Aviation, sex, and a really good joke

Clark1961

Clark1961

Touchdown! Greaser!
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A pilot had a tough day at work. The captain had a stroke 4 years ago and still calls in sick so the pilot has to fly the plane and talk on the radio. He is stressed out and has a sim ride scheduled for tomorrow. Gotta get some relief so he cruises over to east Colfax ave to do a little "shopping". He sees 4 girls on one street corner, a brunette and three blondes! He's got it made 'cause he knows it's one regular price and then 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks.

For those not old enough to have seen the Pizza Hut commercials or those that don't remember them okay it's a really bad joke.
 
There are 8 women in a line. The first is facing forward. The second is facing away. The third is facing forward. The fourth is facing away. The fifth is facing forward. The last three are facing away.

What is the name of the song?
 
murphey said:
There are 8 women in a line. The first is facing forward. The second is facing away. The third is facing forward. The fourth is facing away. The fifth is facing forward. The last three are facing away.

What is the name of the song?
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William Tell Overture.
 
Ah, I'm still not getting it - have to think a while...
 
Have no idea what's going here doesn't make any sense to me
 
Show us your Lark pack!
(or perhaps Geno's pizza rolls).
 
A husband and wife were having dinner at an expensive restaurant, when a stunning young woman comes over to their table. Without blinking an eye, the woman gives the husband a kiss on the lips and says, “See you later.”

The wife stares at her blushing husband and at the woman walking away. Then she asks, "What was that? Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband with a glitter in his eyes, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's it," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!"

“Alright then," replies her husband. "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in the Swiss Alps, no more summers in New York City, no more Bentley and Rolls Royce in the garage and no more private jet for quick getaways. But the decision is yours."

They stay quiet for a while. Later, a neighbor of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous girl in his arm.
"Who's that woman with Sanusi?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.

The woman pauses for a moment and then says, "Ours is prettier.”
 
Joey4420 said:
A husband and wife were having dinner at an expensive restaurant, when a stunning young woman comes over to their table. Without blinking an eye, the woman gives the husband a kiss on the lips and says, “See you later.”

The wife stares at her blushing husband and at the woman walking away. Then she asks, "What was that? Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband with a glitter in his eyes, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's it," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!"

“Alright then," replies her husband. "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in the Swiss Alps, no more summers in New York City, no more Bentley and Rolls Royce in the garage and no more private jet for quick getaways. But the decision is yours."

They stay quiet for a while. Later, a neighbor of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous girl in his arm.
"Who's that woman with Sanusi?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.

The woman pauses for a moment and then says, "Ours is prettier.”
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Makes a better aviation joke if you start it out with, "Martha and Ebby Lunken were having dinner,,,"
 
I had no intentions of trying to name anyone... well other than Sanusi (whom ever that might be).
 
Joey4420 said:
A husband and wife were having dinner at an expensive restaurant, when a stunning young woman comes over to their table. Without blinking an eye, the woman gives the husband a kiss on the lips and says, “See you later.”

The wife stares at her blushing husband and at the woman walking away. Then she asks, "What was that? Who was that?"

"Oh," replies the husband with a glitter in his eyes, "she's my mistress."

"Well, that's it," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce!"

“Alright then," replies her husband. "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in the Swiss Alps, no more summers in New York City, no more Bentley and Rolls Royce in the garage and no more private jet for quick getaways. But the decision is yours."

They stay quiet for a while. Later, a neighbor of theirs enters the restaurant with a gorgeous girl in his arm.
"Who's that woman with Sanusi?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.

The woman pauses for a moment and then says, "Ours is prettier.”
Click to expand...
I liked that joke, so I shared it with my wife.
She didn't think it was funny at all. The more I tried to explain it to her, the less she liked it.
But I still think it was funny as hell.
 
Clark1961 said:
A pilot had a tough day at work. The captain had a stroke 4 years ago and still calls in sick so the pilot has to fly the plane and talk on the radio. He is stressed out and has a sim ride scheduled for tomorrow. Gotta get some relief so he cruises over to east Colfax ave to do a little "shopping". He sees 4 girls on one street corner, a brunette and three blondes! He's got it made 'cause he knows it's one regular price and then 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks.

For those not old enough to have seen the Pizza Hut commercials or those that don't remember them okay it's a really bad joke.
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Ok, I caught that calling in sick post before it got deleted. Just a clever troll, or did I miss an inside joke?
 
Salty said:
Ok, I caught that calling in sick post before it got deleted. Just a clever troll, or did I miss an inside joke?
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Well either you missed the joke or it was a clever troll.
 
JOhnH said:
I liked that joke, so I shared it with my wife.
She didn't think it was funny at all. The more I tried to explain it to her, the less she liked it.
But I still think it was funny as hell.
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First rule when u find urself in a hole... stop digging

Sent from my SM-G935V using Tapatalk
 
Never good idea to tell jokes like that yo your wife. It was really hard to get viagra before and now it is easier than ever. You can now get viagra online and you don't have to feel uncomfortable buying it from someone. A lot of us are using it and in this way we can avoid these uncomfortable situations where someone has to know that we have problems in that department. It is much better buying it online from a real pharmacy and for a really great price.
 
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vontresc said:
I give you the Funniest Joke in the World



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You can't trick me.

But, here's my German related joke.

A German tourist comes to America to visit New York City. He's walking through Central Park and really has to pee. He figures, just like in Germany, he could just pee on a tree and it wouldn't be a problem.

So, he whips it out and starts relieving himself out in the open. A women walking by sees him and exclaims "Gross!" The man replies "Danke!"
 
Gawd, I miss Clark! A bigger smart-azz this site hasn't experienced!
 
Definition of savoir faire....or chutzpah, depending on your preference.

Three French gentleman are discussing the true definition of "savoir faire"

"Mes amis, let me tell you the meaning of 'savoir faire': a husband comes home early, walks into the bedroom and discovers his wife in bed with another man - Pierre - in the middle of ze act. He does not react, but with great dignity walks out of the room and closes the door. THAT, mes amis, is 'savoir faire'!"

"Non non non!" says the second, "that is NOT 'savoir faire'! It is when the husband comes home, discovers his wife in bed with this Pierre. He first says with great politeness and perhaps a small bow, 'please, continue'. Only THEN he walks out with dignity and closes the door. THIS is 'savoir faire'"

The third friend replies, "Mes amis you do not understand these things. It is when Pierre is in bed with his mistress, making love. Her husband comes home early and walks in ze door. The husband bows politely then walks out with great dignity and closes ze door, saying 'please, continue'....

and Pierre does!

That’s.....chutzpah!
 
timwinters said:
Gawd, I miss Clark! A bigger smart-azz this site hasn't experienced!
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You're admitting someone is better at it than you?

72698483.jpg


I miss seeing him on the forums too.... he is one of the good ones
 
Gerhardt said:
Click bait. I came here for the good joke, as promised.

So, a dyslexic guy goes into a bra...
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I always thought a strip club named “Lyxdexia’s Bra and Girll” would be really clever.
 
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