- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 20,749
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
Display name:
Snorting his way across the USA
They all fit the same demographic. Or at least it started that way. Upper middle age, white, male, close cut hair with pattern baldness. It used to be confined to the gym, but like an epidemic, it is spreading to the streets, to the fast food restaurants, the shopping malls, and like a cancer it is invading the hallowed REI hiking gear section.
What is it?
Athletic shoes with a stupid name and ridiculous, way oversized soles that would make clown shoes look reasonable. I get it. Old people. Bad knees. Orthopedic shoes. Yes, I'm talking about Hoka footware. They look at home in a convalescent care facility. They look out of place anywhere else.
If @SixPapaCharlie set out on a mission to create a line footware that would mess with me, he would start with '70's style platform shoes, make them out of foam core rubber, and cut down the ankle a tad. His family would look down on him and shake their heads, and say "That looks hokey!" His response would be "I don't care, I'm messing with @eman1200 and you know what? Hokie? I'll just call them.... Hoka!"
I'm not saying that's exactly how they came to be, I'm just saying they are what they are. I cringe every time I see them. Now they have spread from middle aged white men with pattern baldness, to woman, and even to Punjabi Indians adorned in turbans. The chakras are NOT in order, my friend. But what do you care, you aren't Hindi.*
I had recently been admonished for wearing New Balance cross trainers on a semi-technical hike in the Sierras. I had made a decision to retire my '80's vintage outdoor hiking boots with hard plastic soles and cracked, dry leather that give you blisters a half mile into a hike with new technology hiking boots. Actually those things gave me blisters the first half-mile when they were new. I was warned that there might be Hoka brand hiking boots on the shelves. Say it ain't so. It was so. I settled on a $300 pair of LA Sportive high ankle boots (whew, do those make a difference) but the REI guy was trying to convince me to go with the Hokas. I wanted to punch him. I couldn't even look at them. It was akin to meat gazing in the shower room of the gym. I'm okay with the side peripheral view but not a direct stare.
I pretty much classify Hoka shoes with cut donuts. Leave the donut uncut I might eat it. Put reasonably sized soles on the shoes and I might wear them.
*joke time. Why did the Hindi disapprove of the Punjabi comedian? He had a Sikh sense of humor.
What is it?
Athletic shoes with a stupid name and ridiculous, way oversized soles that would make clown shoes look reasonable. I get it. Old people. Bad knees. Orthopedic shoes. Yes, I'm talking about Hoka footware. They look at home in a convalescent care facility. They look out of place anywhere else.
If @SixPapaCharlie set out on a mission to create a line footware that would mess with me, he would start with '70's style platform shoes, make them out of foam core rubber, and cut down the ankle a tad. His family would look down on him and shake their heads, and say "That looks hokey!" His response would be "I don't care, I'm messing with @eman1200 and you know what? Hokie? I'll just call them.... Hoka!"
I'm not saying that's exactly how they came to be, I'm just saying they are what they are. I cringe every time I see them. Now they have spread from middle aged white men with pattern baldness, to woman, and even to Punjabi Indians adorned in turbans. The chakras are NOT in order, my friend. But what do you care, you aren't Hindi.*
I had recently been admonished for wearing New Balance cross trainers on a semi-technical hike in the Sierras. I had made a decision to retire my '80's vintage outdoor hiking boots with hard plastic soles and cracked, dry leather that give you blisters a half mile into a hike with new technology hiking boots. Actually those things gave me blisters the first half-mile when they were new. I was warned that there might be Hoka brand hiking boots on the shelves. Say it ain't so. It was so. I settled on a $300 pair of LA Sportive high ankle boots (whew, do those make a difference) but the REI guy was trying to convince me to go with the Hokas. I wanted to punch him. I couldn't even look at them. It was akin to meat gazing in the shower room of the gym. I'm okay with the side peripheral view but not a direct stare.
I pretty much classify Hoka shoes with cut donuts. Leave the donut uncut I might eat it. Put reasonably sized soles on the shoes and I might wear them.
*joke time. Why did the Hindi disapprove of the Punjabi comedian? He had a Sikh sense of humor.
