A sandwich dilemma

What do you do?

  • I finish that sandwich, no questions asked.

  • Sandwich must be discarded.

  • I sacrifice my clothing and flooring and get the sandwich to the kitchen anyway.

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EdFred

EdFred

Taxi to Parking
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White Chocolate
This came up in conversation. I don't know how, but it did.

You've made yourself your favorite sandwich (or wrap or other handheld food). You are wandering around the house, eating the sandwich, and you are not using a plate, just carrying it around in your hand while you take bite after delicious bite. It is an amazing sandwich, probably the best you've had in a while. Suddenly, nature is at your digestive door with a no-knock warrant. There is no place to set the sandwich down. You don't have time to get to the kitchen to put it on a plate. You only have time to make it to the porcelain savior, sandwich in hand. You are able to use your other hand to prepare yourself and the savior, make it to safety, and are able to keep the sandwich and the hand holding it from touching anything.

So there you are, doing what you do while seated, sandwich in hand...

What do you do?
 
Obvious sign of impending backfire. Mixture needs to be leaned.
 
I'm hoping at that point I'll wake up in a cold sweat.

But here's the thing - I can't conceivably think of an instance where I would be in a situation where I couldn't immediately put down my food item for any reason, no knock warrant or otherwise. I'm either eating at the table, in the kitchen, or maybe on rare occasion the coffee table while watching the TV - all with a plate. I don't wander about the place with sandwich in hand. I more or less categorize the practice as equivalent to eating in the car, which I do not do.

I don't have an appropriate voting choice.

You mean to tell me that you can't simply set it down on the bookcase, workbench or shelf on the way to the loo and tend to it later after completing the paperwork?
 
Sac Arrow said:
I'm hoping at that point I'll wake up in a cold sweat.

But here's the thing - I can't conceivably think of an instance where I would be in a situation where I couldn't immediately put down my food item for any reason, no knock warrant or otherwise. I'm either eating at the table, in the kitchen, or maybe on rare occasion the coffee table while watching the TV. I don't wander about the place with sandwich in hand. I more or less categorize the practice as equivalent to eating in the car, which I do not do.
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Yes mother.
 
Ask for help....

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Set the sandwich down on a napkin or paper towel and tend to business. If there is no napkin handy, use clean toilet paper.
 
Sorry. Food does not visit “the facilities”. Eat it, discard it, give it to the dog, or set it down on the floor outside. It ain’t going in the restroom.
 
2-Bit Speed said:
Set the sandwich down on a napkin or paper towel and tend to business. If there is no napkin handy, use clean toilet paper.
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If it is truly such a delicious sandwich, between me and the cats, it's not going to be there when you get back, y'know... :D




(Unless you ask me really nicely, and then I'll even keep the cats off it until you get back. :p :cool: )
 
kyleb said:
Sorry. Food does not visit “the facilities”. Eat it, discard it, give it to the dog, or set it down on the floor outside. It ain’t going in the restroom.
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Yup. This.

I may or may not have carefully balanced said sandwich on the stair banister when a theoretical situation such as this may or may not have occurred in the past.
 
This happened to me once while I was eating a chipwhich. I grasped that puppy in my teeth and took care of business. Once the job was completed and hands we're throughly washed did I take a bite.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I'm hoping at that point I'll wake up in a cold sweat.

But here's the thing - I can't conceivably think of an instance where I would be in a situation where I couldn't immediately put down my food item for any reason, no knock warrant or otherwise. I'm either eating at the table, in the kitchen, or maybe on rare occasion the coffee table while watching the TV - all with a plate. I don't wander about the place with sandwich in hand. I more or less categorize the practice as equivalent to eating in the car, which I do not do.

I don't have an appropriate voting choice.

You mean to tell me that you can't simply set it down on the bookcase, workbench or shelf on the way to the loo and tend to it later after completing the paperwork?
Click to expand...

Being caught short without a plate, paper towel, or counter top is simply poor planning.
 
mmmmm.... I just had a butter, peanut butter and jelly with honey on whole grain bread. All sugar free.... :sigh:
 
2-Bit Speed said:
Set the sandwich down on a napkin or paper towel and tend to business. If there is no napkin handy, use clean toilet paper.
Click to expand...
There is no such thing as clean toilet paper, unless you just took the wrapper off.
What do you suppose the last person that handled the roll had been doing?
 
JOhnH said:
There is no such thing as clean toilet paper, unless you just took the wrapper off.
What do you suppose the last person that handled the roll had been doing?
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Since it was probably my cat, stalking something.
 
Unrelated....is a hot dog a sandwich?
 
robin ardoin said:
I assumed this was your average BM, not explosive diarrhea! :eek:
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Hmm, I don't know, average BM generally doesn't present a "no knock warrant." Usually it can wait in the chamber for an opportune moment, not demand departure.
 
If this no-knock warrant scenario occurs frequently, in the end, it might be time to consult a doctor. What would happen if this occurs during an IFR approach in IMC rather than when eating a sandwich?
 
Some Captains will go to any extreme to force the First Officer to land the plane.
 
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