and well here I am.

Here is how it started: "Let's just f**** do it." I just started to let it grow. But I have like strands, pointing in every which way but loose (Burt Reynolds baby!) but I suspect that on my current track, after six months, I will look like I just haven't shaved for six months, as opposed to actually having a beard.

Several days in to it, I took the hair clippers out, and put the #1 guard on it, and trimmed it down. I looked totally Miami Vice, sans the white suit and keyboard artist that has risen to musical fame. My thought process was that I could progress to a #2 guard, then a #3, you see where I am going with this.

But it isn't working. The number two guard hasn't done anything, the number one guard will just get me back to Don Johnson, and I dunno, right now, I dare not walk down the sidewalk lest people offer me their spare change.

Is there a trick to this? For some guys, they are hairy mo***********s. I'm not all that hairy.

I guess what I kind of want to do is end up with some kind of Sean Connery beard, I don't care if it is a little bit lighter in color than I would ideally like it to be, I mean there is Just For Men for that issue, right?

I'm at wits end. None of the women in my life have called me out on that. (Take that to mean what it probably does.) But lets say I did actually have non-pneumatic women in my life that actually might have an opinion, what would their thoughts be? @judypilot do you have any opinions on men with beards that probably shouldn't actually be wearing beards?

I mean in the end I'll do what I'm going to do. I'll probably shave this crazy s*** off because it is sort of uncomfortable and even the kitty thinks I am some sort of pathetic wanna be poser with a Chuck Norris complex that I can't quite pull off fully.
 
How about, "You still need to shave."

Unless you are looking for the homeless look.
 
I've had a full beard several times in my life. First was after moving to Colorado for a year to get that mountain man persona. That lasted until I became a volunteer fireman a few years later and found that the masks don't seal well. A couple more times I grew it and then when I got tired of it I shaved it off. I've maintained a mustache for longer.
 
I had a COVID beard for nine months and I looked like David Letterman, when he was feral. I grew tired of it and scraped it off, only to grow it right back out of laziness. That one lasted about eight months.

I have since been beardless, but due to being a work-from-homer, I only shave every few weeks and usually look like a bum.

If your hair grows in patches and clumps, I recommend trimming letters and shapes into it. Make that useless hair do some good!
 
<——————— grow one of these…. Legendary!
 
The good thing about hair is you can instantly revert back to default. It’s only temporary.

So...just let it keep going. I usually grow one in the winter. A few weeks in, mine starts to look a mess and itches badly. They sell oils that you can put in to ease the itch, but also help train/tame those stragglers. Comb and brush it. It’ll start to take shape after a while. Patience.
 
PaulS said:
How about, "You still need to shave."

Unless you are looking for the homeless look.
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There is a world of difference between running a little buzzy trimmer through soft waves of face-fuzz and raking a sharp blade over your facemeat until it is bare and prepubescent.

I'll take the hobo look every time.
 
schmookeeg said:
There is a world of difference between running a little buzzy trimmer through soft waves of face-fuzz and raking a sharp blade over your facemeat until it is bare and prepubescent.

I'll take the hobo look every time.
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Huh. I'm listening.....
 
I normally let the beard grow out in November, and it's decent within 3 weeks. By end of December I'm full on mountain man. I usually keep it trimmed around a 5 or 6 guard until it warms up in late February and then I shave it off. I can't stand it when I'm sweating and hot, lol.
 
Trimmer? C'mon man. Either grow a beard or don't.

I have a sense that a ZZ Top style beard would work well for you.
 
Not to make you feel bad but my beard could take a #6 right now. It comes off next week. My beard comes in red, which I love, and I can't grow hair on the top of my head anymore so I like my bearded look. I just don't like wearing a beard long term.
 
mayo. if you want a think full beard, put a little mayo on your face every other day for a week. I don't recall if it was GQ or men's health or something like that but there was an article about using mayo in your beard to supercharge it. I've done it before, it works magic. something about the oil in it, blah blah magic blah.
 
:needpics:

You want tips? Let's see it.

Otherwise, just let it grow. Trim it just enough to keep it tidy until it reaches the length you want. If you have some areas that just won't grow, choose a shape that looks good without that area. And don't forget to condition it in the shower and use some beard oil to soften it.
 
eman1200 said:
mayo. if you want a think full beard, put a little mayo on your face every other day for a week. I don't recall if it was GQ or men's health or something like that but there was an article about using mayo in your beard to supercharge it. I've done it before, it works magic. something about the oil in it, blah blah magic blah.
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And maybe add some croutons or bacon bits.
 
I still have a beard. But now at my age I have to trim it and add coloring to color over the gray white....

A couple weeks ago my wife bought me some mens hair coloring to color the gray white on my head.

Maybe I should shave the beard and hair off to see what she thinks. Eyebrows too.
 
After years of “not shaving this week, because I don’t have to fly”, I went with a beard about 9 years ago. Quite frankly, I was probably 35 before it would’ve grown in well, anyway.

My wife stipulated that it can’t be longer than the hair on my head, so the whole thing gets a #1 buzz about once a month. I can live with that. If she dies first, I’m going ZZ Top.

My mom hated my beard from day one, because “no child of mine should be old enough to be that gray.” My mom still has mostly dark hair at 77. Apparently, like most of my negative traits, these things have been known to skip a generation on the mother’s side.
 
Definitely mayo. I don’t look like my pic anymore.. shaved it. But while I had it… a treatment every morning worked wonders.


(Yes, that’s me in the photo btw)
 
kaiser said:
Definitely mayo. I don’t look like my pic anymore.. shaved it. But while I had it… a treatment every morning worked wonders.


(Yes, that’s me in the photo btw)
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I'm going to be horseshoeing it for 24 hours next week. Should be interesting. Or maybe it will be a Zappa. TBD.
 
You have to let it get past the awkward stage. Which, for some, can take a long time. For others (like me) it takes about five days.

But why stop at letting the facial hairs grow free? Let the top-of-the-head hairs go, too. Long hair and a beard - that's the way to go.
 
Apropos nothing, I love beards. My husband has a wonderful beard. When we got married, I told him that if he ever shaved his beard, I'd divorce him. His grows in different directions, but we keep it shaped, so you don't really notice. But it has to be fairly full (read: longish) in order to shape it. Give it time.

By the way, I hate the look that looks like you just forgot to shave. I have never understood that. That's not a beard. It's a 5 o'clock shadow (even if it did take awhile to grow it).
 
I like mine, but it does get out of control without a fair amount of work. Frankly shaving was less work. I sleep on my stomach which smashes the one side crooked- I have to use the wife’s hair straightener on it…. But it can get out of control - part of me thinks it’s because I don’t know how to shape it anymore than I know how to cut my own hair- so I’m considering going to a barber that specializes in em.
 
Huckster79 said:
I like mine, but it does get out of control without a fair amount of work. Frankly shaving was less work. I sleep on my stomach which smashes the one side crooked- I have to use the wife’s hair straightener on it…. But it can get out of control - part of me thinks it’s because I don’t know how to shape it anymore than I know how to cut my own hair- so I’m considering going to a barber that specializes in em.
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Yeah, the smashed-beard-while-sleeping thing is definitely an issue, but his usually springs back to an acceptable shape within an hour or so. When it doesn't is when it needs to be trimmed.
 
judypilot said:
Yeah, the smashed-beard-while-sleeping thing is definitely an issue, but his usually springs back to an acceptable shape within an hour or so. When it doesn't is when it needs to be trimmed.
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the straightener works pretty well. I’m kinda hoping it grows long engoygh to grow past the smash under- it’s about 4” below my chin now. I regret the work it is but now think I’d look wierd without it.
 
Bicycling reduces testosterone, which is essential for facial hair growth.
 
eman1200 said:
mayo. if you want a think full beard, put a little mayo on your face every other day for a week. I don't recall if it was GQ or men's health or something like that but there was an article about using mayo in your beard to supercharge it. I've done it before, it works magic. something about the oil in it, blah blah magic blah.
Click to expand...

This guy recommends Dukes.

1980A1A6-9D46-4EC6-AC2B-F61A8C27DA13.jpeg
 
Some men just don't grow as much facial hair as others. When my wife was off getting her type rating in the Challenger I didn't shave at all while she was gone, I suppose it was 2.5 weeks. That's about what it took to get it semi-reasonable. I then shaved before she got home.

I grew a Covid beard and found that it took about 4-6 weeks to get to more or less steady state, and after that it basically just kept on growing and eventually getting annoying longer. At 2.5 months I trimmed it for the first time, and so now every 1-2 weeks (or whenever I feel it looks scraggly/annoys me) I trim it, and that's about it.

My facial hair looks pretty similar to Keanu Reeves look the past few years, and I suspect that while I can't kill 500 people in the course of an hour and a half with hand weapons (well, I've also never been given the opportunity), it's probably due to similar reasons - it's just the parts of his face where hair grows.
 
Interesting, thanks!
 
schmookeeg said:
There is a world of difference between running a little buzzy trimmer through soft waves of face-fuzz and raking a sharp blade over your facemeat until it is bare and prepubescent.

I'll take the hobo look every time.
Click to expand...
The trimmer is less an aggravation than shaving, but most still need to shave the neck and cheeks. Unless you are going for the mental hospital look.
 
I have a full beard. The toughest part is getting through the first couple weeks, when it looks messy and it itches like crazy. Beard oils and a brush (soft bristle) can help. The oil is more for your skin than the hair. I would recommend touching up your cheeks with a razor, but I don’t touch my neck. And avoid the temptation to trim for the first couple months (except for your cheeks). When my sideburns get too “poofy”, that’s when I will start trimming and shaping it. I usually use a beard oil, comb that in, then use a beard balm to help keep the individual hairs in place. Not so much that it gets caked, just enough to provide some hold.
 

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My recommendation is to be very careful when burning your cardboard in the burn barrel on a very windy day.
Yesterday, in the middle of when the sleet turned into snow, the wife decided it would be OK to burn the mountain of cardboard that has been building up in the big barn (it's been very dry here, burn ban). Somehow a gust of wind blew up right as I was shoving a box into the barrel. The result was a piece of flaming cardboard that planted itself right against my face. The curly, stinky, burnt ends were trimmed off and now the beard is only about 3/8". I kinda' like the new look. The eyebrow and right eyelashes should be back soon.
 
Before I turned gray I had a fell beard, just trimmed it here and there to keep it shaped. After I grayed I kept my beard very short, trying to do the unshaven look on it which I like. I use a pair of clippers on it with no guard once a week. Keeps it well under control, and I shave the rest with a clipper. That said, I have fine light hair. Might not work for everyone.
 
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