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I have hair, yet you'll never catch me saying it makes me more manly or handsome. All it does is make my sink and tub clog more than yours.

About a year ago my wife brought home baby chickens and instructed me to assemble a co-op. Yeah ,the fresh eggs were nice until now, but I was always a little resentful, just didn't seem worth the extra work. Now, however, they're a food source that I don't have to leave our property for, it has...

I always pictured @Half Fast as being half bald. A slick dome with hair just above his ear and around the back of his head. Like a bullet sticking up out of a towel or something.

I have a 5 year old out of school, so I've jumped on the trampoline. And watched as he pretends the couch is a trampoline.

No, I can't work from home, that's the trouble. Apologize for the confusion.

This is where were heading... because people can't be bothered to do the right thing and stay home. They have to be ordered. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-temper/tempers-flare-in-italy-as-coronavirus-toll-keeps-climbing-idUSKBN21A397

I work 2 essential jobs. I'm stuck at home, struggling to work as much as I can at jobs that have zero contact with people, because schools closed. The schools aren't reopening until at least August... Because people didn't listen to early warnings to slow this down when the chance was there...

You don't think they tried to be nice about this? Like I said, they gave people the chance to voluntarily stay home and slow this thing, people blew it. To put it in perspective, say you have an apartment complex with 40 units, 5 buildings and everyone gets it. An entire building is going to...

In the essential category, obviously.

Sounds like if you're "essential", literally, you get to work. What do you do for a living that isn't considered essential? Both of my jobs are considered essential, they've just restricted some things to reduce contact between people. If someone isn't considered essential, maybe they should...

Not just a renewal, moving from one state to another. Kicking myself for putting this off now. I won't be operating a commercial truck, just want to keep the endorsements. Ah well, it'll work out somehow.

My driver's license expires April 1st. It's commercial, so not only do I have to figure out how to get a new one during the time of closures and social distancing, I have to go to the doctor for a fresh DOT physical. I just googled. The license office is closed until after my CDL expires, so I...

Resurrection

Around here the Waffle House' busiest time is between last call and mid-morning. No more rush of drunks after 0200, that's what is really hurting their revenue. I would know, we used to hit the WH after last call about every Saturday night, Sunday morning technically. I'd hate to imagine the...

I had to Google it several times over the years because I kept forgetting what it meant. I've pretty much had to Google every similar internet abbreviation. LMAO, yeah googled it. Roflmao, same.

Wino

Apple

Squeeze

I'm guessing it's a common, purposely vague law that can be associated with things like yelling fire in a crowded space.

I'm slow clapping for justice. Nice, karma, nice...