Nervous flyer who wants to face his fear and maybe one day become a pilot. San Diego, CA

N

nEthan

Filing Flight Plan
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Dec 23, 2024
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San Diego, CA
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Display name:
nEthan
Hi everyone,

My name is Ethan, and I’m from San Diego, CA. I’ve decided to pursue my dream of earning my private pilot’s license, but I want to be honest about where I currently stand: flying makes me nervous. It’s not easy for me right now, but I know deep down that flying is something I truly desire to do.

I feel like if I don’t face this fear and push myself to get through it, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Even though flying is currently challenging and a bit torturous for me, the thought of never achieving this dream feels even worse.

I’m reaching out to this community to connect with experienced pilots who might be willing to help me take those first steps toward becoming comfortable in the air. I have taken 3 flights so far at Sling pilot academy and they have been really good to me. The only problem is that the instructors are really busy and don’t really have a lot of time to schedule. Also I would really like to find a pilot who is excited to help me become an aviator.

If you’re based in San Diego or nearby and would be open to meeting up or pointing me toward local resources, I’d be incredibly grateful. I’m determined to make this dream a reality and would appreciate any support or guidance along the way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope to connect with some of you soon!

Best regards,
Ethan
 
Why does flying make you nervous? Are you afraid of the engine quitting? How about a wing falling off? Running into another airplane in the sky?

In reality those things happen but they are quite rare and even then there are ways to mitigate the risk involved. Most of the things that cause injury & death are caused by pilots making (stupid) errors. Learn to be safe from the start and refuse to compromise the rules of safety. VFR into IMC without proper training, flying aerobatics without training, showboating close to the ground for your friends, low, slow, & uncoordinated on base to final turns, flying without enough gas in the tanks, etc, are the things that get pilots hurt. These can be avoided and a wise pilot will do so.

There should always be a healthy respect and perhaps a bit of trepidation in pilots before every flight. This is why we make ourselves familiar with the surrounding area & brief take-off and land procedures for every flight. We use checklist & seek to do flight reviews that actually add to our knowledge base. Good pilots are always looking to learn what helps & what doesn't. I've had my moments of "why in the world am I up here today" but in the end I'm thankful for gift of flight & I'm so glad I was allowed to pursue it.
 
A few years ago, a young man came to me about his fear of flying. He had won a sales contest at his place of work, and the prize was a vacation in Mexico. But he was afraid to get on the airplane.

Determined to get over his fear, he scheduled an introductory flight with me. When we took off, he started to hyperventilate and express his fear, "Oh! Oh!" I asked if he wanted me to land, and he said no, he wanted to confront his fear. By the time we finished, he was enjoying himself.

But he was still very apprehensive about flying on an airliner. He asked if I would go with him on a short (about 20-minutes) flight to Minneapolis, where he had reserved a rental car for the trip back. On the jet, I explained what he was hearing and feeling. By the time we arrived, he was OK with it, and called his wife and said, "Book some trips!"
 
I was very nervous while I was learning to fly, sweating bullets every flight.
I also was fighting motion sickness.
I came to a point like you about 5-10 flights in that had to decide if I continue on.

I did and eventually got over the nervous feeling. Real glad I continued on. But for me it wasn't until I put about 500 hours on my own plane about 750 into flying. I now have almost 1600 hr since 2015. Still a little nervous sometimes. I rarely feel any motion sickness unless it is real rough which I don't fly in for long.
 
I was nervous and it went away after my fourth lesson. I say go for it!!
 
nEthan said:
I’m from San Diego, CA... I’m reaching out to this community to connect with experienced pilots who might be willing to help me take those first steps toward becoming comfortable in the air.
Click to expand...
San Diego, eh? @Tantalum
 
nEthan said:
Hi everyone,

My name is Ethan, and I’m from San Diego, CA. I’ve decided to pursue my dream of earning my private pilot’s license, but I want to be honest about where I currently stand: flying makes me nervous. It’s not easy for me right now, but I know deep down that flying is something I truly desire to do.

I feel like if I don’t face this fear and push myself to get through it, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Even though flying is currently challenging and a bit torturous for me, the thought of never achieving this dream feels even worse.

I’m reaching out to this community to connect with experienced pilots who might be willing to help me take those first steps toward becoming comfortable in the air. I have taken 3 flights so far at Sling pilot academy and they have been really good to me. The only problem is that the instructors are really busy and don’t really have a lot of time to schedule. Also I would really like to find a pilot who is excited to help me become an aviator.

If you’re based in San Diego or nearby and would be open to meeting up or pointing me toward local resources, I’d be incredibly grateful. I’m determined to make this dream a reality and would appreciate any support or guidance along the way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope to connect with some of you soon!

Best regards,
Ethan
Click to expand...
I am not near you but I do have a few ideas. Flying a small airplane is a lot like operating a power boat. An airplane operates in a sea of air and on land. A boat operates on a sea of water and interacts with both the water below and the air above. Both the water and the air can be very powerful and can toss either vehicle about as you operate.

The structure and shape of a boat is what makes it safe in the water. As long as the boat remains intact and the pilot steers it properly in relation to the waves and wind (and the ground upon docking), both the boat and the people on board will be safe.

The structure and shape of an airplane is what makes it safe in the air. As long as the airplane remains intact and the pilot steers it properly in relation to the wind (and the ground upon landing), both the airplane and the people on board will be safe.

If you know someone with a small powerboat, about 16-20 feet long, I'd ask to go for a ride on it. Riding around in a small powerboat is a lot like riding around in a small airplane. Once you getvused to that you'll be better prepared for flying.

The big difference between a boat and an airplane is an airplane needs airspeed to fly. In gliders this is provided by an external tow, in an airplane by an engine and propeller. It is important to remember that any airplane is also a glider, and should the engine fail it will continue to glide properly without the engine as long at the pilot steers it properly. This is one of the things flight training is all about.

I hope this idea helps you.
 
If you're going for your certificate I'd STRONGLY suggest that you peruse as much as you can here about medical matters and see if there are ANY concerns about them, even if you think they were transient and not a factor now.
 
What is the source of your fear?

Are you afraid of heights? Do you dislike not being in control? Do bumps, funny noises, changes in air pressure unsettle you? Is it a general fear of flying being unsafe?

All of those are things that can be dealt with. Many of us weren't the best passengers before we became pilots, and believe it or not, supposedly the percentage of pilots with acrophobia is *higher* than the general population. But there isn't a catch-all way to help unless you can share what sort of fear you have, so please share more?
 
You have to identify what is causing the fear,is it all phases of flight. Talk it over with your instructor and see if that helps.
 
nEthan said:
..flying makes me nervous.
Click to expand...
Hi Ethan and everyone.
Your description "nervous" is very common and expected.
You are learning something new, in a different environment and it's natural to feel different, you will likely never get over that, and beneficial to you and your safety.
Humans are Not designed and comfortable with flying, and I've said it before, and a bunch of the guys had a lot of laughs about it, we humans, some people theorize, evolved form birds. It must have been a long time ago because after some 50+ years I still am in a different state of mind when I fly. That said I am inclined to believe some of us are, since I never feel like I have / had enough flying.

My attention to details, heightened alertness, and ability to control my emotions and to some point bodily functions, when I fly is different than any other activity I was / get involved in. My pulse rate is lower, my O2 saturation at 5000 ft is just as high as at sea level...
It takes a while to get to that stage but I think anyone can do it. For many years I've practiced Martial arts, Yoga.. and you name it sports, and that may have something to do with it?
It is my opinion that when you lose that state of alertness is time to stop flying.
Fear, if the "nervousness" gets to that level can also be controlled. In my opinion I consider that an emotion, like getting angry, you should be able to control both.

At the beginning there are a lot of things that you don't know and need to learn, your instructor will introduce a few thing at the time until you learn them.
Keep trying, practice in your mind, or in a simulator, the flight before you go. After you land go over some of the things you need to improve on, and Always try to store in your long term memory, what you did right, and keep those good thoughts in your mind.
A lot of what you do is muscle memory and it takes time to get it developed.
 
Felt exactly as you describe when I first started flying 30 years ago. The fear has turned to low level anxiety but it's still there.

Flying a single engine airplane is risky. You can die or seriously injure yourself if you screw up.

However, the risk can be mitigated by gaining knowledge on every aspect of flying and learning to fly intentionally. Learn to do things properly and commit to doing them the same way every time.

Your fear can create the basis for becoming a good, safe pilot.
 
nEthan said:
Hi everyone,

My name is Ethan, and I’m from San Diego, CA. I’ve decided to pursue my dream of earning my private pilot’s license, but I want to be honest about where I currently stand: flying makes me nervous. It’s not easy for me right now, but I know deep down that flying is something I truly desire to do.
Click to expand...
Before I began learning to fly, I had a problem with airsickness. Once I was the one in control of the airplane, that went away. I'm guessing the same thing might happen with your nervousness. Even after 40 years of flying, I would have some nervousness before a flight, but as soon as I heading down the runway it would dissolve into thin air.
 
Look up Sean D. Tucker. Now mostly retired from airshows, he was at the pinnacle of aerobatics for 40 years. He pretty much invented the high-energy tumbling aerobatic routine. He was a very nervous flyer as a teenager and took aerobatic lessons to overcome his fear. And decades later, after well over 1,000 airshow performances and flying his routine two to three times a day every day, he says he is still nervous before every flight. He doesn’t let it show, but the point is that even the extreme best pilots aren’t always totally comfortable with the idea of being up there.

As an aside, Sean Tucker is one of those guys who you can’t have a bad day when he’s around. He just exudes positivity and enthusiasm.
 
I think a lot of "fear" is due to the feeling of not being in control. You can recognize when someone driving a car is doing so unsafely but in an airplane you're at the mercy of the pilot. I believe with knowledge and experience that your comfort level will grow. You'll learn to recognize the risks and use your training to mitigate them. Know your limits and fly within them. I've flown light aircraft all over N. America for the past 50 years... while I've had the occasional bit of excitement, I've experienced far more danger on the freeways than I've ever dealt with in the air. For flight training, consider a smaller operation, maybe someone operating under part 91 rather than 141 -- such instructors tend to have more experience anyway as the 141 schools often use former students and instructors while they build their own hours.
 
ateamer said:
He doesn’t let it show, but the point is that even the extreme best pilots aren’t always totally comfortable with the idea of being up there.
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Show me a pilot who's completely comfortable and has no fear at all, and I'll show you someone I don't wanna fly with.

Being a good pilot is about making good decisions, and risk management is a big part of making those good decisions. Someone who doesn't have any fear won't recognize risk, and if they don't recognize it they can't mitigate it. Hence, they will be more dangerous than other pilots.
 
I wonder if there are deep sea diving forums where people show up who can't swim and are terrified of water but they just know they need to become a dive master.

Just kidding, Ethan. I wanted to fly for decades and was shocked how scared I was on my discovery flight. My first 5 hours or so of flight instruction I was fighting air sickness and still scared of heights. The air sickness went away and once you get busy in the cockpit you forget about the heights.

Good luck to you.
 
geneseib said:
Before I began learning to fly, I had a problem with airsickness. Once I was the one in control of the airplane, that went away. I'm guessing the same thing might happen with your nervousness. Even after 40 years of flying, I would have some nervousness before a flight, but as soon as I heading down the runway it would dissolve into thin air.
Click to expand...
Hear hear.

Lots of us feeling like that. I do worry it can impact judgement though.

It gets less with constant practice but comes back more when I know I haven’t been up in a while.
 
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