An Old Pilots Reflection


Pattern Altitude
Nov 6, 2011
Display Name

Display name:
Flew to KEYW today from KPGD for a weekend in Keywest and was at a restaurant and saw this posted over the urinal. I know TMI, but it is what it is.
Not sure who wrote it. Maybe someone knows. Could not find it previously posted on Pilots Of America, though maybe it was and I missed it.

ROLES: Passengers are people who say they fly, but really just ride.

PROFESSIONALS: Pilots are people who drive airplanes for other people who can't fly. Fighter Pilots are steely eyed weapons systems managers who kill bad people and break things. However, they can also be very charming and personable. The average fighter pilot, despite sometimes having a swaggering exterior, is very much capable of such feelings as love, affection, intimacy and caring.
(However, these feelings usually don't involve anyone else.) Flying is a hard way to earn an easy living.

OPTIMISTS & PESSIMISTS: Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the airplane; the pessimist, the parachute.
Death is just nature's way of telling you to watch your airspeed.

FATE: As a pilot only two bad things can happen to you (and one of them will):
a. One day you will walk out to the aircraft, knowing it is your last flight.
b. One day you will walk out to the aircraft, not knowing it is your last flight.

RULES & LAWS: There are rules and there are laws:
The rules are made by men who think that they know how to fly your airplane better than you.
The laws (of physics) were ordained by God.
You can and sometimes should suspend the rules, but you can never suspend the laws.

About Rules:
a. The rules are a good place to hide if you don't have a better idea and the talent to execute it.
b. If you deviate from a rule, it must be a flawless performance (e.g., if you fly under a bridge, don't hit the bridge.)

PREPARATIONS: Before each flight, make sure that your bladder is empty and your fuel tanks are full.

LIMITS: He who demands everything that his aircraft can give him is a pilot; he who demands one iota more is a fool.

FEAR: There are certain aircraft sounds that can only be heard at night and over the ocean. Most of them are scary.

JUDGEMENT: The aircraft limits are only there in case there is another flight by that particular aircraft. If subsequent flights do not appear likely, there are no limits.

ACCOUNTANTS: "If the Wright brothers were alive today, Wilbur would have to fire Orville to reduce costs." (President, DELTA Airlines.)

COMMON SENSE: In the Alaskan bush, I'd rather have a two-hour bladder and three hours of gas than vice versa.

NOSTALGIA: An old pilot is one who can remember when flying was dangerous and sex was safe.
Airlines have really changed ... now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant.

MATURITY: I've flown in both pilot seats. Can someone tell me why the other one is always occupied by an idiot?
You have to make up your mind about growing up and becoming a pilot. You can't do both.
Whenever I hear someone say they “flew” somewhere, I ask them “Did you fly or did you ride?”.

Thanks for sharing with this old pilot!
A lot of deep thoughts for a urinal. Around here it usually just says something along the lines of "Pilots with short stacks or low manifold pressure please taxi closer. The next pilot may not be float plane rated."
Whenever I hear someone say they “flew” somewhere, I ask them “Did you fly or did you ride?”.

Thanks for sharing with this old pilot!
Sometimes 1 passenger is paying for the entire flight. Since we all know that money is what makes an airplane fly, does it matter?
Whenever I hear someone say they “flew” somewhere, I ask them “Did you fly or did you ride?”.

Thanks for sharing with this old pilot!
I admit to thinking this often at work. Usually I'm on the way to customs after working an 11 hour flight and the guy walking slowly and talking loudly on the phone is saying something about how tired he is because “dude, I just FLEW all the way from xxx; you wouldn’t believe how tired I am”.

I just bite my tongue, add it to the list, shake my head and roll on. :thumbsup:
I try to remember to say I rented a seat on a Greyhound bus with wings.